Now I realize that people do strange things with their medications: flushing it down the toliet, dump it in the sink, vacumning it up, etc.
But there is one thing that I cant wrap my mind around: Digging in their poop for it. Now even I like to admire what comes out of my ass once in a while, but it stays behind the safety fluid before riding the final whirlpool to its destiny. Some people however are more “hands on”.
I shit you not (har har)! I get calls about people complaning that their extended release medication “isnt working” because “they found their pill in their poop”. Is this like an easter egg hunt? Do people feverishly dig in their poop looking for stuff like gold coins and pirate treasure? Its shit, let it go.
Of course we all know that most extended release formulations of potassium, morphine, etc will indeed leave an intact (yet empty) tablet in the ole poop, but try explaining this to a psychotic patient who digs through his/her own poop (heres a tip: you’ll have a better chance reasoning to the turd than the patient).
Then you have the truly sick. The people who not only dig through their poop, but save what they have found in their poop and bring it in to show you. We even had one patient take that poop-ahoy tablet and swallow it again! In fact, we even had one patient go through his/her mothers poop! What the hell is up with that?
So please, take our word for it when we say that you’ll find tablets in your poop. If you do indeed still wish to dig through your brown babies, then please call in your Rx and dont touch anything while you’re here.
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