A really frustrating part about retail pharmacy is that everything seems to be “my problem”. Now I went to college for 7 years, got my PharmD, yadda yadda yadda. I know about drugs. I am trained in drugs. Ask me about a drug and I will tell you everything you need to know about it.
- I am not your fucking insurance agent. I don’t know how much your fucking deductible is because ITS NOT MY INSURANCE. I can guess, but its only that, a guess. Its YOUR job to know about your insurance, not MINE. If YOU dont understand something, talk to your insurance company; not your pharmacist.
- I am not the keeper of your insurance card. If you go to the store and want to buy something but don’t have your credit card, do you ask the salesperson to call VISA and ask for your credit card number so they can finish the transaction? NO. Keep your fucking card on you, and when you get a new one don’t make me fucking ask you 100 times for it before you say “Oh! Yeah! I got this new insurance card last month”.
- I am not the welfare office. If you bitch about your $3.10 copay and whine how the government hates the poor, let me charge you the fucking cash price of $150 and see how much you fucking whine. All the welfare programs have done is create a bunch of fucking ungrateful bastards who think the F in Pharmacy stands for FREE.
- I’m not your mother. If your medication got lost/stolen/etc its YOUR job to call the doctor to explain how you are not a fucking addict, not MINE. If I call I’m going to say “Yeah, he/she lost his medicine. He told me a story but to be honest I wasn’t paying attention.” Keep your pills where you can find them, and if you lose them expect to pay cash for the replacements. Insurance companies do not pay the copay on stupidity.
- I am not a drug company rep. You can whine to me day in and day out how pricey the medication is in this country, then turn right around and ask me to sign something on a class action lawsuit over Avandia or Vioxx or something. You know why medication costs so much in this country? Stupid bastards who sue over side effects inflicted from taking a controlled poison. Lets sue Clorox because my kid drank bleach and died.
- And last but not least. I am not your fucking personal bitch. I am here to help you, and will do so with a smile on my face, but I am not your bitch. I am your pharmacist, and if you treat me like your child or someone you think you can just boss around I am going to pee in your promethazine with codeine and shit on your Soma. Treat me with respect and you will get the same in return. Treat me like shit and you’ll be waiting 4 hours for your Rx’s at the Walgreens down the road.