Types of Patients, part cuatro-o!
Again, my own:
From Natalie in NY (shes got some good ones)
The New Customer
you have all seen it. the one who shows up at the pharmacy because they had their doctor fax over to you and is APPALLED to find that you do not have their information on file
The Technology Nazi
usually old, but not necessarily. the ones that call up and say "DON'T YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR COMPUTER" because we have some maaagical computer that tells me which "pink pill" you want refilled out of HCTZ, celexa, and ISMO. and by "pink" you actually mean "white" or "orange" because you are not currently taking anything pink.
The Lonely Elder
oh yes. my favorite. the old people that live alone and when they get the call from you to tell them their script is ready, they keep you on the phone for the next hour and a half telling you about their neighbor, the weather, their in-home nurse, the economy, the president, their dog, their cat, their slippers, their doctor, their teeth, their arthritis, their kids, their grand-kids, their GREAT grand-kids...........you get the point.
The Wait-n-Stare
almost always old. those that drop off their scripts and continue to stand at the drop-off watching you. you tell them it will be a few minutes and they continue to stand and stare, as if they haven't heard a word you said (and most of the time, they really haven't).
The Old
yes, they deserve their own category. those that still think pharmacists are druggists and they are all male. those that think that mercurachrome is still on the market somewhere. those that want some obscure herb supplement because their neighbor told them about it. Those that need to bring their 60-year-old children in to help them walk to the counters and explain in a loud voice EVERYTHING to them. those that can't see, can't hear, can't walk and still pull out their car keys when walking away from the drop-off. those that wonder how long it could possibly take to "slap a label on a bottle."
The Large Purse Woman
this is the woman that comes to the counter, says she has a prescription to turn in, puts her ungodly huge purse/sack/carry-on luggage on the counter and starts rummaging through it, pulling out things that dont even belong in a purse to find her script. papers, receipts, about 4 wallets, umbrellas, small pets and children....only to find a small wallet jam-packed with assorted money, papers, receipts, credit cards, pictures and has to sort through another mess for the next 3 minutes to find the script all while saying "i know its in here somewhere" because that will make me feel like standing here watching you is a great use of my time.
The Space Invader
now, our drop-off counter is about 2 and a half feet wide. it's kind of hard to get in someones face over a 2 and a half foot counter, but people DO. those that decided that sprawling on my counter, putting their dirty greasy hands all over my counter, leaning over my counter to talk or to hand me a script is okay. its not. my counter is a no-touchy zone and y'all need to back off.
The Know-It-All
found most often in insurace issues. those that KNOW their copay is only $2 and that it CAN'T be anything different. we must be WRONG. those that know that the OTHER drug store had a lower copay (at which we just throw up our arms in dispair, give the script back, and let them go). those that will not admit when wrong.
The Screw-Face
you all know it. those that give you *that look* when things aren't going their way. ie: we have to call your doctor to verify your script, your copay is more than $1, your 5-month-old script for amox is expired because you're on medicaid, your wait time is more than 30 seconds (apparently the time it takes for you to slap a label on a bottle)
The Valley Girl
the 15-year-old gum-chewing, short shorts wearing, hair-and-makeup professionally done gal there to pick up her birth control or valtrex. usually found talking loudly on a cell phone about "OMG lyke did you SEE what she was WEARING"
The Generic Hypochondriac
yes. those that believe that their doctors told them NEVER EVER take a generic. the ones who need the spotted vicodin, the ones that have "bad reactions" to generic drugs (all of them). the ones who make you special-order Mevacor, Zestril, and Ventolin because the "other ones" just dont work.
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Vote for me!
what about the "last-minuter"?
the pharmacy closes at 9 pm - which means that i want to physically leave the pharmacy at 9 pm. you start to clean the bench and turn off the computer at 5 minutes till closing, knowing in your heart of hearts that you won't be able to accomplish a battle with insurance, filling a prescription, and ringing the thing out plus counseling in the next 5 minutes. this person comes tearing into the pharmacy at 2 minutes until closing, breathlessly exclaiming that it's an "emergency". really? your birth control script from a month ago is an emergency? screw off. then you get the dirty hateful blank stare when you tell them you are closing and it will be ready for them tomorrow morning. if you're lucky, they will threaten to tell your manager. if you're unlucky (like me) they will send a fax filled with many correctly spelled words describing you in filthy terms. now, why was it again i should stay late for your self-created crisis? because i want to help people? yeah - people with real problems. it's not my fault you couldn't drag yourself here in a reasonable amount of time.
The Drop and Runner~
The patient that sees there is 4 people ahead of them in line at drop-off, 7 people in line at pickup and the line at drive thru is wrapped around the building. They take their Rx out walk past everyone else after standing in line for about 11 seconds and butt in front of everyone, say "Ill be back to get this tomorrow" and walks briskly out of the store.
Sucks for them when they come back in the morning and hear "Im so sorry maam. you didnt leave your date of birth! if you want to wait 30 minutes we can get it ready for you"
Then she (always a she) says "why will it take so long for you to slap a label on a bottle of Xalatan??"
I have a stupid customer complaint...
non-perscription customer
The jerk that walks up to the counter and it will be any race, gender, or age and they throw the whole store on your counter while you are in the middle of counting 300 Ascol. People expect you to stop everything just so you can ring up their diet pills and 4 bags of hershey kisses, as well as kitty litter, goya coffee, and crossword puzzle books. Then they have the audacity to ask stupid questions about a stupid sale that you know nothing about because it is a pharmacy not the rest of the store. Then they decide that they want to pay $3 by check, then $15 by credit card, then the remaining $7 with a gift card. true accounts in my everyday life :)
Here's a good one for you.
The One that Won't Go Away-This lady (who used to be an LPN) has been my customer since opening the store 15 yrs ago. Always checking prices and trying to make me match W***World. Finally told her years ago that if I don't make money I will close and she will have to use W*****World.
See her in Sam's on my day off. I have to avoid her because of a requiring a bathroom. She follows me into the bathroom, yells at me to hurry up and stands there talking to me while I'm sh***ing. All to tell me some gossip when I'mm done. Ever wonder why Michael Jackson is so nuts?
I had someone tell me that they are allergic to sertraline the generic form of zoloft...I just kinda stared at her a min...and she made us change it back to the brand name...I still cant believe that...words do not describe my frustration...damn customers
One way to teach the customers who think it only takes 30 seconds to slap a label on a tube of cream or to put some pills in a bottle: With the person still standing at your drop-off window, go to the nearest drug bay. Stand in front of the drug bay, facing them. Reach your arm around behind you (don't even turn around) and grab a random bottle/tube of cream. Ask them if they'd like the one you have just grabbed. Of course, they'll say no. They'll tell you they want the ones the doctor ordered. But they will NEVER tell you to just put a label on it and/or put some pills in a bottle again.