Swimming in the Porcelain Pool

I get a lot of drug ad crap in the mail, but once in a while one really attracts my attention in a real ‘WTF were they thinking’ way.

Take Exhibit A:

Why is my mouth open when I have to poop in a pool?!?

Now Miralax is like Metamucil, it makes you poop.  Now I’m not sure what floats your boat, but if I were constipated and needed something to soften my food-baby, the LAST place I would want to be in swimming in a pool with my mouth open when the brown tide decides to come in.  Is the woman supposed to represent a poop floating in the water?  How does swimming in a pool go with constipation?  Maybe if her skin were dissolving in the water it would be more along the lines of the ‘osmotic effect’.  Maybe the force of the poop is propelling her through the water?  Should the water be going IN her butt?  I took it upon myself with my awesome drawing skills to make this ad more realistic:

Remember kids, when you’re straining like a puppy pooping peach stones, grab your Miralax and head over to the local pool, because nothing gets your bowels moving like an osmotic effect on both sides of the ole turd-cutter.

21 thoughts on “Swimming in the Porcelain Pool”

  1. Was kinda hoping to see a rant on the CVS sales at all cost juggernaut ignoring the PITA pseudophed sales regs in CA & NV. Love the site keep up the anger. And yes that ad is absolutely blissfully stupid. Prob look a lot cooler if you’re constipated from the OC imprint- cause my MD said I need the originals.

  2. Aww I wish we didn’t throw our copy of that ad away. One of my fellow techs took a red sharpie and made it look like blood was coming out of her mouth (and ass). I’m going to have to show him your lovely artwork today 😀

  3. Sorry, too busy looking at her “cans” to even care or read the ad’s caption. Huh, Miralax, I’ve heard of it … maybe you’re supposed to dissolve a capful in 50,000 gallons of pool water before you drink it.

  4. What about the new ad for the new combination oral contraceptive Natazia. The title ad says “introduce her to a new COC” Myabe it just takes a guy to see the humor in that one.

    1. Especially funny since Natazia is usually a girl’s name! Maybe it’s a tranny with a girl’s name, by chance?

  5. There wasn’t any meaningfulness in the ad, just what the low-cost budget ad agency could get away with in a provocative photo for a single photo shoot ad that could be placed in magazines such as US Pharmacist, Pharmacy Times, JAMA, Lancet, Time, Playboy and Seventeen. Hit ’em all at the same time with the one ad. An attempt at providing PG-13 rated photo of a woman showing as much could be shown without showing everything, in a pinkberry Miralax bottle-colored top, no less. (Hey, we had to take designing drug ads in p’cog, too.)

    By the way, Pfizer and Time magazine got my earful when they ran an extremely detailed Viagra-type ad on one of the first pages. Kids read Time all the time and they don’t need to be seeing how much of a problem with erections older gigolos have.

  6. I hope that Purdue Pharma puts ads with coupons in Kentucky and Tennessee issues of “Progressive farmer” Pentacostal Today” and Boys Life and directs them to your desk!

  7. Like so many sample package/coupon packs patients bring in. How many of these things seem to say “take our drug and it’ll fix your life”?

  8. Excellent points made. I, too, enjoy the great advertising some drug companies are doing lately. I didn’t know taking a tab to get an erection is similar to sitting in a tub near a cliff… Or just thinking I’m healthy doesn’t spare me from a getting a coronary. Or how the side effects are stated like your checking off grocery list – May cause anal discharge (check), may cause liver or kidney damage (check), if your erection lasts longer than four hours, your penis may fall off (check)… I wonder how someone can get on board with an advertising agency…

  9. I love you angry pharmacist–you really make me laugh. In fact I’ve been laughing so hard I’m crying! I will forever remember this when I jump into my backyard pool next summer.

  10. Great use of yet another otherwise useless drug ad… In a not related topic, I love getting this kind of phone call from our druggie friends out there…Uhhhh… do you guys have any of the generic “Oxy-Cottin” that has “OC” on the tablet? Uhhhh, my doc says those are the only ones I can take for my “Low Back Pain”. My script is for #120 tabs. Do you guys have those? My resopnse: NO! We don’t have any “OC’s”, go find something else to crush up and smoke, MORON!!! 🙂

  11. You are awesome! What do you think when a customer comes to the counter talking on their cellphone and expects to waited on immediatley

  12. How about the recent ad we received for O-Cal prenatal vitamins? If you haven’t seen it then get your hands on one. It says, “Doctor I don’t want to have an ugly baby!” and the idea is that if you take O-cal then your baby will be effing gorgeous! NOT TRUE! My fave is also the photo of the perfect baby labeled “O-Cal” and then two other babies labeled as other generic brands. Imagine the horrible complex that those parents who donated a photo or the child who recognizes it later on will experience. It gets me laughing every time.

  13. You spent all that money going to school knowing you were going to have to deal with some illiterate idiots.Maybe you need to go back to be a psychiatrist to help yourself because i’m not a Doctor and can dirgnose you. You are as Bipolar as they come. Get on some nedication for that and you may be able to deal with people. I know how it is because i’m Bipolar and have the same symptoms you do. I dont like to be around people myself. You don’t need a job working with the public until you get your ownself diagnosed properly. You dumb ass!!!!!

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