Nothing is more frustrating than having to work when you are sick. Unfortunately I’ve been sick this entire week and (due to my wonderful work ethic) cannot call in sick. Therefore I take my anger and frustration out on other people (much to the joys of you at home).
Ungrateful welfare people: I get up every morning at 6am and drag my ass into work so your lazy fucking ass can sleep until 11am. Therefore I deserve a little more courtesy than “Give me my Vico-Dans”. Seriously, let me work HARDER so you can be more of a BITCH to me. Why are my tax dollars paying for your stupid ass again? Oh, thats right, because we’re the working serfs and you’re just a welfare scammer. To those at home who want to start an argument with me: Leave your gated communities and 40k SUV’s and drive to the bad part of town and work there for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. After you clean the turd stains down the back of your legs, you’ll understand why throwing money at a problem does not make it go away.
Drug Reps: If you are a drug rep, go shoot yourself. If you are thinking about becoming a drug rep, go into prostitution, you’ll get more respect from me. Some drug rep comes and visits me from Pfizer trying to push Liptor. I’m swamped, sick, tired, and the hoe just stands there and doesn’t take a hint. I angerly stumble down and put on my “im happy” face and see what free shit she has for me. Nothing, just a binder with some papers. She then proceeds to tell me how wonderful Lipitor is vs Zocor. I tell her “Zocor is like $5 vs $100, how do you get off fooling yourself that Lipitor is better?”. She gives me this big hooplah about drug interactions and rabdo (she horribly mangles the whole name), etc etc etc. Basically just trying to spoon feed me the shit that Pfizer filled her head with. After she was done completely making an ass of herself I said “So, %1 of the population cant take Zocor, why should people use Lipitor when 1 month of that will pay for 1 year of Zocor?”. She hands me these stupid little reimbursement cards so you can get “a whopping $15 off of your copay”. Fucking Wee for you! 15 bucks on a 100 dollar drug! Let me dance a fucking jig of joy. She was so excited about this I think she was about to cream her panties. I ruined that by saying “Why doesn’t Pfizer just lower the price of Lipitor rather than hand out these stupid cards? Have you noticed that you’re existence being here is fueled by a similar drug going generic and dirt cheap? Where were you a year ago pushing Liptor when Zocor was trade name? What about Pravachol? Why all of a sudden all the attention to Zocor? Oh, I know, because its dirt cheap”. She gave me this really dirty look as I creamed my panties with that rant and handed me a binder citing all of the studies and told me to read it for myself. I said “Oh, nice, studies funded by Pfizer, go figure, I already know how this is going to end”. She thanked me for my time, and with a huff waltzed off. I think i soiled myself with glee after that. To all of the drug reps out there in internetland: A pharmacist is busy like a doctor. Best thing you can do is wave hello, and leave the stuff with the clerks if you stand there more than 30 seconds without the pharmacist acknowledging your existence. You all have the uncanny ability to come at the absolute wrong time (during lunch) so thats why we (meaning I) am always pissy when I see you. Plus to be honest, we really don’t give a shit what you are pushing, we just like the free pens. The person you should be lap-dancing for is the insurance companies. They run the show, we dont. We’ll switch it to a generic 99% of the time because then we get lube when the insurance companies rape our behinds. Insiders view, take it how you will.
“Nurses” who cant speak english: Totally insulted a “nurse” by saying “Im sorry, can you get someone who speaks english? I really cant understand a word you are saying”. Then the person who got on said I was being an asshole! Me? An asshole? NEVAH! I just said that I couldn’t understand the persons english and to just give me the fucking Rx so I can stop wasting more time. I mean it wasn’t anything ambiguous.. Only HYDRALAZINE 25 tid. You know, a totally legit sig for Hydralazine or Hydroxyzine. I’ll just flip a coin on this one. People think that we need correct directions for medications. HA! All of pharmacy is just good guesses and tons of luck! Silly non-english speakers and their bok-bok accents! Seriously, remove the stick from your anus and wake up. People’s lives are at stake and if you cant fucking say the drug names than you shouldn’t be calling in Rx’s.
Pharmacy Student Associations: Yanno what really bugs me? These pharmacy school students who are so gung-ho about the profession that they go to all the meetings, and get togethers, and circle jerks, and orgys, etc. They are so proud to be president of some alphabet soup association. They think they are so fucking important “pioneering the way for the future of pharmacy”. Oh, im sorry, us retail folk are busting our ass to serve what you so gleefully verbally masturbate each other about. I’m not saying that the associations are bad, they do a ton of good and I’m a member (yes yes, I know) of them, but the students who go all horny and brag about how they hold an office and put it on their resume. After you have been in the trenches for 15 years, then you can ‘pioneer’ to your hearts content. How do you fucking ‘know’ the profession or what it ‘needs’ when you’re just a fucking two bit student and have never worked a fucking day as a fucking pharmacist. Whew, prometh kicked in when writing that one.
Working while Sick: As said before, I’m ill. Yes, I did work due to some people calling in dead or retarded. Yes I have wonderful work ethics that I will only go home if I am on a death bed. Yes, I am every employee an independent pharmacy has wet dreams about. Yes I am fucking awesome and if you knew me in real life you would say “YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME”. However the awesome-machine that is me tends to gum up and jam when I’m sick. I fucking hate it. I feel like ass, and no matter how much ibuprofen, entex-la, and prometh-dm I guzzle I still feel like ass. I have no urges to try the shit with codeine, or tussionex, or any of that controlled shit. I only took prometh-dm because we didn’t have an open bottle of Robatussin DM hanging around and I didn’t feel like buying it.
SHOWERS: For fucks sake! I’m on the verge of throwing up so hard my asshole would suck in air. All I need is for some funky smelling patient coming in and giving me dry heaves. Seriously, go jump in a pond or use the garden hose in the back to bathe. Fortunately my nose is all stuffed up, so I’m partially immune to their evil powers, however I can do that mouth-smell thing. Ew.
First off, a big screw-you to all those people out there who say “oh dear, why is a pharmacist working when he is sick spreading germs to everyone that comes in! Thats horrible!”. First off, I’m not coughing or sneezing into your vial (even though sometimes I’d like to take a dump in it). Second, it helps drum up business. Third, all of your sick asses come and cough on me and get my staff sick. Its payback time, go to hell.
As I sit here at 1am waiting for my promethazine-DM (no, not the codeine one you crackheads, though the Alpharma made one I heard is quite tasty) to kick in so I can sleep, let me tell you about my week.
Highlights of the Angry Pharmacist’s Week:
So yes, that has been my week. I left out the parts about crying and early refills, and the other mundane shit that everyone reads on here.