14 and pregnant – Warning! Offensive!

This entry is going to piss off some people. You’ve been warned, this is ‘the angry pharmacist(tm)’ and we know that we cant be angry without painting people/society/your mom with an extremely large overbearing brush. I also had a few beers after a long and frustrating day at work, be warned, be very warned. The hatred is flowing like the DrugNazi’s scotch.
You get an Rx for some prenatal vitamins. You pull up the patient by name and 14 year old comes up. You realize “shit, I must have the wrong person”. Then you realize that the 14 year old in front of you is indeed pregnant. The parents stand proudly by as happy as can be. As said before by the DrugNazi, “You turn the dials behind your eyes from stun to kill, but they just wont work” (or something to that extent).
Some of you out there would feel sorry for this poor girl. Some of you would feel happy for this girl. I, for one, think that I’m filling an Rx for the stupidest human on the planet. Why feel sorry for her? Pregnancy isn’t some virus that swoops down like the flu and afflicts people without discrimination. It requires a conscious act between two individuals. Whats even more frustrating is that its not hard to get birth control these days! So the only reason why these kids are getting knocked up is due to laziness!
If someone comes into my store and wants condoms, and says “yanno, do you have any free ones, I really cant afford them” I’d throw them a box right there on the spot. In fact, we have a stock of free condoms that anyone can take that are furnished to us via the county! You just have to ask! Girls (because they aren’t women, they are in fact girls, deal with it) can go to any clinic and get some free birth control. What provider is going to turn down a 14 year old who wants birth control because she is sexually active? One that obviously doesn’t have any foresight of whats going to happen. Even in the age of HIPAA/parental consent police/cover your ass/etc it doesn’t require an Rx or anything for girls to get condoms!
People use the excuse that they are too shy or afraid to ask for these things, they don’t have the transportation to get these, they don’t have an education, they “don’t know better” (whatever the fuck that means), etc. Put that on the very top of the list titled “Not my fucking problem”. These kids should NOT be having sex if they aren’t prepared for the consequences. End of story, write that on my fucking tombstone.
Some girls at 14 might decide that they want a baby. You know, to be a ‘grown up’. They may think they can ‘handle it’ or some bullshit like that. Way to rationalize a big fucking lie. No girl knows what they want at 14. In fact, having a kid at 14 pretty much screws over your chances of doing anything productive with your life. Actually, if you do something productive with your life after having a kid at 14, it means that you weren’t being a good parent and putting your child first!
Lets not leave the guys out of this. They may use the “i’ll be there for you baby” lines, but when the shit hits the fan (or the girl gets incredibly fat during/after pregnancy) we know who’s on the next bus to the nice piece of ass that comes their way. I’d trust a vicodin addict to watch the store while I get some lunch over a 14 year old boy who says he’s going to be a ‘good father’ to his 14 year old baby-momma.
It boggles my mind how a 14 year old can get pregnant. I cant even put myself in their position as to how they would think having sex without being prepared for the consequences would be somewhat of a good idea. Sex is a very well known cause-and-effect thing. Its not like they “didn’t know she was going to get pregnant”. Sorta like using a chainsaw not knowing that it can actually hurt you. Brain + Penis = bu-buy.
Plus the parents, being so proud that their little baby is having a baby of their own. They need to be hit with a 2×4. Maybe they are just delusional, or seeing the silver lining of a very black looming cloud that tore their daughters future limb from limb. I could see if the child was 18, or 19, or 20. Hell, as long as the child is old enough to drive her ass to the pharmacy for her free Tylenol and pediacare. 14? Come on. Look how your daughter is dressed, no wonder why she got knocked up! Seriously, 14 year old girls are not people, they are property. They are property that YOU are responsible for. You may think that your little girl having a baby at 14 is cute and fun, but the huge glaring fact is that your daughter just screwed the pooch in the life department.
So people are going to ask me “Well, say my daughter was stupid and got pregnant. What do you think we should do?”. Obviously murdering your daughter (and the penis she rode in on) is out of the question (heh). This isn’t a place for me to get on a soapbox and spray you all with my political and moral opinions (even though I just sorta did, oops). All I can say to this question is “Do what you have to do to insure that this child (if she decides to have it) gets the best damn upbringing that you can manage and have it turn into a success story, not another unproductive member of society”. Thats not really out of the question is it? That should be what every mother and father years for when they have children. Key word here is “Should”.
Now I realize that there are plenty of success stories from people who had their first child at 14, and I’m sure I’m going to be up to my neck with hate-mail calling me an insensitive asshole. People will question why I am a pharmacist since I’m so full of hatred and bitterness. To those people I want to leave this parting line:
She is 14, she did know what she was doing, and don’t say that it was not her fault because no matter how you slice it, it is. She has every right and power to not have this happen, but she didn’t due to laziness or stupidity. Personal responsibility. Learn to deal with it and keep it in your fucking pants. Just because you like to flush your future down the toilet over an orgasm doesn’t mean you need to leech funds allocated to help people who didn’t have a choice what cards they were dealt in life.
Heaven forbid me to be the personal responsibility police pissing in your cornflakes and telling it like it is.

Comments #

Comment by rph3664 on 2007-09-13 23:14:13 -0700 #

Hate to burst your bubble, but when a 14-year-old is pregnant, the sperm donor is RARELY 14. Most of them are in their late teens at least, and more often in their 20s or older. In other words, the pregnancy was the result of a crime having been committed.
As for kids getting condoms, I volunteered at a free clinic while in school and also did rotations on an Indian reservation and gave condoms to anyone who asked for them, male, female, underage, or adult. Whether they used them for their originally intended purpose, I don’t know but at least they were available.
A few days ago, I was lurking on a men’s rights website and it had a story about a man who took his teenage son to the local family planning clinic when the boy mentioned wanting condoms. The boy said he wasn’t active, but just in case, or if a friend wanted them….you know. Anyway, the clinic would not give them to him unless he was willing to submit to an STD exam! WTF?!?!? They crow about male irresponsibility, but it proves that we women really are our own worst enemies.

Comment by silvermine on 2007-09-13 23:32:05 -0700 #

The parents should be locked up somewhere if they thought this was a good thing and were happy about it…

Comment by Jenn on 2007-09-14 01:03:45 -0700 #

I can’t decide if I’m an Elitist or a Racist, but I gotta ask: Was the pregnant 14 year old Black or a Hillbilly…? My money’s on Hillbilly.

Comment by #1 Dinosaur on 2007-09-14 03:50:35 -0700 #

The answer to the real question you’re asking (“Can they really be that stupid?”) is Yes Indeedy!
Much more offense taken by stupid pregnant teens than by your eloquent rant.

Comment by KarenT on 2007-09-14 05:02:34 -0700 #

How is it that even in this girl’s special pre-natal school program she is unlikely to learn in a serious way that she can do something noble (if very difficult) for her child and retrieve much of her future by choosing adoption? Why do so many people support the inane notion that choosing an intact, stable family to raise your child is evidence that you don’t love the child?
These girls so look forward to those cute little babies who will become too boring or too difficult to bother with before they are two. They share techniques for protecting the young fathers from financial responsibility for the babies. My favorite is declaring on the birth certificate that the father is “unknown”. What is that child going to think when he grows up and finds out that neither his mother nor any of her friends knew who fathered their children?
Dreamy, incomplete success stories about underage mothers having babies are emphasized at her special school. The goal is to get the new 14-year-old mom off welfare as soon as possible by providing her with job skills, along with some basic tips on childcare. That’s the best we can do to prove that we put children first.
Statistically, it is far rarer for a mother of 14 or 15 to choose adoption than it is for a single mother of college age, who has a clear idea of the extra challenges she and her baby would face in the future if she kept the child with no father to help. Could this be partly due to boosterism for younger single mothers in the special pre-natal programs in schools?

Comment by anon on 2007-09-14 05:58:50 -0700 #

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

Comment by fred on 2007-09-14 06:00:46 -0700 #

you know… it was not that long ago that at 14 years old.. you were expected to bear children.
It’s natures design. If it were not, a woman would not be able to get pregnant until her 18th birthday.
blame the parents… blame socitey… blame the educational system.. blame the two kids themselves.. it’s not going to change the way our bodies were created to “be fruitful and multiply”.
Or maybe she was really older but the insurance company had the wrong birthdate in their computers so you had to make her younger in order to get a paid claim… that happens all the time.
I think there is a BIG difference between a pregnant 16 year old and a pregnant 14 year old.
At 16 I had already graduated High School and had a Job to fill the gap before college.

Comment by denise on 2007-09-14 06:12:31 -0700 #

i disagree – i bet SHE didn’t have an orgasm

Comment by NSC on 2007-09-14 07:15:32 -0700 #

Great post – well said. Ignore the trolls.

Comment by Tyler on 2007-09-14 07:51:06 -0700 #

God Damn you’re awesome!!! I agree 100%. Plan B for everyone if I had it my way. How’s that saying go, “Rich people have money, and poor people have children.”
What’s really sad though is when women come into the pharmacy to pick up prenatal vitamins and I have a little note to tell them to stop taking the Birth control they were already on, because they got preggers anyway.

Comment by Alistair Young on 2007-09-14 07:51:18 -0700 #

Well said, sir!

Comment by Tatterdemalian on 2007-09-14 08:09:11 -0700 #

Unintended consequence of the combination of peer pressure and social controls. Sort of like how setting price controls on basic necessities doesn’t protect the public from price gouging, it just makes the supply of necessities vanish, and those with the foresight to stock up on them end up getting to gouge like a monopoly.
In this case, the combination of horny teenage boys, the network of social relationships, and society’s taboo on sexual activity among minors combine to render the girls desperate to get and keep a boyfriend, but unable to give him what he really wants unless she can blame something other than her choices or her boyfriends’. Alcohol is the traditional excuse, but immediate birth control items like condoms are difficult to apply while drunk, and any birth control method that requires planning (birth control pills, IUDs) carry the same social stigma as planning to have sex.
So, the only birth control methods kids can use without being ostracized is ones that fix the problem after the fact, like the sponge or morning after pill. This in turn explains both their immense popularity, and the continuing efforts by concerned parents to have them all banned.

Comment by Cary on 2007-09-14 08:17:41 -0700 #

I agree. Not only is it her fault for making a conscious decision to not protect her future, but also the parents. How do you let your 14 year old daughter get alone and in a situation to have sex? At that age, you can’t go anywhere or do anything without having to ask you parents to take you or for permission.

Comment by tiggy on 2007-09-14 08:45:58 -0700 #

You. I like you.

Comment by DPop on 2007-09-14 09:45:21 -0700 #

We should play “Guess the Race” of the 14 year old…

Comment by Joyce on 2007-09-14 10:03:02 -0700 #

AND I COMPLETELY AGREE!! Rock on buddy!

Comment by Carol on 2007-09-14 11:11:42 -0700 #

And lets not forget the guy. Parents of a pregnant 14 year-old should be hiring a lawyer to get child support out of the no-good…..Hmmm, I’ll stop now…

Comment by 1SG V on 2007-09-14 12:48:45 -0700 #

I’m one in a million (or maybe billion by now.) Both of us were 17 when I “knocked her up.” We got married and I went into the Army eight days later. I worked, she worked at home raising the kids (yeah, had a second one right after, not to smart at the time.) I continued to soldier, as the kids became school aged my wife started college while they were in school (so we never had to put them in daycare.) The amazing thing is that I’m about to retire, the kids are grown up and working/schooling and my son has not knocked anyone up nor has my daughter ever been pregnant. We are also…STILL MARRIED!!! and even better…my wife has her PharmD and is the manager in a retail pharmacy!!! And finally, she complains about the EXACT same stuff as you do, and rightfully so, because it is idiotic to get pregnant while so young, I was there and I know.

Comment by RxDr on 2007-09-14 12:51:03 -0700 #

Yes, a great point was made about the physiology of humans. It wasn’t too long ago (at least in terms on the existance of this planet) that humans only had a lifespan of 32-37 years. If I was living back then, I’d only have 2 more years to be considered the village elder and be dead! It is our society that creates all of the psychological pressure that makes pregnancy at 14, a major taboo and poor prognosis for the mom and child’s future…. But, it is indeed the society that we live in… So despite the physiology of the whole situation, I still find it abhorent that anyone would consider pregnancy at that age to be a ‘good thing’… Just another thing I’ll end up having to pay for with taxes…

Comment by Lamont Cranston on 2007-09-14 13:08:32 -0700 #

Hey, she was ALREADY knocked up. What here her parents supposed to do? Hide her away? Be ashamed?
The “this is going to suck” ride has already left the platform. Time to find something positive about and move on.
Lamont

Comment by Sherry on 2007-09-14 13:24:06 -0700 #

I agree wholeheartedly about most of what you are saying, except 1 thing…we don’t know how this girl became pregnant. Was it stupidity and just sleeping with some guy or was she raped? Maybe her parents are proud because she’s having the baby and putting it up for adoption and they are proud because she is putting another life before her own. I know, I know, probably not but you never know! And since you mention the way she was dressed the parents are probably idiots!

Comment by Radish on 2007-09-14 14:34:52 -0700 #

I don’t think the race of the pregnant kid is interesting, but I would like to know how old the new grandmother was. My money is on “under 35.” Possibly even “under 30.”
Yeah. I’m 32, and I’m old enough to be a grandmother; one of my friends from HS is.

Comment by InternInHell on 2007-09-14 17:14:44 -0700 #

AngryPharmacist, you are my hero.

Comment by Rxvettemaster on 2007-09-14 18:17:06 -0700 #

I’m right behind you on all of that good stuff about responsibility and making good decisions in life.
But I’m gonna be devil’s advocate on one tiny exception you didn’t mention:
What do you do when the 14 year old has been raped? Then she didn’t choose to be a mommy at 14 years old. And she didn’t choose to not be on birth control or use condoms in this situation. I’m not saying your story involved rape but society has to do something positive for kids who end up in this position. And as a professional pharmacist myself I would be more than willing to help/counsel in any way if this were to happen.
But I’d be just as unwilling to listen to excuses if it were anything other than a rape case.

Comment by InternInHell on 2007-09-14 18:37:01 -0700 #

AngryPharmacist, I think I love you.

Comment by rph3664 on 2007-09-14 20:09:57 -0700 #

After reading these comments, my guess is that the girl is white trash, but her baby will be biracial. The white trash thing because they parents are proud to be having a grandchild, and the biracial thing because that’s the way it is. This even happens in rural areas that are otherwise 100% white; how, I don’t know but it does. And the father really WILL be “name unknown” because he gave her a false one, or she has no idea who got her that way in the first place.
I have known women who did know who the father was who declared “father unknown” because identifying him, or even telling him she was ever pregnant, would cause more problems than a child support check of any size would solve. For the most part, this is a huge reason why there are so many children in foster care. I’m not sorry this provision exists, mainly to protect rape victims.
You should go to http://www.allnurses.com and read some of the stories on THOSE message boards.

Comment by AzRN on 2007-09-14 23:25:38 -0700 #

Cary-
Kids are having sex in the bathroom at high school.

Comment by Sam on 2007-09-15 02:01:53 -0700 #

Killing your 14 year-old daughter may not be an option, but killing the penis she rode in on is.

Comment by been there on 2007-09-15 05:11:14 -0700 #

Amost 40 years ago, when I was working in a public family plaaning clinic, a friend and co-worker had a 15-year-old patient who wanted not the pill, but infertiliy treatment. It seems that she and her boyfriend had been trying for a year to have a baby.
I know exactly where your anger comes from.

Comment by Kaymad on 2007-09-15 12:25:57 -0700 #

“Baby-Mama”, the most annoying slang term of all time.
I’ve noticed this trend in the African-American community. A family across the street are African American. The parents have been married forever. Their oldest daughter was a senior last year. She was a straight A student, track star, on her way to university on scholorship. That is, until she got knocked up. She just had the baby several days ago and instead of attending Freshman rush and worrying about balancing grades and track practice; she is getting up several times a night to feed a baby and change diapers. Does she know what she’s missing??? She could have had a baby eventually. She’ll never be able to go to college, live in a dorm and have those type of experiences. Ever. Sure, she can take college classes, work and raise her baby. Bet she won’t though.

Comment by Rich Rostrom on 2007-09-15 15:27:33 -0700 #

I’m as angry as you at the parents and the guy, but not quite as angry at the girl. She’s 14, which means she’s a dumb kid. Dumb kids do dumb things. Adults have to protect children from their ignorance and foolishness.
At the same time – sentimentality about motherhood should not blind us to the folly of conception by women who are unfit or unable to raise a child.

Comment by Vicki Small on 2007-09-15 18:01:33 -0700 #

I did my student teaching in a high school and subsequently taught in the local community college. One of my (HS) sophomore students learned early in the semester that she was pregnant, then later said she had aborted it. But she did keep getting pudgier…. I wondered what she was really going to do with the baby. I also thought it sad that, if she had decided against aborting and in favor of, say, adoption, she kept that quiet. Abortion, she could talk about, though.
A college freshman wrote her first essay (a personal essay) about how her older, “wiser” sister had convinced her that having an abortion was the only sensible, and the “most mature,” decision she could make, and her Catholic parents need never know. Think of the anguish she had spared them (hint: sarcasm)! I thought of how their hearts would break if they ever learned their teenaged daughter had not only been sexually active, but had killed their first grandchild. I think she had another abortion during the term, because she was consistently late to class, until I told her that had to stop; she assured me she had taken care of “it.”
I still get angry when I think about all the essays I read along those same lines, until I banned the topic. The concept of personal responsibility and the ability to imagine ever feeling any differently about this wonderful “choice” are just lost on too many people–of almost any age.

Comment by Longhorn Daniel on 2007-09-15 22:07:10 -0700 #

I’m not stupid enough to absolve the parents and children from responsibility here, , but I feel the values of our society should draw some more mentioning(not blame though).
I didn’t know the 1st thing about sex until the 5th grade, but by 7th grade I knew it was something I had to do, and by 10th grade I did it. Watch movies and music videos, listen to music, read magazine, etc and everywhere you look it’s sex sex sex. You have all these kids running around not knowing what the hell sex is thinking it’s something they absolutely need.
The 1st time I had sex I was so friggin excited leading up to it, and I wound up being dissapointed. My subsequent experiences over the years have lead me to believe 13 and 14 year olds aren’t meant have sex, but again, they live in a society where they’re constantly exposed to sex and it’s glamourization.
That being said, I still believe the blame rests solely on the particpating parties and their parents. Excited children and proud parents aren’t the rule, but they aren’t the exception either. How can a kid be excited when they’re childhood(greatest time in your life) has been cut short, and how can parents be proud when their children have probably done major damage to their future????

Comment by David Kutzler on 2007-09-16 00:45:03 -0700 #

I’m a certified nurse-midwife. The youngest patient I ever delivered was a twelve-year-old, when I was a US Public Health Service Corps Officer fighting the last scirmishes of Lyndon Johnson’s War on Poverty in Appalachia in the early 1980s.
She was dumber than a bag of hammers, but she was smart enough to work the welfare system. She proudly told me that she deliberately got pregnant to get out from under the thumb of her hated step-mother. She instantly became an emancipated minor, and the AFDC check, subsidized rent and utilities, and food stamps set her up in her own apartment. She was in White-Trash Heaven.

Comment by JustMe on 2007-09-16 09:50:26 -0700 #

Race has nothing to do with it. I really wish people would stop assuming one race is more at fault in teen pregnancy than another – it just underscores your own ignorance.
Parents should be telling their kids about sex by 5th grade. Sorry, after that, if you haven’t, their school chums will. I really hope my kids wait until they are married, to avoid a whole host of “problems”, but I am a realist. And my kids safety and health comes first. So we will therefore be explaining not only how the body works, but the kinds of pressures they will face, and practicing various responses.
Beyond that, we will also be explaining how to use birth control, and to protect oneself from STDs. Because that is thte world we live in, and burying your head in the sand only lets the buggers destroy your kids when you aren’t watching.

Comment by AngryNatalie on 2007-09-16 11:41:44 -0700 #

is it wrong that i thought the best part of that entry was “the angry pharmacist(tm).” hahaha
but seriously, i have had this happen to me. not 14, but 13 years old. THIRTEEN. i only found out because her mother came in with rxs saying her daughter just had a baby; i pull up the profile and its for a newly-turned-14-year-old. as in, she got pregnant and had a child when she was 13. HOW THE FUCK??? i dont think i even knew where everything went when i was 13. think back…7th/8th grade? what? the fuck?
well i guess if the state paid for everything i’d get pregnant too.
i knew a girl in HS that had had at least 2 abortions.
and on that note, let me just do another rant if i may….
i rang out a couple for a plan B a weekend or so ago, and the guy says “wow, they’re only $20 at planned parenthood…” yeah…eyes, kill, stun…thats what i felt. ABHSJKDFHSJ spend the goddamn $3 on a 3-pack of condoms or for free at planned parenthood! or fuck, i’d give you the leftover ones i havent used since my last boyfriend. i just feel like including a free pack of condoms with every plan B, or a free pack of necon or something. not that i’m against selling plan B, because i’m not. you never know the situation, or if the condom had broken or whatever. but when you say something that leads you to believe that this isnt the first time their getting plan B…ahhh. so, since they’ve at least gotten 1 from planned parenthood at $20 a pop, and 1 from here at $40…that’s $60…as opposed to the giant 96-pack of condoms (or whatever) for $12.99. you cant afford cheap/free condoms or b/c from planned parenthood but you wanna shell out $60 fucking dollars on plan B? i work, and even i couldnt afford to use plan B as birth control!
i dont know where i was going with all this, but i’m a very angry person. and since its only 2pm on a sunday..and i’m at work…i can’t join in on the scotch festivities…or can i…?

Comment by Missyb on 2007-09-16 18:52:40 -0700 #

OMG… this post is perfect! Keep ranting, please! We have these talks with both the older teens in our family all the time. They know that we’ll never buy the “accident” theory and we’ve had some very honest discussions about what they feel their parameters are. We feel reasonably sure that our girls will be okay, but we are the exception. They both tell us that most of their friends parents do not have these conversations with their kids. Pretending it isn’t happening isn’t a solution for teen sex… wake up parents. We can talk abstinence all we want, but we better damned well make sure that we’ve also prepared them in case they change their minds about that in a fit of passion/craziness!

Comment by ElvenPhoenix on 2007-09-16 20:13:03 -0700 #

One of my friends at work has a daughter that was raped at the age of eleven – the boy was fifteen. At thirteen she started sneaking out of the house to be with the same boy and got pregnant – and was a mother by the age of fourteen.
The parents tried to do the right thing, tried to fight through the legal system – but the prosecutors decided not to prosecute the sixteen year old who raped an eleven year old girl – then not to prosecute the same EIGHTEEN year old who knocked up the thirteen year old girl two years later. The boy was Hispanic and the girl is Caucasian.
On the upside, the two are still a couple and are planning on getting married in February, when the baby is two. But still…if the authorities had actually done something when the girl was eleven maybe things would be different for her today.
Also, my cousin at the age of eighteen knocked up a fourteen year old girl with her parent’s collusion – for some reason they thought that they could get a monetary settlement out of my parents, since my cousin was living with us at the time.
You have to wonder about some people…

Comment by Ribeye of your Dreams on 2007-09-17 04:03:13 -0700 #

I’ve actually had a 12 year old pregnant girl come into my job with her family, and she was all kinds of happy. I wait tables, and have a bit of a nosy streak to me, so i naturally asked about it. She said that it was none of my business, she was just as much an adult as anyone else. I just walked away.

Comment by rph3664 on 2007-09-17 18:03:52 -0700 #

I work in a hospital, and one of my colleagues does relief work in a nearby college town. He said the Planned Parenthood affiliate there writes for Plan B with 11 refills, which he has a real problem with since the unspoken intent is that it’s going to be used as birth control.
Not what it was meant for, IMHO.

Comment by rph3664 on 2007-09-18 10:33:09 -0700 #

Kaymad, my old neighbors, who are white, saw their oldest daughter graduate from high school a few years ago on the honor roll. Very few people outside her family or her boyfriend’s family knew she was 4 months pregnant. When her condition became known, she was very upfront that she DID NOT want to have an abortion (she was already 18) and her parents said that wasn’t their decision.
They broke up before the baby was born but he did stay involved until she married another man a few years later, and the stepfather adopted the child. I don’t know the whole story.
Her parents were more disappointed than angry; her dad would make jokes about inviting the boyfriend to go hunting with him, shooting him, and saying it was an accident. I told him that wasn’t funny, and if anything did happen to this guy, he would be the prime suspect. The daughter admitted herself that she wasn’t raped!
I also told her parents, “You should come to work with me sometime and see the girls who usually do this.” Case in point: A 16-year-old girl was picking up her vitamins, and a friend sneaked up behind her, said, “Hey prego!” and whacked her with her own belly. My very pregnant married tech and I did not find that funny either.
Last I heard, this young woman had completed 2 years of college, but she already had a semester of credits when she graduated.
BTW, she did not have to tell her parents she was pregnant. They asked her after she threw up her supper three evening in a row.

Comment by LD/50 Rat on 2007-09-18 20:16:02 -0700 #

I guess be grateful the little moron is actually taking care of herself. Could be out doing meth and etoh, and shows up in the ER with “stomach cramps” around 9 months.
As for 14 year old girls getting preggers, that does not suprise me. Our unit had a 13 year old with pelvic inflammatory so bad, the OB/GYN said she’d probably never have kids from the scarring. No, PID girl was not ghetto trash, but had two parents (married), and were lawyers.
Go figure…..

Comment by MysteryTech on 2007-09-19 00:32:34 -0700 #

my parents were too embarrased to ever have “the talk” with me as a youth. i started having sex at 17 with my steady, monogamous boyfriend. we ALWAYS used a condom, even the first time. we later got married and have been together for ten years and have never once had a pregnancy scare. after i started work as a pharmacy tech at 20 and had insurance i started on The Pill. condoms, the pill, what ever, they’re not difficult and they work. even with hardly any knowledge about them, we figured it out. why can’t these other kids do the same? blows my mind.

Comment by rph3664 on 2007-09-19 22:03:02 -0700 #

I’ve heard this story so many times, it’s probably urban legend, but it’s this: Back in the days when people had to name their contacts when diagnosed with any STD, there was the 13-year-old girl who named 36 contacts – and this was in the early 1950s.
Thing is, it probably really did happen somewhere.
My grandmother was 16 when she got pregnant with my dad in 1932. Everyone thinks that never happened back then – baloney.
When my mom was in 10th grade circa 1950, a girl in her class of about 40 appeared at first to be getting fat, but by the time school let out, it was quite obvious that she was pregnant. She lived on a subsistence farm outside town, and when school resumed, she wasn’t there. She showed up a few weeks later, explaining that her mother had given birth and she had to help her care for the baby. Everyone knew otherwise, but yes, the grandmother passed the baby off as her own.
Until the 1970s, it was not uncommon for girls to marry in their mid-teens, even if they weren’t pregnant, and quite often, this was to escape an abusive home life, and many of them had several children before they were 20 years old. Most of these marriages were disastrous; boys in this situation were more likely to join the military.
A therapist I once knew did her master’s thesis on “Sexuality in the 60s: Revolution or Revelation?” and it concerned things like old family Bibles were people got married and had a baby 6 months later, that sort of thing.
None of this is anything new.

Comment by MrIncognito on 2007-09-26 20:05:52 -0700 #

I’m calling bullshit on this whole thread.
The average age of menarche has undergone a pretty significant change over the last 150 years. Most estimates place the average age in 1950 at around 16 years.
Our expectations on education have also exploded. 26% of the adult female population in the US has a 4-year college degree, which represents 17 years of schooling. High school graduation rates hover around 90%, a feat only accomplished by 6% of our population in 1940.
In short, over the course of a single generation, we’re expecting people to delay pregnancy longer while expectations how achievement have grown by an order of magnitude.
I understand the sinking feeling when confronted with a pregnant teen. She was stupid, and her parents are probably morons too, but welcome to the human race. We’re 95% retarded, and that includes all of us posting here. I’m all for tearing apart drug reps and other idiots for good reason, but picking on the 14 year old girl is pretty lame.

Comment by Marc B. on 2007-09-29 18:10:13 -0700 #

I have to say its really is sad to see people so young throwing their lives away because its cool to have a baby or having sex with your twenty something boyfriend when the girl is still barely a teen. All I can remember is my uncle, who was an opthamologist for 30+ years, telling be about when he was doing rotations in medical school in St. Louis in the early to mid sixties and broke down crying after he saw a 12 year old and a 13 year old give birth in the ER and he had helped in the deliveries. And I still think its happening today, as sad as it is.

Comment by jamie on 2007-10-25 09:10:54 -0700 #

your fucken dumb.dont just go around judging people.it was a mistake.get the fuck over is asshole.serioulsy.half these comments people wrote you are guys! im 16 and am pregnant.my mom is helpingme out too.and so is my boyfriend and his parents.great job.still in school.worry about your own fucken shit asshole.and quit worrying about eveyone elses

Comment by Amanda on 2007-11-07 21:48:25 -0800 #

AMEN to that. I’m 22 and know I’m no where near ready to have kids, and wouldn’t be able to give them what they need. Let alone being 14 and having to do it.
I went to school with a girl that had two kids before she graduated… and I can’t believe her parents didn’t kill her.

Comment by ee-nuh on 2007-11-16 22:49:32 -0800 #

heh. i sold some plan B to some guy in the drive thru and when i told him it was 46.99, he said “shit, it’s that expensive?” i just stared back at him for a minute. the silence got awkward so i chimed in …”well are you gonna get it or what?” cause you could save 50 bucks today and instead use it for 3 days worth of diapers

Comment by Kelsey on 2008-01-20 04:00:14 -0800 #

This is shit. You don’t know how the girl got pregnant, for all you know she could have been raped.
I am 23, and I have a 12 year old daughter. I was raped at 11, and got pregnant. How do you know this didn’t happen to this girl?

Comment by uhuh on 2008-01-30 01:55:30 -0800 #

my classmate was pregnant at the age of 14…her bf was also 14

Comment by savannah on 2008-02-04 20:38:22 -0800 #

im 14 i have 3 kids and i think all of you are dumbasses as some people said you dont know how they got pregnant they couldve been raped condom mightve broke or they were on birth control and it didnt work!they might think there ready to have a baby and take on the responsibility if so good for them! as i said im 14 i have 3 kids im still in school and i have job i know i was irresponsible by getting pregnant but know im taking on the responsibility and supporting my family.

Comment by chelsea on 2008-02-18 16:54:40 -0800 #

this 14 yr. old WOMAN is not stupid or anything. 14 yr old girls have desires and wants too. and her parents.. what are they supossed to do be mad at her the rest of her god willing life??
huh? well if i had a daughter and she got pregnant at 14, i apsolutley know i would be very upset and disapointed but i wouldn’t show it around other people. and you would forgive ur daughter if that happened and you know it!
people make mistakes wheather they mean to or not they are just PEOPLE not PROPERTY. and you have prob made a mistake too. plus why is it any of ur business if she wants to have sex and gets pregnant. its not ur life so why don’t you just but the fuck out of her business and worry about yourself.
F.Y.I – when a girl first gets a period they turn into a woman. smarty.

Comment by [email protected] on 2008-02-19 01:54:01 -0800 #

I am 14 and pregnant I made a simple mistake it pisses me off cause people get on here and judge young girls when ya’ll do just as much as us I’m not saying I’m grown cause I got a baby coming no I am a 14 year old girl who should be doing 14 year old things but I never not even in my right mind would I get an abortion that child didn’t do anything I think if a teenager gets pregnant it begins to be up to them if they want that baby or not it doesn’t mean closed minded people like you should make a site or whatever this is about your judgemental thoughts you aren’t God mister stop playing his part and get a life go put your drugs on the shelf and leave teens alone perverted bastard you have no right to say who we are or what we are 2 middle fingers way up now shut up bitch and garggle and if you cant do that that shut up bitch swallow ya digg keep ya mouth shut peace=]

Comment by StephTheIntern on 2008-02-19 15:38:43 -0800 #

First of all, I completely agree with the angry pharmacist on this one. Once a young girl gets pregnant and asks the tax payers to pay for her child-rearing expenses, she has made it EVERYBODY’S business.
Second of all, those of you “pregnant 14 year-old girls” who are posting comments on here, please, please, please learn how to spell, write in complete sentences, and put periods at the end of all your sentences. This especially goes to Bella, the gal who posted before me. I’m not exactly sure what “shut up bitch swallow ya digg” means… maybe it’s the ignorance talking.

Comment by limari on 2008-02-19 21:43:14 -0800 #

Maybe someone should tell bella ^above^, that a baby isn’t “a simple mistake”. It’s a human being who won’t be a cute little rosebud for long. Before you know it, your baby will be a 14 year old snot just like you, and will probably end up going down the same road as his/her mama’s ignorant ass.
Almost every one of the girls my 22 year-old daughter went to high school with has a baby or is pregnant. Their lives are forever changed. My daughter is thankful that she’s not one of them…that she never made that “mistake”.
Hey…she’s actually PROUD that she’s never been pregnant, and doesn’t intend to be for a long time. She works, has her own health ins., with which she purchases her own BC pills. She’s RESPONSIBLE. And in this day and age, that’s a rarity.

Comment by Raeyna on 2008-03-26 17:04:46 -0700 #

Hmmm, I see your point about the girl being pregnant at fourteen. It’s something no girl would want because they are just or going through puberty. But, have you looked at it from their side? Yeah, she shouldn’t have been having sex, but maybe she was pressured or, God forbid, raped. I do see your point, but you cannot be so harsh because that will only make them retaliate and do something worse.
The parents being proud is very….stupid. Why would they be proud that their daughter is going to be a mother before turning sixteen? Adults can be the stupid ones sometimes, but as teenagers grow they make mistakes that they can learn from. That one is a huge one that will be a bad thing at first, but eventually, they’ll grow up even more.

Comment by rph3664 on 2008-03-26 21:54:30 -0700 #

And, Limari, I get the impression that all your daughter’s friends’ babies were sired by the most worthless men they could find?

Comment by I know pharmacy begins with a p not an f on 2008-04-01 02:56:19 -0700 #

I am completely at a loss to have discovered just how callus and offensive many of you so called Pharmacist and health care providers are when it comes to the subject of teenage pregnancies.
Over the past 11 years that I have worked in pharmacy I have witnessed many young mothers. They stand out because I had a child at 16. Whilst I will not bore you with my details I will tell you this, I have continued to work since giving birth to my son, I am a mature age student, I have married the father of my child who by the way is in his last year of a law degree and I have more money in the bank then many pharmacist I know and no I did not make it by selling illegal drugs. More importantly, both my partner and I have always and will always devote endless time and energy in bring up and supporting our son. I see many parents that are older than me and have no idea as to how to raise their children. The last thing someone in my position needs is to be judged by these older parents and to an even further extent society as a whole.
Whilst I see the point that most of you are trying to make and in many ways I agree with you I despise the fact that you may easily pigeon hole every single teenage mother based on your preconceived concepts which revolve around them being uneducated, stupid, welfare dependent and worthless. I certainly hope these attitudes do not govern the way you council these young women or you may be in for one big shock…

Comment by PeterA on 2009-05-23 10:13:49 -0700 #

So who be da Baby Daddy?

The fact that you know exactly what this means illustrates the point.

Comment by The Girl Who Runs The Pharmacy on 2009-05-27 20:15:00 -0700 #

Well, that child is screwed. Mommy can’t even piece together a coherent sentence. Give that child up for adoption to a mature family so he/she doesn’t end up robbing me in 15 years.

Comment by BeckytheTechie on 2009-05-27 23:13:33 -0700 #

About a year ago, I became unexpectedly pregnant, and within a week of realizing it I had to choose between a D&C and possibly bleeding to death. I chose the former (obviously). The most striking thing about that day was the girl who had her procedure immediately following mine: if she was 13 years old, I’m a 40 year old virgin. Her grandmother brought her to the doctor’s office, where she sat near the window and tried to read Teen magazine, but had a hard time with most of the words in it. Occasionally I heard her ask a question like “Will it hurt?” and all Grandma said was “I don’t know baby. But you’ll be okay.” In recovery, she threw up and cried herself to sleep, holding the pillow like a stuffed animal. I was so tempted to go sit with her and tell her that I was proud of her for making a good choice for herself, even if she’d made a bad one before. I can’t wrap my head around trying to take that responsibility at 13 years old, and for some families to be *proud*? Sorry, no. Any idiot can *make* a life; it takes a far greater person to help that life form turn into a respectable, responsible human being, and if state aid is part of how that happens, I really feel it shouldn’t be so for long.

Comment by TechJess on 2009-05-31 12:34:27 -0700 #

So true…our family found out that my great-great aunt was actually just my great-aunt when it was revealed that she wasn’t my great-grandmother’s sister, but in reality was her daughter!. My grandma never knew that her “Aunt Edith” was actually her sister until my great-grandmother was on her death bed.

Comment by TechJess on 2009-05-31 12:39:39 -0700 #

You are the exception…not the rule. Good for you for working to keep a relationship together and for being the best mother you can be.

Comment by 911Truth on 2010-01-07 23:16:35 -0800 #

A damn good blog. I’m sick of people today, regardless of age, not taking personal responsibility. This attitude of being able to do anything without consequences has royally fucked up our society, but what’s worse is that authority, be it parents or government, allows it and even encourages it. I’ll throw a little more heat in there; hey, all you stupid nympho sluts, you can rub one out and not get pregnant, and if you’re too caught up in your own selfish need to fuck just cause you wanna blow a orgasm, wear a god damn condom! LAZY is right; ANYONE can get condoms ANYTIME they want – there is no pathetic bullshit excuse rational enough to excuse your stupidity or laziness – incompetency might be your only saving grace, and on that note, you shouldn’t be allowed to breed anyway. STOP BEING A WALKING LUBE STATION.

Comment by Mary on 2011-11-09 19:13:42 -0800 #

Shocked, disappointed, heartsick, ashamed, embarrased; these are just a few of the feelings we have and are dealing with since learning that our 14 year old granddaughter is pregnant. She was stupid. I blame her!!! She got pregnant on her 14th birthday, which means she will give birth before she is 15. Our son, her father, is not in her life. I blame her father!!! We have tried to fillthatgapin her life, but it is impossible. We don’t live in the same city. Her mother works long hours and allowed her to have this boyfriend (a son of family friends) when she was 12 and he was 15. I blame her mother!!! She was left alone too much. He snuck out of his house and into hers! He disrepected her by not protecting her and himself. He is 17 and she is 14, I blame him!!! We can cast blame on everyone but the fact is an innocent child is on the way. She did not tell her mother until she was more than 12 weeks pregnant and she wants to keep their baby. They love each other and want to be together as a family. I believe it is because neither of them have ever had a stable family life. They are young, naive and scared to death! Whatcan we do but be supportive of them. None of us has means to help them monetarily but we can be supportive and not ridicule or persecute them. They face enough hardships. Perhaps you were mistaken in your observation, maybe her parents were just being “supportive”. I’m certain they were not “Proud”.

Comment by Mary on 2011-11-09 19:20:09 -0800 #

They were probably just being supportive. I seriously doubt they were “proud”.

Comment by Mary on 2011-11-09 19:23:53 -0800 #

Do you honestly believe that 14 year old, white, God-fearing, “city” girls don’t get pregnant?!?!? I can introduce you to one.