This post is due to an educational grant from The Raging Server. Blame him that I’m ripping on all of the FibroFakers(tm, ie: TAestP dont steal this).
Usually when I write stuff like this which pisses off a ton of people, there is an implied concept that I’m bitching about one small subclass of people. Unfortunately, some of my readers here just got off the short bus. Example: I made a rant recently about Type-2 diabetics stupidly testing 5 times a day, and got tons of comments by a bunch of well educated Type-1 folks on insulin pumps (obviously well educated, low in common sense). So I have to make the following statement:
This post is about the joke diagnosis known as Fibromyalgia. If, in fact, you do have Fibromyalgia and are on Lyrica, Neurontin, TCA’s, Ibuprofen, and everything BUT SOLELY Vicodin/Valium/Soma, then disregard the rest of this post. I am not talking about you. Unless you want to be publicly made fun of on here, do not write me a 10 page comment bitching me out about your life story, how you are on ALL of these drugs to treat this “condition”, how much of an asshole I am, wah wah wah. I repeat, I am NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. Other readers of this website will be quick to point out the error of your way.
There are two types of people who have “Fibromyalgia” – Those who actually have something wrong with them, and those who just use it an an excuse to get narcotics. I must say that I have seen a whole lot more of the latter than the former. From just my own experience, it effects the poor more than the rich, and only Vicodin/Valium/Soma combination will ease their pain. To hell with Lyrica or anything else like Ibuprofen.
For those of you NOT in the medical profession. Fibromyalgia is one of those diagnosis which amounts to “You say you are in pain, yet we have no idea what is wrong with you”. Its a crap diagnosis which even the inventor of it says it does not exist. Basically what this comes down to is that it is indeed the new “low back pain” that people use to get narcotics. It indeed is the “low back pain” for the 00’s.
I do a ton of prior auths for patients to get their Norco/”Somas”/”Vico-DAN 7.5’s” covered. Its gotten to the point now that when the patient or doctor responds with “Diagnosis: Fibromyalgia” and I see nothing but narcotics on the patients profile for the last 10 years I want to put down on the prior auth “Diagnosis: Patient has a shitty life and just wants to get high”. For an Incidence of 2% of the general population there has to be something big that ALL of my patients seem to have acquired this condition. Maybe its transmitted by toilet seats or welfare folk having sex with unicorns or leprechauns. Or heres a novel idea, maybe they are just FAKING IT.
I see patients who have something obviously wrong with them, be it Fibro or something. They usually are all crippled up, walk with a cane, are on Depakote/Lyrica/Neurontin/Ibuprofen/other than solely Vicodin/Valium/Soma and get their 30 norco filled every month for breakthrough pain. They don’t bitch about early refills and actually take an active part on their healthcare.
Then I see the very vocal patient who has “Fibromyalgia”. I see them stroll through the parking lot to have the hand of God suddenly inflict them the most unbearable pain once they hit the front doors. They use phrases like “Good Lord Jesus save me from my pain” as they stumble to the counter. Johnny Depp, eat your heart out, these folk have you beat in the acting department. They act like the world is going to end until you say that the doctor denied their pain pills. At that time they stand STRAIGHT UP and YELL about how they have FIBROMYALGIA and are IN PAIN as they march straight out that door on their cell phone. Yeah.. I know.. See why I’m jaded?
The wikipedia article linked above has a lot of great tidbits about Fibro. My absolute favorite is:
“In addition, many patients experience cognitive dysfunction (known as
“brain fog” or “fibrofog”), which may be characterized by impaired
concentration and short-term memory consolidation, impaired speed of
performance, inability to multi-task, and cognitive overload.”
Yeah, brain fog/fibrofog. Gee, do you think its because of the condition, or the fucking truckload of dope these people get from their doctors to treat this “condition”. The jury is still out on that one.
Wait, wait, the NYT article (on page 2) has another gem:
“The potential for weight gain is a special concern because many
fibromyalgia patients are already overweight: the average fibromyalgia
patient in the 2007 survey reported weighing 180 pounds and standing 5
feet 4 inches.”
I wonder if carrying all of that excess weight around has anything to do with your chronic muscle pain? Nothing a little soma and valium wont fix! Oh wait, we should feel sorry for them because they have fibromyalgia. Lets just rename the disease FATSOmyalgia and stop with the candy-coating.
So yes, I do think Fibromyalgia is a fucking joke. I am not disputing that people have actual legit problems that require medication, but its really hard to take this as a real condition when people are just using this to get tons of free narcotics from the state program. Now I need to prepare for all of the people who didn’t read the disclaimer to send me their life stories and call me an asshole.