Theres one thing that i’ve noticed about most of the patients that I deal with on a daily basis.
The amount of pain you are in is inversely proportional to your income.
Now you may be asking “Hey! Thats a pretty fuck up thing to say!”, but can you prove me wrong? Sure you can bring up examples of rock-stars and heroin use; and Rush Limbaugh and oxycontin, but this pales to the amount of vicodin, soma and valium that I dish out to people who are on the state program.
So what makes these people have so much pain? I half way feel sorry for them. I mean what could they possibly do to be in such excruciating pain that it requires 120 vicodin every 15 days?
Its not just pain, its muscle spasms as well! I go through gallons of soma a month. In fact, their muscle spasms are so specific, that only generic Soma made by Watson will work (You know, the ones with DAN inprinted on the tablet). In fact, it seems that any hydrocodone made by Watson Labs does a superior job at controlling the pain than any other manufacturer! Of course we cant leave out Tylenol #3’s (that must have the 3’s on the tablet), or Generic Valium (that have the 10 on the tablet). Tablet markings equal more potency, everyone knows that. Surprisingly, I had a patient ask me if these were the vicodin that had “Watson 349” on them (I think). I look, and sure as shit they knew the NDC number of Vicodin and Vicodin ES.
Now I have two blown out knees due to high-impact sports in my younger days. I need a motrin at most when the weather gets bad and my knees ache (this is beside the point that I spend 9 hours on my feet, 5 days a week). When I walk they creak more than an old ship. Do I need vicodin? No. Do I need soma? No. Valium? No. Have I ever taken Vicodin? Once when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, and I took 1 to get me through the night.
Why on earth would someone take 3 vicodin, 3 soma, and 3 valium a day? We all know the type: come in with that nice glazed over look in their eyes, dont respond properly to conversation or questions. Its like talking with a brainstem.. The highlight of their whole month is when they can come and pick up their dope–er–medication a month.
So what do we do? We have to sit there and grin and bear it fully aware that they are selling the shit, but we have zero proof to actually do anything about it. Humanity makes me sad.
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