So, it has come to my attention (a few days ago) that Airborne must pay 25 million due to a lawsuit claiming that it didn’t work.
Some highlights include:
- Airborne not proven to work
- The “clinical study” was preformed by a couple of random dillholes and probably was just made up
- If you purchased airborne, you can get a refund
- Making medical claims without FDA approval
Now, I know that any self-respected pharmacist would never ever suggest airborne to anyone that they cared about. Why? Because it doesn’t work. We all know this, you all know this. Its vitamin-C and a bunch of other OTC shit all in a fizzy alka-selzer tablet that makes you feel all warm inside. Its like donating $0.75 a day (the price of a cup of coffee) to starving African kids when its just going to feed Sally Struthers. Rich folk do that just so they can get a hard-on by ‘helping people’ as they bitch at me about their $30 copay.
The only person you would sell Airborne to is that retired teacher who always calls you out front for an OTC recommendation only to tell you how wrong you are and buy something else. Those fucks you are happy to see waste money because they have no problems wasting your time.
Which brings me to another point. One of the major selling points of Airborne is that it was “CREATED BY A SCHOOL TEACHER!”. Now just not any teacher, but a 2nd grade teacher. Someone enlighten me as to why I would trust anything a school-teacher made? How is that even a half-way valid selling point? Some of the most ignorant people I know are school teachers (mostly because they think they know everything and are very vocal about it). If it were made by a pharmacist it might have some basis because at least we know how the body works, but a 2nd grade school teacher? Is this shit going to work based upon the vast knowledge of social studies? Cursive writing? Multiplication tables? Is this teacher applying their vast knowledge of shit-stupid physical science to prevent my cold? What qualifications does he/she have (being a 2nd grade teacher and all) that would actually give her some real-world claim to actually know something about medicine?
Victoria Knight-McDowell, please inform us pharmacists what your methods were to determine what does and does not work to prevent colds as well as any relevant research and study data? What? No I do not wish my name on the chalkboard. What?!? Detention? Aww!!! I’m sorry for implying that you are a fraud preying on the stupidity of the uneducated population, can I go to recess now?
I’m confused as to why people waste their money on this shit. I’m actually shocked that people swear by something that is proven to not work and has every pharmacist in the country saying that it does not work. Its the “#1 best selling” because people are stupid. Not because it works, but because people are piss-stupid.
Of course they also buy “Head On” which is chap-stick for your forehead so I guess I should just shut my mouth.