Before I go into a tirade about the population with a chronic Vicodin deficiency, I’ll do some preemptive damage control here.
If you are taking narcotics to treat chronic pain so you can live a normal life, that’s fine. OBVIOUSLY this doesn’t apply to you. Read, and share in the anger towards the people who are ruining it for you. Justifying your position with a 10 page comment is just wasting your time (we don’t really care to be honest).
If you are taking narcotics to get loaded because your life sucks balls and you want to get high, that’s fine too. But know that you’re a fucking addict and I hope your die a slow painful death for ruining it for the legit people. Don’t try to justify your position because you’re a fucking addict and we have tuned out the bullshit lies that come out of your mouth. Yes, I said the Addict word, get used to it. This site is not “politically correct” or “professional”, its Angry and realistic.
Pharmacists don’t think this way about all people, just the ones who make themselves stand out from the crowd. We call these PIA customers, both for Pay In Advance (ever see a legit check from someone who gets nothing but Vicodin/Valium/Soma? I haven’t!) and Pain In the Ass (read on!).
Its a known fact that the moment that a prescription is written for Vicodin and Soma, your IQ drops about 150 points and a black cloud of bad luck ruins your day. Suddenly your checks somehow bounce and you have cash for cigs and a cell phone, but not your copays. You suddenly are prone to leaving your pain pills on the bus, on vacation, in your hotel, in your (now impounded) car, stolen, dropped in the sink, excuse, excuse, excuse. You cannot do simple math, and your stories become so obviously made-up that they should come with a shovel. You call up obviously loaded out of your fucking skull to try and spoon feed us such the nastiest line of fake bullshit in an attempt to get your narcs early. Your entire family seems to suddenly die (which requires you to take twice the amount to “cope”). Half the time I’m not sure if I should just laugh at the bullshit or be embarrassed that you would think I would actually believe that.
I really wish we could speak our minds, and to be honest its getting to a point where we’re going to have to. Leaving your purse on vacation with your narcs in them should be a lesson to keep better track of your shit. If those pain pills were SO important to you, how would you even think of leaving them places (except if this is a crock of shit story, which it usually is). The words “too fucking bad” comes into my head, but I really don’t have the balls to tell a patient this. Usually these patients have small children! Small children! Ban Vicodin and Soma! Think of the children!
However, when you call, and you are so fucking loaded that your slurred speech sounds like another language as you give us this story (that makes no sense) to get your pain pills early; know that I’m going to write on the call-tag to the doctor “Patient requesting early refill. Will have patient call office to explain story”. Almost guaranteed denial right there. Pharmacy – 1, Lying Addict – 0. Lie better next time, don’t act drunk and/or loaded on the phone.
Who really gets fucked out of this deal are the legit pain management people. The people who are on-time, are nice on the phone, who are never early, and who are taking these drugs for the intended purpose. After getting fucked over by 40 addicts, a pharmacist cant help but be initially jaded towards the 1 new legit pain management patient. You may think that we are assholes, but if you shovel shit all day, everything starts to smell like shit after a while. Yeah, it sucks, however pharmacists (if they want to keep their license) are pretty much forced by the addicts to always have their guard up. Addicts fucking lie to get what they want, that’s why are they are addicts and not legit pain management patients. If every red car on the road is being driven by a drunk driver, and you see about 10 accidents every day involving a red car, don’t you think you’ll be leery of every red car on the road? Don’t bitch to us saying we’re “unfair” or “mean”, bitch at the addicts who are ruining it for you.
Plus, some doctors are wimps when it comes to putting their foot down and saying no to early refills. If a doctor tells me “do not fill until <date>”, I have no problem telling some idiot that I can fill it on this day. The crackhead may whine, and bitch, and even cry or call me names, but I don’t really care (it just gives me more to write here!). If the addict calls me more than 2 times regarding this date, I fucking boot them and tell them to go somewhere else. However doctors who are pussy pushovers make it hard for me to do this. Hard to be an asshole when our MD partner is a pansy pushover who caves in to every sob story out there (and believe me, I’ve had stuff auth’d early when the story was so bullshit I almost laughed at them).
But what really twiddles my neither-regions is when a patient goes “out of town”, and you call them at home 3 days into their “trip” and they answer. Holy fucking backpedaling. “Hey, since you didn’t go on your trip, can you bring those narcs you got filled early back to the pharmacy, they are due in a week and it looks like you didn’t go out of town” gives you the response of “uhh, I cant”. Yeah, CANT BECAUSE YOU TOOK THEM ALL ALREADY.
The public makes my soul hurt.
- Paying the PBM’s to service them.
- Im dreaming of a Crackhead Christmas.
- SOMABOTS, TRANSFORM!
- A pharmacist example for non-pharmacists.
- Trying to not kill your patients.
- An open letter to my patients.
- The FDA obviously hates the public and needs to lay off the crack pipe.
- How to make your pharmacy career less painful.