Dont you love it when a patient of yours just bold-face lies to you? Hell, some of them are so good at it that even my bullshit detector doesnt go off (the first time).. Sometimes I think they actually believe the crap that is coming out of their mouth.
But to all of those out there who need a reminder of how to make a story believable, heres some pointers:
Now I know i’m going to get lots of hate mail on this one (like my rant about poor people and pain) saying “wah wah wah, I have chronic pain, you dont understand, wah wah wah”. Yes, it sucks that you have chronic pain, and yes, you shouldnt be treated like an addict, but laws are made because of the BAD people, not the GOOD people like yourself. So yes, the shit I deal with on a daily basis makes it harder for legitamite people to get medication. Thats life. So until we can wipe all the crackhead addicts off the planet that ruin it for the legit people, you’ll have to just float to the surface of the retard wave and show your local pharmacist that you are indeed not one of those crackheads.
For those who need to take this further:
We have a lot of stake here, our licenses, our jobs, our homes, etc. Shit that we spent up to 7 years of college for the slip of paper that lets us legally do our job. Does the DEA care that we are just trying to ‘Help People” who come in and feed us line after line of bullshit? Hell no! Does the State Pharmacy Board? Hell no! They see a vial from YOUR store with YOUR initials for 200 lortabs off of some street seller which (upon getting refill records via subpoena) they see that you’ve been filling a month supply every 10 days for the last 6 months because they were (according to them) “in chronic pain”. Will that patient bail your ass out of jail? No! Will they pay your house payment? No! Will they put your kids through college? No! Will the Doctor say “Yup! I supplied that addict!” FUCK NO!!!@#!@ Pharmacists get good gut feelings about people. If you’re on-time, a regular patient, and get other shit filled there than your Norco/Valium/Soma (better if your whole family comes there and yanno, talks to us) then we’ll believe you when you say you lost them.
To just assume that everyone who starts every conversation with “OK, heres what happened” is in chronic pain and not trying to get dope to sell is a bit naive and quite silly. Why put locks on our front doors? Everyone is a ‘good person’ that wont try to rip you off. Why do I even need to be at the pharmacy? I’ll just open everything up, put a little collection box in front for people to slip their copays in, make a kiosk that prints the labels, and people can scoop their pills out of big bins into vials like you see in the supermarket.
Soma in 55 gallon drums with a big clear plastic scooper. My god.
- Paying the PBM’s to service them.
- Im dreaming of a Crackhead Christmas.
- SOMABOTS, TRANSFORM!
- A pharmacist example for non-pharmacists.
- Trying to not kill your patients.
- An open letter to my patients.
- The FDA obviously hates the public and needs to lay off the crack pipe.
- How to make your pharmacy career less painful.