The wonderful world of drug handouts

Once in a while, you’ll get a patient handout for a drug that just cant help but make you laugh. Patient handouts are meant so even the village idiot can get their meanings. Lets take a look at Xeloda’s patient information sheet and angrypharmacistize(tm) it.
STOP TAKING XELODA IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY OF THESE SIDE EFFECTS
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Your tech starts giving you lip.

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You start to have conversations with your poop.

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You decide to only communicate with your tech using the universal pimp-slap.

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You decide to take a poop without pulling up your nightgown.

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You can only poop in your nightgown under the moonlight.

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You kick all the crackheads out of your store.. Literally.

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You grow an evil villan mustache

For Sale: WellCare, gently used, only $5

This post should of been titled “Putting the ‘oh shit someone told on us’ in WellCare”
See what happens when you cross The Angry Pharmacist ™? You get raided by the FBI, your stock tanks like a post-thanksgiving turd, your exec’s abandon ship and put their business on CraigsList, and Pharmacists everywhere are digging your grave. Remember that.
On a more serious note, if you have lived in a barn the past week, Wellcare (the one we all know and love) got raided by the FBI/Government/Granny/etc. Their stock promptly went from $130 to ~$27. Dont believe me? Click here.
Why did Wellcare get raided? Well, people aren’t saying much. I read somewhere on that yahoo link (that I cant seem to find the article now, interesting) that they were misrepresenting their earnings, especially when dealing with officials in charge of reimbursement (meaning OUR reimbursements probably). Something about contracts with an off-shore business or something to lower their overall profits. For some reason actually making a profit of 49% higher than reported rings a bell somewhere in my head.
What does this all mean? That the “Fair” reimbursement we have been getting of way too low like cost+$1.50 is bullshit. Wellcare obviously was rolling in the dough, so why couldn’t they up our reimbursements? Oh, because they were funneling their money around so their company looked less profitable thereby giving them an excuse to fuck over the pharmacies and our shitty reimbursements. “We cannot afford to reimburse you more” they spew as they light their cigars with fresh $100’s.
Since Wellcare’s crap-ass reimbursements were just in jive with the other big-hitters of the Medicare Part D crew, I wonder how many exec’s of the other big Medicare Part D providers (Caremark, etc) are currently forging their books expected to be investigated next? Are the Exec’s cleaning the turd stains out of the boxers bought with their $400,000/yr salary? Are we magically going to see new contracts appear in our fax machines with higher reimbursements? God I hope so.
Stockholders are suing. I would sue too if I had my retirement invested i Satan at $130/share to barf down to low 20’s. I wonder how long until the pharmacies class-action WellCare’s ass over reimbursement rates generated from an incorrect profit statement (not just a little 2% incorrect, but probably ~40% incorrect, whoops). We can only hope. You can be sure that I’ll have more commentary as the info comes rolling in.
Happy 1st everyone. I hope your day wasn’t as shitty as mine.