Angry Tweets for 2010-11-21

  • I just bought @drugmonkey book. You should too. SUPPORT PHARMACY BLOGGERS! Search amazon for Drugmonkey #
  • I kinda want to write a book now: "Rants from The Angry Pharmacist – An insiders look at why you make your pharmacist a raging alcoholic" #
  • Pharmacy patients – Putting the Burbon in the coffee of pharmacists across America since the 1800's. #
  • What!?? They pulled Placebocet and Darvon off the market? JESUS TITTYFUCKING CHRIST I HAVE LIKE 3 FULL FUCKING BOTTLES HERE. God dammit. 🙁 #
  • This fucking refill center wants the Gauge Size for insulin syringes? Lets waste more of my time shall we? #
  • I wrote "12" in big black sharpie and faxed it back, lets see if they get the joke. #
  • Great, the obnoxious methadone cokehead asshole just walked in talking to himself loudly. Im about to tell him to stfu with my fucking boot #
  • This guy wont shut the fuck up. I so want to inject a syringe full of Narcan in him just so he has a reason to fucking open his mouth. #

Swimming in the Porcelain Pool

I get a lot of drug ad crap in the mail, but once in a while one really attracts my attention in a real ‘WTF were they thinking’ way.

Take Exhibit A:

Why is my mouth open when I have to poop in a pool?!?

Now Miralax is like Metamucil, it makes you poop.  Now I’m not sure what floats your boat, but if I were constipated and needed something to soften my food-baby, the LAST place I would want to be in swimming in a pool with my mouth open when the brown tide decides to come in.  Is the woman supposed to represent a poop floating in the water?  How does swimming in a pool go with constipation?  Maybe if her skin were dissolving in the water it would be more along the lines of the ‘osmotic effect’.  Maybe the force of the poop is propelling her through the water?  Should the water be going IN her butt?  I took it upon myself with my awesome drawing skills to make this ad more realistic:

Remember kids, when you’re straining like a puppy pooping peach stones, grab your Miralax and head over to the local pool, because nothing gets your bowels moving like an osmotic effect on both sides of the ole turd-cutter.

Angry Tweets for 2010-11-10

  • If this altered Rx was any worse it would have crayon on it. #
  • We've had one siezure, one fall, and a forgery in the store today. All I need is a clown and a carful of balloons to make it complete #
  • Layfolk watching someone have a siezure is interesting. Its like it pushes the panic button. #
  • Oh, dogs just walked into the store. The 4 legged ones, not the 2 legged overweight mouth-breathing "I WANT SOMA" kind #
  • Im starting to believe that I died last night and I'm trapped in pharmacy bizzaro-land. #

Angry Tweets for 2010-11-09

  • #crackheadmonday "DO YA'LL GOTS THE OXYS WITH DA OCs ON DEM? WHAT KIND OF CODEINE COUGH SYRUP AND SOMAS DO YA GOT TOO?" #
  • Getting a > 30 day supply denial makes me happy when you're going to mexico for 4 months. #
  • I'm glad im busting my ass so you can afford to go to another country for 4 months on my dime. #
  • A kick in the nuts would of been more fun than work today #
  • How did we EVER survive without HIPAA, Plavix, trade name Colchicine and that brand new statin! #
  • Bitching to me that you cant find OC oxycontin is like me bitching to McDonalds that the McRib is "Limited Time Only" #