Yup, Still some more!
what about the “last-minuter”?
the pharmacy closes at 9 pm – which means that i want to physically leave the pharmacy at 9 pm. you start to clean the bench and turn off the computer at 5 minutes till closing, knowing in your heart of hearts that you won’t be able to accomplish a battle with insurance, filling a prescription, and ringing the thing out plus counseling in the next 5 minutes. this person comes tearing into the pharmacy at 2 minutes until closing, breathlessly exclaiming that it’s an “emergency”. really? your birth control script from a month ago is an emergency? screw off. then you get the dirty hateful blank stare when you tell them you are closing and it will be ready for them tomorrow morning. if you’re lucky, they will threaten to tell your manager. if you’re unlucky (like me) they will send a fax filled with many correctly spelled words describing you in filthy terms. now, why was it again i should stay late for your self-created crisis? because i want to help people? yeah – people with real problems. it’s not my fault you couldn’t drag yourself here in a reasonable amount of time.
The Traveler: Always comes in at least 20 days early
to get his 30 day supply of Vicodin, Xanax, Soma, etc.
refilled because he’s “going out of town.” I swear,
drug addicts travel more than any people I know!
Always gets pissed when I don’t fill the
Can ONLY Talk To The Pharmacist: This type of patient
believes he MUST talk to the pharmacist, and ONLY the
pharmacist each time he calls or visits the pharmacy.
It doesn’t matter if it is something as simple as
calling in prescription numbers for refills, he MUST
talk to the pharmacist, damn it! While I guess I
should be flattered that these patients hold me in
such high esteem, I assure you that my technicians are
perfectly capable of writing down prescription
I Only Want To Deal With (Insert Name Here): Similar
to “Can Only Talk To The Pharmacist.” This type of
patient believes that only one person working in the
pharmacy is capable of helping him, so he only wants
to talk to that particular person, and NOBODY else.
You know you have encountered this type of patient
when the following scenario takes place: “Is
so-and-so working today?” “No, she’s off today. Is
there something I can help you with?” “NO, I’ll call
back when SHE’S there!” (slams phone down) I guess
these people either have to change pharmacies or are
just shit-out-of-luck when their special person quits.
Refuses To Read The Label: We get at least five calls
from these morons daily. “I need to know if I’ve got
any refills left on this. Let me get the bottle and
give you the number.” Do they really not see the
“Refills Remaining” at the bottom of the label????
Cannot Pronounce “Prescription”: I can’t believe how
many times I’ve heard this word mangled. Examples:
subscription, recription, encryption, trip-shun,
Cannot Pronounce “Generic”: Usually the same people
who also cannot pronounce “prescription.” Examples:
genetic, geriatric, jer-netic, jen-teric. Every
pharmacist has heard the following sentence at least
once: “I don’t want genetic on my subscription!”
The Shopper: Seen most often in supermarket
pharmacies. Drops off her prescription and says “I
need to pick up a couple of things in the store, so
I’ll come back to get this later.” Inevitably, she
returns with a shopping cart loaded with a fucking
MOUNTAIN of groceries, and expects them to be rung up
with her prescription. Bitches, complains to store
management, calls the corporate office, etc., when we
refuse to ring up all of her shit.
The Dirty Old Man: Tries to flirt with the attractive
young female technicians, clerks, and
pharmacists…along with the ugly older ones, too.
Always laughed at when he leaves the pharmacy,
especially if he has just picked up a prescription for
The Horny Older Woman: Not nearly as common as the
Dirty Old Man, but she does exist. Flirts with the
male pharmacy staff, especially the pharmacists since
they make the most money. Unfortunately, these are
never women that 99.9999% of guys want to hook up
with. Why is it always the 60-something grandmother
who tells me I have “pretty eyes” instead of a smoking
hot 18-year-old girl?
She’s Hot, But… : We’ve this running joke going in
my pharmacy for about 10 years. It seems like every
time a good-looking woman comes up to the counter, she
always has a prescription for Terazol, Valtrex,
Metrogel Vaginal, Aldara, or some other medication for
a vaginal problem. It almost NEVER fails!
The one on govt. aid
This person, on government aid, calls on the last day of the month and
declares, “I still have my (insert number of free prescriptions/month
they get) slots left for the month. Do I have anything I can get
refilled?” Never mind that they have no idea what is on their profile
and that they obviously don’t need the medication since they haven’t
filled it since the first time they got it 4 months ago, they just
want to use their slots because they can. We are paying so they can
have 3 months of unused Caduet somewhere in their mess of a medicine
cabinet. By the way, they have no idea why they are on Caduet and
what it is used for.
The foreigner who doesn’t bother to learn English
This person knows no English and comes up to your counter and starts
talking in their language assuming that you speak their language. I’m
sorry, I don’t know 10 different languages. Then you proceed to try
to help them through sign language, pointing at various parts and
saying the few foreign words that you do know. After 5 minutes, they
get exasperated and walk off.
The angry person who goes to the wrong pharmacy
You would think this wouldn’t happen too much, but unfortunately, we
do get many people who go to the wrong pharmacy. This person is
picking up for someone else. This person had something go wrong in
their day. At which point, they go off on some angry tirade about how
their wife/husband/friend told them to pick up their rx at your XYZ
pharmacy, they always go to XYZ pharmacy, no, it is not possible that
it is at ABC pharmacy. This person is just absolutely steaming, their
mouth is frothing, smoke is coming out of the ears. Because you are
so nice, even though they are ready to jump over the counter and
strangle you because you don’t have any idea what they are talking
about, you offer to call to other pharmacies close by and see if they
have it. Of course, it is ready to be picked up at ABC pharmacy, not
yours, and you don’t get so much feeble sorry after you inform them of
this little tidbit of important information.
Speaks for itself. You are more than happy to put them at the front
of the line, just to get them out of the store because the pharmacy
smells like the roadkill pile at the local trash dump.
The “Did my Dr. call back yet?”
No refills. Dr has been faxed. Calls every hour on the hour. You
know who he/she is by voice. No, we have not gotten the fax back.
Yes, we did check our fax machine. Usually one of the rudest
customers the pharmacy has.
The drive thru shopper
Not even a pharmacy customer. Comes through the drive thru. Can I
get some (insert OTC name)? Some even have the audacity to ask for
milk or some other non-pharmacy related item. I’m sorry, drive thru
is for pick up and drop off of PRESCRIPTION medications only.
The Drop and Runner~
The patient that sees there is 4 people ahead of them in line at drop-off, 7 people in line at pickup and the line at drive thru is wrapped around the building. They take their Rx out walk past everyone else after standing in line for about 11 seconds and butt in front of everyone, say “Ill be back to get this tomorrow” and walks briskly out of the store.
Sucks for them when they come back in the morning and hear “Im so sorry maam. you didnt leave your date of birth! if you want to wait 30 minutes we can get it ready for you”
Then she (always a she) says “why will it take so long for you to slap a label on a bottle of Xalatan??”
The jerk that walks up to the counter and it will be any race, gender, or age and they throw the whole store on your counter while you are in the middle of counting 300 Ascol. People expect you to stop everything just so you can ring up their diet pills and 4 bags of hershey kisses, as well as kitty litter, goya coffee, and crossword puzzle books. Then they have the audacity to ask stupid questions about a stupid sale that you know nothing about because it is a pharmacy not the rest of the store. Then they decide that they want to pay $3 by check, then $15 by credit card, then the remaining $7 with a gift card. true accounts in my everyday life
The One that Won’t Go Away-This lady (who used to be an LPN) has been my customer since opening the store 15 yrs ago. Always checking prices and trying to make me match W***World. Finally told her years ago that if I don’t make money I will close and she will have to use W*****World.
See her in Sam’s on my day off. I have to avoid her because of a requiring a bathroom. She follows me into the bathroom, yells at me to hurry up and stands there talking to me while I’m sh***ing. All to tell me some gossip when I’mm done. Ever wonder why Michael Jackson is so nuts?
Ex pharmacy employee
They haven’t worked in a pharmacy in a hundred years but they know everything. Will stand and tell you how it use to be. ” We had to type all the labels by hand, count the pills by hand, tote that barge lift that bale and so on.” Will announces to the store if they where back there nobody would be waiting in line. So you tell them “the reason that line is 6 deep is because of the ten prescription they brought in only 1 had refills ,2 of the others the doctor moved over a year ago, and printer is still printing rejects on the other bullshit you brought in. Plus now we have third party payers (back then everyone paid cash) that will screw you over every chance they get, BTW the insurance card you have is no good Have a nice day!
Life’s true winners. Calls in for refills to be delivered. Fill rx’s, give to delivery guy, start working on other orders. 15 minutes later back on the phone wanting to know what’s taking so long. Try to explain he delivers when he in the area not on first come first serve. No dice ” I’ve been out of medicine for 3 days now and I need it RIGHT NOW.” Question 1″ Why did you wait until you were out dumbass?” Question 2 ” Is there anyway you could be more demanding”. 2 hours later driver brings sack back and tells us the house is empty. Ok, try to call but phones been disconnected. MMMM now what. You have to wait until the bitch calls back to scream at you for taking so long! After a 5 minute rant she runs out of steam and you able to ask the magic question “Did you by any chance move?” Well yes I moved about a week ago, why is that important, the doctor office knows about it” is the reply. You then explain that if there is refills YOU DON’T CALL THE DOCTOR, YOU FILL IT AND SEND IT TO THE ADDRESS ON FILE. Now if your medicine is that important then tell us where the hell you live! Then just after the driver leaves with the order again and you calm down, SHE CALLS BACK TO TELL YOU SHE FORGOT TO ORDER SOMETHING AND NEED IT DELIVERED BECAUSE “I’M COMPLETELY OUT AND NEED IT BEFORE DINNER”. This isn’t someone that’s old or disabled. It’s a welfare queen that thinks everyone owes her something.
I know you have a technology one on there, but can we talk about the people who punch the touch screen credit card machines. It’s a fucking touch screen, not a boxing match. These are the people who push it so hard I think the thing is going to break and then when i politely tell them if you touch the top of the button lightly it will take it. Also the people that use the pen on the touch screen and put it back between each question. It says credit or debit, they type in their pin, then put it down, it asks if you would like cash back, they hit no, then put the pen down, then it asks if the total is ok, then proceed to ask me, why are there so many questions. I made it that way because I enjoy your presence, I don’t know now take your prescriptions and get the fuck away from my counter.
We have a few habitual callers, they are a subclass to the crack head since they are only calling 15 times to get controls. I don’t have your refill, call your doctor’s office and tell them to call us instead of leaving it on the fucking voicemail. If you call me one more time, I am going to fill your prescription, sell it since you don’t have a copay and then flush them down the fucking toilet so you can’t have any for 3 more weeks, how do you like that, quit calling.
My last one is The “Can you do this as fast as you can” lady. Sure I have a waiting room full of people, but I am just DYING to do your CII before all the other ones I have. I realize that you just got out of the hospital for God only knows what, but I have 2 ladys that have just had babies ahead of you and I guess their pain doesn’t matter. Take your stupid ass over to the waiting room. I will get to you after I get to the other 4 crackheads that brought in their ER rx’s before you
- Paying the PBM’s to service them.
- Im dreaming of a Crackhead Christmas.
- SOMABOTS, TRANSFORM!
- A pharmacist example for non-pharmacists.
- Trying to not kill your patients.
- An open letter to my patients.
- The FDA obviously hates the public and needs to lay off the crack pipe.
- How to make your pharmacy career less painful.