Angry Tweets for 2010-09-16

  • Im just going to stop telling patients anything, it just gets relayed to the Dr totally back-ass wrong. #
  • How does "Talk to your doctor about lowering dose d/t side effect" turn into "My pharmacist said he doesnt know why im on this medication" #
  • Its always that one resident who takes the pt's word as the Gospel that gets the patient that likes to make up stories of what I said. #
  • So a note on vial & reciept & info sheet & me TELLING YOU isn't enough to prevent a phone call about a diff looking tablet #
  • I have a hard enough time resisting putting "Pt is asshat" in Rx notes, cant imagine if i had to chart stuff. #
  • Why is it women with under-boob rashes are NEVER hot and ALWAYS want to show you. #
  • The only plastic card waved in front of my face that covers 'EVERYTHING' is a credit card. #
  • I havent had a physical in like 10 years. @BurbDoc you taking new patients? 🙂 #
  • Morbidly obese children anger me. I wish to stab the mother in the face with my spatula. #
  • I dont 'buy' this genetic obesity. Unless genetics makes you lazy and eat nothing but shit all day. #
  • Holy shit, how did we ever survive past 50 without Plavix!!!@#!@#! Yeah, just take aspirin and be happy. #
  • Im like a ghetto back-alley doctor. Well, more like ghetto triage. #
  • I need to find a PCP that will yell at me about drinking, then go out drinking with me after work. #
  • "Why does metformin smell like unwashed vagina" #patientquotes #
  • "Vicodin ES gives me hives, Norco 10 do not" #patientquotes #
  • "Do you have the bottles with the big nipples? My baby is used to BIG nipples" #patientquotes #
  • Its so nice to get a call from a NP/PA/MD/etc regarding "Hey, what should we do about patient x and drug y" #

Angry Tweets for 2010-09-15

  • Patient just brought in some shady looking corn. I ate it, rest of staff waits for my death (or ass-splosion) #
  • Its depressing to know that ppl arent nice to you for what you do for them, its what you possess for them. #
  • Oh look, you're all buddy-buddy with me. Oh, you want your methadone filled early. Thanks for thinking i'm a fucking idiot. #
  • Website Update: Massive power outage, host is waiting until its fixed before bringing the machines back up. #
  • HAHAHA My Tech: "She needs an Rx for MyCOCKsacillin" Oh man, here we go. #
  • When an idiot argues with me about the price of an Rx, i ask "Do you argue with the gas-station about prices too?" #
  • A Z-Pak confuses you? Does the PUSH and PULL on the front doors confuse you as well? #
  • Come on doctors, Fleets Phospho-Soda isn't made anymore. Learn this fact. #
  • "I know I'm not covered…. Wait, what do you mean I have to pay for this drug!" <— Winner. #dumbasspatientstories #
  • "Yeah, I know I have zero refills. Why cant I get my pills?" #dumbasspatientstories #
  • Patient stated the Miconazole Vag suppository applicator was "too short for her vagina" #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #

Angry Tweets for 2010-09-14

  • TB Patients who are on DOT need to be sent to an island where they can learn to be responsible. #
  • Wait, we now have DOT for HIV patients too? Lets wipe their ass while we are at it! #
  • If you have a serious contageous disease, and you are irresponsible to take meds by yourself, its off to the gladiator arena with you. #
  • Oh, DOT = Direct Observed Therapy = Government worker drives to your house EVERY DAY to watch you take your medications. #
  • Uh oh, some patient is talking a bunch out front.. Wait for it…. Yep, vicodin. #
  • Filled a Viagra Rx and the patient winked and smiled at me #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient wanted me to use her cell phone for a new Nix Rx #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient wanted detailed instructions how to use contraceptive foam #awkardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient yelled to me "My husbands pecker pill refill". Her husband was right next to her #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient asked how far up his butt should he put the suppository #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient tries to silently fart during consultation, but it turns into a high shreeeek #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient asks what the size limit is for the "Magnum" condoms #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Any question involving the pros and cons of Astroglide vs KY Jelly #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Zithromax 1gm pack for VD – Pt asks what this is for #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Having a very stupid mother ask what the BCP tablets for her 13 year old are for #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Patient is angry that I didnt warn him to not use Capsasin cream on his 'parts' #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #
  • Not having time to use the restroom, and a simple fart turns out to be much more #awkwardmomentsinpharmacy #

Angry Tweets for 2010-09-12

  • Oh hello work, and hello Rockstar Energy Drink. #
  • Yeah, Im the only one here with NO tech and I'm TOTALLY going to page the on-call MD for your early Soma rf. #
  • Twinkletoes, tell your life partner to stop whining at me or I wont refill your viagra. #
  • If I cant get any respect by trying to HELP you, maybe a baseball bat to the face will work? #
  • Oh, the sweet feeling of a crackhead pitching a fit, then having her CC be declined. #
  • How many times do I have to cut you off before you realize I dont give 2 shits about your life story? #
  • Ghetto chicks dancing in the store to that Applebottom Jeans song as a ringtone. GHETTOBOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS FROM THE TRASH! #
  • The cash price for 90 VicodinES #neverforget #
  • Watching chiropractic videos and marveling at the gizmos and snake-oil they use (lasers, percussion guns, cosmic emitters, chicken bones) #