I hate the holidays. I’m serious! Christmas time is the most horrible time for retail pharmacists. Why? The blatant lies, excuses, and just whining to get pain pills early.
Now normally dealing with people who need their stocking stuffed with CIII’s is pretty soul killing, but add on a good dose of holiday cheer and you have a prescription for a bottle of Jack and a nebulizer treatment of 00 buckshot.
I realize that some people do have legit holiday plans and need their stuff filled early. Thats fine. However when you call me on XMAS EVE and demand to have your Soma filled a week early because you are “leaving town for the holidays” and neglect to want all your other medication filled early as well (you know, blood pressure, diabetes, unimportant shit), that really doesn’t work. Whats that saying about a lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part? I should have that tattoo’d on my forehead (since most of my patients think I have the word STUPID tattoo’d on there as well).
Whats even more soul killing is when the patients sit there and say “I didn’t pick up my pain pills a week ago”. I pull the security tape and signature logs, and sure as shit its them. If its not them all I have to do is just mention calling the police and suddenly they realize who picked up their pain pills! AMAZING! I mean really, did they expect me to go “Oh, shit, that wasn’t you, it was a random person off the street who KNEW you had vicodin and soma ready to go HERE that was just called in this morning! Heres a refill plus a stock bottle of soma for your troubles!” Pulling shit like this only makes you look like a fucking addict, and
idiot, or a fucking idiot addict. Thanks for wasting my time, I hope
you OD and die.
(Cue the 100 people who have “legit pain” bitching about how I think everyone is an addict. Heres a tip, unless you prove it to me otherwise; you are, case closed. I’m a big hammer and I pound in nails in all day every day, so everything is a nail to me. Don’t like it? Go to pharmacy school and get lied to for 9 hours a day. Then, after you get burned on a few early refills, thank me for being right. If I were in “your shoes” I wouldn’t call the pharmacy 4 times a day asking when my pain pills are due; I’d be able to divide 90 pills at 3 times a day and make 30 days; and for gods sake I would be an active part in my care and not wait until I’m leaving town to ask for a fucking refill when I know I need a new Rx for that methadone script!)
The holidays are an absolute nightmare, and there isn’t enough gin in the world to fill the void that the unwashed addict masses have caused to my soul.
Merry Xmas and a Watson/QT/Mallinckrodt/Teva/Barr/whoever makes the narcs your crackheads like/etc New Year!
- Paying the PBM’s to service them.
- Im dreaming of a Crackhead Christmas.
- SOMABOTS, TRANSFORM!
- A pharmacist example for non-pharmacists.
- Trying to not kill your patients.
- An open letter to my patients.
- The FDA obviously hates the public and needs to lay off the crack pipe.
- How to make your pharmacy career less painful.
- Cleanup on aisle 4.. now 5… oh damn.