If you’re a pharmacy student, thinking about getting into pharmacy, or a pharmacy professor, please read this (or read this to your students). This should be the new pharmacist creed. (This starts off sappy, but it gets better).
Being a pharmacist, by the Angry Pharmacist:
Theres a lot of things that you will experience once you’re a pharmacist. You’ll be asked questions. You’ll be praised. You’ll be thanked. You’ll see children grow up. You’ll see grandparents pass away. You’ll be the person to translate between medical speak and common english. You’ll give relief to an nervous mother. You’ll give people hope who have none. You’ll smile. You’ll laugh. You’ll joke with your patients. You’ll see your patients go to the prom. You’ll dispense that Plan B Rx to that girl who was in diapers just last week (so you thought). You’ll be asked questions that involve the word penis and vagina. You’ll be asked to look at rashes, and pink eye, and wounds. You’ll be trusted when their doctors cannot be. You’ll save lives. You’ll drive a nice car, have a house, and a good living. You’ll be hounded by family and friends for advice. You’ll be the first to hear about test results and what they mean. You’ll be the most trusted person in most people’s lives.
You’ll be bitched at. You’ll be taken for granted. You’ll be the target of angry words, attacks, and threats. You’ll be lied to. You’ll be bullshitted. You’ll be overworked and understaffed. You’ll have no gratification from the people who owe you their lives and well being. You’ll be used. You’ll see the shit at the bottom of the pond of society. You’ll (somehow) be the person responsible for slavery, poverty, and all that is evil in the world. You’ll be cried at one min, and yelled at the next when you wont fill soma early. You’ll be the target of con scams, stories, and shit. You’ll become callous and jaded to the world around you. You’ll see not things as right and wrong, but truth and bullshit. You’ll be able to tell a crackhead the moment they walk in the front door. You’ll see addiction, thievery, and diversion. You wont have one min to yourself without being interrupted by an idiot. You’ll see stupidity. You’ll get a gun shoved in your face for money or narcotics (i did, twice even!). You’ll be the target of crime and theft. Your car will be stolen or vandalized or hit in the parking lot by someone with no license, no insurance, and is here illegally (but gets more health benefits than you, on your tax dollar). You’ll sit there powerless to do anything about an addict because you lack proof. You’ll see crooked doctors write out gallons of vicodin and get away with it. You’ll get audited by insurance companies and the DEA and the state board over stupid shit. You’ll see doctors who will rather listen to a big boobed drug rep than you. You’ll be fucked over by the chains and mail order pharmacies who are supposed to be on your side. You’ll get shafted by insurance companies. You’ll see that AWP-25% + 1.50 and think its a good deal. You’ll be left on hold for an hour because the doctors office is too cheap to buy a fax machine. You’ll deal with ignorant doctor office staff who should be cleaning toilets than calling in prescriptions. You’ll get orders wrong because the fucking nurse cant speak clear english. You’ll get a glimmer of happiness when you see a cash customer, only to have it be snuffed out when he wants his Rx’s transfered to a mail order pharmacy because its ‘cheaper’ (after you did all the work to fill them). Your time will be worth nothing to the patients. You’ll get mad. You’ll get frustrated. You’ll consider going on medication. You’ll go on medication. And at the end of the day, when you get home and stare down at the bottom of that third glass of gin; you’ll wonder why in the fuck you went to school to deal with this.
Remember, 98% of the world are good people, but it just takes a fraction of the 2% of assholes to really ruin your day.
If you end up reading this to your staff, printing it out for your pharmacy wall, or read this to your students, let me know so I dont feel like I wasted time thinking of all of this..
- SOMABOTS, TRANSFORM!
- A pharmacist example for non-pharmacists.
- Trying to not kill your patients.
- An open letter to my patients.
- The FDA obviously hates the public and needs to lay off the crack pipe.
- How to make your pharmacy career less painful.
- Cleanup on aisle 4.. now 5… oh damn.
- Shooting yourself in the foot, 10% at a time.
- All in the same boat
- Careastatin, 0 refills remaining.