If the Umi City superhero's special powers involve counting and patterns, then Umi City is inhabited by my retarded patients. #teamumizoomy #

How many MD's out there know the diff between CCB's that end in -DIPINE and Verapamil/Diltiazem? I bet about 4, all cardiologists. # Do you even know what -DIPINE even means? # Dont listen to @RxPatrol, locking your C2's in the safe is ticket to a gun pointed to the back of your head with [...]

Some asshole who shall remain nameless was giving me shit about my lack of posts (man, get a book published and you somehow think you’re God or something), so heres another gem for you all. I recently had the pleasure(?) of spending some quality time with a bunch of pre-pharmacy and pharmacy school students a [...]

Oh great, daylight savings time. That mean the crackheads will get their vicodin refill ONE HOUR SOONER. #

Stories related to early vicodin refills should take place much like The Gong Show. One Gong and you're on your way out. # WTF Snookie is pregnant? Man, and I thought my patients failed at life. # If you're a student who is thinking of an EXCITING CAREER in pharmacy, I suggest you start drinking [...]

So, there had better be a fucking party on twitter that I'm missing, because im pissed and have had a shitty week. #

Whoever made the law making facial stabbing with a pen illegal obviously wasn't a pharmacist. #

Pharmacy would be a lot more fun if we were like bartenders where people could buy us shots of vicodin and oxycontin. # Who's vicodin do I need to fill early to get some fucking nachos around here #

Soma Soma on the wall… Who is the most unprofessional one of all….. # A prostate exam by Captain Hook would have a better outcome than work today. # Aruging politics is like watching old people fuck – frustrating and embarrassing for all involved. #

WHY THE FUCK AM I UP SO EARLY. #