There are some things that go on in a pharmacy that are set in stone like the sun rising in the morning. Pharmacy school should publish this list for their students. Seriously, its all true. Lets examine a few:
Drug reps/Headhunters/Pharm Companies/etc will always call you/stop by at the absolute worst time. Much like the tuesday after a three day weekend, or on the first of the month. During the slow times of the month you wont hear a peep from them.
Your most important tech will make a doctors appointment on the tuesday after a three day weekend and be gone for half of the day. You wonder why he/she couldn’t make that appointment for some day when you aren’t contemplating suicide.
The patient who you thought you filled that Rx correctly for ended up having another last name and the same birth-date as someone else in your system. Of course they don’t tell you this until after they have received the Rx and loudly proclaim that you filled it for the wrong person with a store full of people. I mean aren’t we supposed to know that her full name is Maria Consuelo Rodriguez Maravilla Hernandez Guadalupe AIAIAIAIA ARRIBA?
That bottle of expensive-drug-x is exactly one tablet short to fill that Rx, and the patient wants you to order a whole new bottle of #100 so you can fill the balance of 1 tablet. Oh, and the patient is the only person you have on this medication.
Someone will always come into the store with a fistful of Rx’s at exactly 1 min until closing, and want them all right now. This is after most of your staff have already left leaving you alone to do all the work.
Your bazillion dollar counting machine will blow up only when half of your staff calls in sick, and you really really need it.
Insurance cards + correct ID number = HAHAHAH RIGHT!
Argus and Wellpoint will be down, but not at the same time. We cant have you do absolutely nothing all day, so we’re just going to fuck up half of your day.
Your computer system/network/DSL goes out when your computer guy is on vacation.
“This is not the ID card you are looking for” *hand wavy jedi trick*
When you call out a patients name to tell them their Rx is ready, the wrong person will come up and claim it. Then get pissed off because to them “John” sounds like “Steven”.
30 min into a phone call to the pharmacy help desk of the insurance company to get an ID number, the patient will magically pull a current ID card out of his/her ass then wonder why you are upset at them.
The “Nurse” calling in the Rx wont be able to read doctors handwriting, then spend 10 min taking a poll in the front office as to what that sig looks like. Heaven forbid she couldn’t read over the Rx before she got you on the phone.
When looking at a doctors scribble, you will always pick the wrong doctor in your system. We are expected to be able to read sloppy signatures much like we are able to tell our own shit-smear on a piece of toilet paper.
The one doctor who does not know about the iPledge program or NPI numbers is the one you deal with on a daily basis, and the only one that you can’t really tell to go eat a dick.
The pharmacy calling you for copies doesn’t have a pharmacist, and the two-bit clerk who called you doesn’t know their fax number or have any Rx numbers.
A patient brings in lunch for your staff, but you cant eat it because you are up to your eyeballs in work. It smells really nice though.
There is only 1 scoop of coffee grounds left in the container, so you just drink brown water all day.
Last but not least:
That bottle of gin that you were so looking forward to after days like yesterday will be sitting on your bar empty when you need it the most.
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 5th, 2007 at 11:19 am
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True….oh so true…
Yup, the classic “look over the top of the monitor” trick crosses the Atlantic. Closely followed by the “I’m not looking down your top whilst you bend over to sign your prescription”
What does RTS stand for? Return to Stock?
Angry, how do you know he’s Mexican?
I had a streak going for a while where every girl who would smile at me was picking up scripts for antipsychotics. Then of course the ones you are into always are filling contraceptives meaning you are out of luck 9 out of 10 times right off the bat.
To Mr. H,
RTS is refill too soon.
Don’t forget about the downward crotch stare from the drive-thru window while you’re pretending to be concerned that they’ve retrieved everything from the drawer!
However, with each of these methods there are risks…. Not only of being caught, but of getting a different view than you expected! The ‘over the monitor’ trick fails when the apparent hottie gets close and you realize that she’s an original AARP recipient….. and her ID number is probably “12″. Then there’s the ‘down the shirt’ fiasco when the nice rack is so saggy when she leans over that they rest on the counter like two overfilled water balloons stretching from gravity. But the nastiest is the ‘drive-thru crotch shot’ when the thighs look like an interstate road map with all the blue and red vessels….. Or worse yet, the bulge you happen to spot is too big to be cameltoe or a winged maxi pad…. And you realize you’ve just waited on Dragzilla!!!
I can’t tell you how many chicks have lost “hot points” for getting Plan B and Aldara.
What always happens to me is, I’ll have a rare moment of down-time and this real REAL HOTTIE will come into the store and start spending some quality time
in the vitamin section RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME…and just as she bends over [not the "ladylike" way]to check out the iron supplement on the bottom shelf–she and I being whisked away to some deserted island {mentally anyways}…I hear some old bat from the PRIVATE consultation area say-excuse me, excuse me…after coming to my senses and realizing that I’m really still at work…The old bat proceeds to interrogate me for 20 minutes on which eyebrow curler is best…The only thing I can see is the condom section, the consultation divider and of course the old bat–and afterward **my deserted island beauty–**poof**–vanished!!!
MrH,
RTS is “Return to Stock” in my pharmacy…
Looks like you have two options of which to decide it means!
You’re all a bunch of perverts!!!
I agree with everything previously stated but had a very funny encounter today. Hot blonde walks up to my window i look up and am pleasantly suprised, normally just an elderly crowd. Well i say how may i help you and the answer i got was funny, i actually laughed. She asked if we were open. I was standing at my computer typing in scripts and gave her a weird look, looked around at a tech and my pharmacist and said yeah. When she walked off we all just busted up laughing and she turned around and looked back and we just laughed harder.
been there done that. the pharmacy i used to work at had a complex system within its system that kept track of the hot ones. the number of exclamation points in their profile was an indicator of hotness level. it was a system that was developed over many hours. god, i miss working there.
you ever have the joy of interviewing a smoking hot tech, pharmacy student or pharmacist?
i had the hottest of smoke at my pharmacy last month, looking for a pharmacist position.
my partner and i had to use all of our Superior Pharmacist Mind Power to divert our eyes from her highly exposes cleave
Wow, rants from the most trusted profession. Checking out mentally ill hotties and how to get away with it. By the way, do you have beer and gravey stains on that labcoat?
Wow, rants from the most trusted profession. Checking out mentally ill hotties and how to get away with it. By the way, do you have beer and gravey stains on that labcoat?
I work in a hospital now, and I am a woman, but man, I sure wish the place where I worked had hot men! It was a very economically depressed river town where most of the people looked like that little creature in “Toy Story” that was bell-shaped, and had an antenna and three eyes.
When I worked for Eckerd the front end manger used to use the overhead to page “price check aisle #” any time there was a hot chick. Those were good times.