Rules to go by when visiting your pharmacy AKA Manners

I get the winners of life coming into my store. Some of them I just want to smack and strangle. Here are some tips for those at home for a delightful pharmacy experience.

  • If you are on the state dime, I expect a “please” and “thank you” when I fill your prescription. Being rude to me while spending my tax dollars so you can pop out more children just makes your Rx take longer to fill, and your vicodin prices get higher.
  • You are free to talk on your cell phone. However if you must do it in the store, please use a quiet voice. If you wish to talk on it loudly while I’m trying to consult you on your crotchfruit’s medication, don’t call me in 5 min asking stupid questions. Nothing makes me happier than to tell you “If you weren’t talking on your cell phone, you would know this.”
  • If you have small children, please watch them. I don’t shit in your house, so I don’t expect your children to tear shit apart in my store.
  • Our garbage cans are not for your dirty diapers.
  • Our outside ashtray is filled with sand so you can put out your cig. It is NOT a place for your child to play.
  • The price I give you for Vicodin and Soma is the price I give you. I could give a rat’s ass if the chain down the street is $1 cheaper.
  • Putting your infant carrier on the counter (with infant inside) and telling my clerks “Watch him for a second while I get money (for vicodin and soma no less) out of the car.” Is not what a “good mother” should do. You should know this by now; this is your 5th. However since you are only 22, I will just assume you’re just dumb.
  • If you are going to insult me, please use proper english. My english isn’t the best, but its better than “you dont ax me where i got dis vicodin at”.
  • Things of a personal nature should be spoken with me in private. Shouting at me “Why does my husbands high blood pressure medication make my his pecker not work” from across the store is going to give you a totally silent pharmacy and blank stares as my insides explode.
  • If you are going to proclaim anything about your husbands “pecker”. Please make sure your husband isn’t standing right next to you.
  • If you are going to bullshit me, please use the same story on different pharmacists. We do compare notes, and we don’t like to be told that your vicodin was stolen one day, and flushed down the toilet by your infant the next day.
  • Shower. Please. For the sake of the world.
  • Let me repeat. FUCKING SHOWER WITH SOAP AND WATER.
  • Call in the number of your vaginal cream tube. Don’t show me how greasy you can get our label.
  • Shower? Please? For your pharmacist?

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  • 11 Comments

    1. I would comment favorably on a lot of things, but one thing you said got my attention: the kids tearing up things in the store. Just to add perspective: until I was 12 years old (1964), I experienced store employees watching me like a hawk any time I was in a store unaccompanied by one of my parents. If I touched something, they were on my like a fly on shit. “DON’T TOUCH!” they stated loudly. I guess those days are long gone.
      I think one major indicator of today’s level of personal character is the way people do their littering. They will just SET THE PAPER CUP DOWN. They don’t even crush it; they just put it down. To me, this means that they do not care if people around them live or die. They have zero conscience, zero responsibility.

    2. Pharmacy God says:

      When I worked at Big City Medicaid Pharmacy, I always enjoyed it when then Medicaid chicks would dig the Metro-Gel Vag and Terazol-7 tubes out of their purses with the pubic hairs stuck to them.

    3. drh says:

      I love you. Really. Even if you sometimes think (justifiably honestly) that most drs. are from the dark side. I feel a real bond with other people who make it their job to make drug seekers lives’ hell.

    4. Eutectic says:

      I would add to the list the people who come to your store and insist they dropped of the RX to your store and after we spend time interrogating all the employees as to who took the script and repeatedly asking the customer are they sure they didn’t take it next door for us to call them and sure enough the script is over there. Beat that Criss Angel, script disappeared from one pharmacy to another.

    5. madge says:

      amen!
      your guide to manners is why i work in a hospital. i can at least curse the nurses out if they’re rude and they’re never as disgusting as the general public.

    6. Just another Intern says:

      Going back on the cellphone thing, I think the person who invited walkie-talkie cell phones should be shot!! Or the people using it. No one needs to hear the conversation especially if your wife wants you to pick up some pads and KY jelly! There is no need!!!

    7. Hope says:

      You know, I was talking to another pharm just today about this, and what she said struck me as horribly true. People NEVER diss their nurses like they do us. They trust their nurses to know things that a nurse has no clue about, but we are glorified cashiers to the vast majority of the unwashed masses. What the hell???
      LOVE the ‘you doan ax me where I got dis vicodin at.’ Perfect

    8. fred says:

      wow. i can sense a lot of hostillity to people on medicaid and welfare… not that some of it is not warrented… I am sure some if it is.
      But most of these comments seem to be directed to ALL people on state aid.
      Nearly everyone has gotten help from the government at least once in their lives… so by the way these posts are worded everyone in the country is the same kind of person… a dirty money-grubbing “the world owes” human being.
      Quick question, when you went to Pharmacy School did you get any Financial Aid? fill out a FAFSA?

    9. ricki says:

      I would observe that it would be the mark of a decent human being – whether on the dole or not – to say “please” and “thank you” to someone who’s performing a service for them.
      I mean, I say it. Even when I might think the person doesn’t totally deserve it – like the pharmacist’s assistant who spent 5 minutes on the cell phone with her boyfriend while I was waiting for her help.
      It seems that “common courtesy,” ain’t any more.

    10. bridgit says:

      Common courtesy?? I thought I was old-school actually reminiscing about the days when please and thank you were the standard…..and I’m only 45yoa! We have extremely rude customers – the worst since they are both well-educated and wealthy with a tremendous sense of entitlement. They are quite impatient, overall. My staff and I are becoming habituated to expecting rudeness. We are delighted at a customer’s smile or the occasional “thank you”. I think it must be really sad to live in their skin if they have to constantly expect the world to revolve around them and to treat other human beings really poorly. In a way, their rude behavior is a motivator for me personally to be very aware of how I treat others.

    11. Vivian says:

      For those of us that are on the other end of the spectrum. I appreciate the time and courtesy that many Pharmacists extended to me when I needed educated on what most would consider “common sense” approaches on how to handle all of my medical drugs. I was on public assistance for a few years and was stupid about my approach in seeking medical help. It was in fact a pharmacist who asked me why I went to the emergency room for rashes and such. That person then took the time to explain how insurance worked and how if i got a regular physician he would/could call in medications for the eczema that I would get periodically. I thanked him and went home to call all of my friends about this new approach. Most of us appreciate you for your professional skills and education. I apologize for all the stupid asses you have to deal with on a daily basis. **I work in a medical office now and educate other people.

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