Just give it to my kid…

It annoys me how some people send their kids in to pick up their medication.  Not like grown-up teenage kids, but like 8 year olds while they sit in the comfort of their car parked right in front of the pharmacy.

Now, its quite often that we need to talk to you about your medication.  Stuff gets changed, discontinued, added, etc.  Do you really trust that your 8 year old will relay the message?  Should we show your 8 year old how to test his/her blood sugar so he/she can show you how to do it? Will your daughter be intelligent enough to point out the huge highlighted note saying that your metformin dose has changed?  Should I give your daughter the calendar so she can point to the date when your Soma is due?  Will a size 12 boot fit nicely up your ass or should I use a size 13?

When you call us on the phone from the parking lot, and refuse to come in with the excuse of “Just show my kid”, I want to go take a dump on your windshield.  I’m not going to trust YOUR life and MY career to your 8 year old daughter who has a hard enough time remembering what her last name is (because all the kids have different last names).  I realize that 30′ is a long way to travel, and if it wasn’t for drive-through fast-food and A/C you would probably starve, however if I need to talk to you I expect for you to walk your fatsomyalgia ass over to the counter so I can SHOW you what I need to show you.  If you still refuse thats fine, but so help me if you call in 30 min and expect me to walk you through using a test machine that I just showed your daughter how to use I’m going to piss in your next filling of Prometh with Codeine.

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14 Comments

  1. Naye says:

    Oh my God Fatsomyalgia!!! You kill me.

  2. the little tech that does..... says:

    You hit the nail right on the head AP! Sadly they send in the older ones for the younger kids meds as well. Yay, they get to play with suspensions.

  3. rph3664 says:

    I once had a customer who had no husband, two children, and mental retardation, and her 8-year-old son was smarter than she was.
    Whoever got her pregnant was a child molester, since she had the mind of a child. A very sweet woman, and it was not obvious that she was retarded until you spoke to her, but she should never have borne any children, since she was barely capable of caring for herself.

  4. EpiJunky says:

    Maybe I’m one of the insane ones, but I can’t even imagine sending my eight year old into a pharmacy to pick up my script.
    That just blows my mind that someone would do that.

  5. Totally agree…as I do with most things you write. Love your blog.

  6. Angry Male Nurse says:

    HA!
    That was awesome. I’m speechless.
    I haven’t laughed all day. Thanks you crazy bastard.

  7. KP says:

    Fatsomyalgia… haha thats classic

  8. anonymous says:

    We have people who are middle-aged, ambulatory, and own nice cars who still make us deliver drugs to their house . . . then they aren’t home. Sometimes you’ll see them walking past the front window on their way to the beauty shop next door. But it would be too damn hard to walk the extra 20 feet to our counter after they get their nails done. We’ll just have to make a second and third trip to their house, on our own dime, at their convenience. Then bitch about the $1 welfare copay, of course.

  9. audrey says:

    do you live in south dallas?

  10. Gosh and golly, TAP, I haven’t been out of retail THAT long (1993), and even at the end, I do not recall ANY young child picking up a prescription from me. None. And that’s only 15 years ago. I mean, Bush the First was leaving office. That wasn’t forever ago. I dodged some bullets, fer shur.

  11. Amanda says:

    Some people are so stupid and lazy. For some reason, I am continually surprised by the combination thereof.

  12. http://openid.aol.com/WesOstra says:

    Dood!
    Fatsomyalgia!
    I love it. Sell it to Big Pharma and retire.
    But try to take it easy on the Poor People waiting in the car. They are just trying to finish off their smoke. Making them walk into the store in the middle of a cig is just cruel.
    Your store is probably a tobacco free zone.
    Besides, their new SUV is probably air conditioned. Why do all welfare sponges have a better car than me?
    Peace,
    W

  13. Sean says:

    I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY DRINK!!! FATSOMYALGIA!!!! THAT IS JUST AWESOME!

  14. Jen says:

    “however if I need to talk to you I expect for you to walk your fatsomyalgia ass over to the counter so I can SHOW you what I need to show you…”
    You’re an asshole of the highest order. I can honestly say I hope you suffer from chronic pain someday. And normally I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
    You need to stop obsessing over pill books you buy on amazon to keep up with the latest things and start obsessing over how to be a decent human being.
    Your blog is like a trainwreck though, you don’t want to look but can’t help it.

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