Angry Tweets for 2011-01-29

  • Shit, totally forgot that its "I NEED MAH PAIN PILLS IM IN PAIN! Friday" #crackheadfriday #
  • You lost your vicodin on Friday. Reeeeealy. You're slackin crackhead! Its not 5pm yet! #
  • "Thanks for finding out what strips were covered, Can I have my Rx back so I can go to Walmart?" <–Welcome to Retail. #
  • Head Resident just went above the head RPh of the coumadin clinic. I'll jump into this war. #
  • I feel sorta shitty for bitching about crackheads while ppl are struggling for rights. We're so spoiled here. #
  • Why are residents so timid-sounding when they call me? I usually crack a joke to lighten up the mood. #
  • I've gained enough Coffee Points to gain another level in Pharmacist. #
  • Seeing MD's decypher drug pricing makes me lol. #
  • If you know that your Rx is early, WHY ARE WE FUCKING HAVING THIS CONVERSATION! #
  • Your IQ must be above my shoe size to get an Evra or Nuvaring Rx. #
  • You're too fucking stupid to have children. You cant even figure out 3 weeks on, 1 week off. #
  • Fuckhead just had me run&fill 4rx's. Then didnt like copays so taking to walmart. I crumpled up his Rx and threw it at his face. #
  • Im so pissed. My tech not only got a lunch (I havent), Burger King AND a blowjob by his new girlfriend. Time to ruin his day. #
  • Whats awesome/sad is that I'm MORE pissed about the getting a Burger King lunch than a BJ in the parking lot! #
  • Ooh OOh OOh! Forged Rx. Im ready to taser this fucker! #
  • Fuck, no resistance, no fight, no argument. I still wanna taser this fucker. #
  • Today has bent me over, used no lube, and gave me the donkey-punch of the year. #
  • You cry to me about advancing you some while waiting for MD. I say to bring empty bottle. You bring me a FULL BOTTLE OF PILLS. *sigh* #
  • I'm going to go to the grocery store and say "I WANT ALL MY REGULAR GROCERIES FILLED" and see how well that flies. #
  • I thought Pharmacists were supposed to help people, not hold their dick as they pee. #
  • You fucking fail life, and by me bailing your ass out (yet again) I have done the gene pool a horrible disservice. #
  • If I hear one more whiny-as-fuck crackhead screech "WHEHRES MAH VICO-DANS. DEY AINT BE READY?" Im going to go on a rampage. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-01-28

  • So, After reading @wilw's book I've decided that I'm going to copy @DrugMonkey and write my own. Need to email him about process. #
  • My challenge is to write one yet keep my identity anonymous. Might be a deal breaker. #
  • I'll be sure to include Fourner's Gangrene in there just for @burbdoc. #
  • My facebook fans absolutely rule: Call yourself Mr Formin. That way ppl can say "Have you met Formin?" HAHAHAHA. #
  • YOU ALL need to start bugging @drugmonkey to do a monthly podcast with yours truly. I think it would be stupidly funny #
  • If you could take the joy of a crackhead picking up their vicodin and bottle it, you could press it into OC tablets. #
  • Never fails. I fart and one of my clerks walks right behind me through it. #
  • When patients ask me when their next vicodin rf is due I always make it 2 days longer than it should be #stupidtax #
  • I need MD's to review my autism post. Email me druglord@theangrypharmacist.com I want to make sure I dont make (more of) an ass of myself. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-01-27

  • Up way too late last night reading Wil Wheaton's (@Wilw) book. If i kill someone today Wil, you're going down with me! 😉 #
  • You know how to make people stop smoking? Put an Rx label on their cigs. Guaranteed non-compliance then. #
  • "You're taking 10cc's of Lantus? Hows that bottle a day treating you?" #
  • Pt: "Im up all night because of my medicine!" Me: "Do you sleep during the day" Pt: "YES! But im up all night!" #
  • If Oprah walked into my store, I'd turn her down for an early trade name Vicodin ES refill. #
  • Almost forgot – Monday I had to administer Plan-C to the toliet. Use your imagination. #
  • A concept so simple as IV vs PO Vancomycin confuses SO MANY PEOPLE. WHY?!? NEOMYCIN IS THE SAME WAY! #
  • When the shit hits the fan, I hope these entitlement driven useless pieces of shit get 2 fucking scoops of humble pie. #
  • Im sick of being treated like shit by ungrateful, handout-grabbing, asshole fucks who do nothing but bitch about FREE. #
  • I think TOXIC MEGACOLON is a good porn star name.. Sorta.. Kinda.. #
  • Im pretty angry today. Dont know why. Just pissed at the world. #
  • I want to be the baseball bat to the face of society. #
  • Hearing my tech-school grad tech talk about drugs is about as sad as hearing my patients talk about drugs. #
  • The moment someone on state aid says "Gastric Bypass" I think "Lazy Fuck" #
  • Sure, Tech-School-Grad, Paxil is for allergies. Time for a good old-fashoned "You should of fucking learned this in school" ass-chewing. #
  • Pt wanted me to advance her tramadol until we hear from MD, i say no so she whips out a new Rx. #
  • Why should I hold your health in any higher regard than you do? You dont care, so why should I? #
  • Best name for a band: Fournier's Gangrene, Toxic Megacolon, or Stevens Johnsons Syndrome? #

Angry Tweets for 2011-01-26

  • Ugh, major pet peeve is having a pt hand me a LOADED lancet device complete with used needle in it. #
  • Working is so 1920's. State aid is the 'in' thing now. #
  • If you have a type-1 allergy to Sulfa, and you need a diuretic, you are boned. #
  • Oral Vancomycin has a 0% absorbtion rate. Its topical ONLY. Tattoo that on your arm. #
  • Med Resident wrote for: Ventolin, Advair, Propranolol. I was nice about it when I called them, they are learning just like we all had to. #
  • You know the systemic absorbtion of a punch to the face? Its the same as ORAL VANCOMYCIN. #
  • You know how to get a PBM audit? Fill a Vanco or Zyvox Rx. #
  • Hey @BurbDoc, lets see if we can get @BlakeTheRxGuy to throw up remotely! #
  • I made myself a deli-roast beef sandwich, put extra mayo, squeezed it down and thought of @BurbDoc's day. #
  • New word of the day Anoscope. #
  • Today I have learned about Vaginal Yeast Secretions, Anoscope, and People who have sex with Stomas. #
  • Mr Fournier: "Im getting named after a gangrene? Oh sweet.. Wait? WHERE? OH SHIT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME". #

Angry Tweets for 2011-01-25

  • Pro Pran Oh lol! #
  • "Chronic Widespread Pain Syndrome?" Really? That sounds like med-speak for "Hangover" #
  • I must be suffering from "Chronic Widespead Stupidity Intolerance Syndrome". The only cure? More fucking cowbell. #
  • Some days I wish I could publically tell people how fucking stupid they are. #
  • Not really how stupid really, but how good they have it compared to public assistance programs say in China. #
  • I wonder if the people who made "Dont Shoot the Pharmacist" movie have heard of my site. #
  • "BUT DOCTOR PUT A REFILL ON MY OXYCODONE RX!" Me: "I dont care if he put 5 refills with glitter and pixie dust, cant have rf's on a c2" #

Angry Tweets for 2011-01-22

  • Quantum Leap stole my Jeep gonna catch that fool in time. #
  • Hm, my clerk has a cardiac arrythmia. Shes getting the EKG so we can play doctor here. I hope its Torsades. I love ballerinas. #
  • I need a tiger pit trap-door in front of the cash registers so I can say "YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK" *kerchunk* #
  • Problem is that tigers can only eat so much. Replace tigers with wood-chipper intake! #
  • Next MediCal eTAR I do for vicodin I'm putting in the icd9 as 318.2 and see if they get the joke. #
  • Barometer of average intellegence – Afraid that Vaccines = Autism yet its okay to smoke cigs in the house with a baby/infant/child. #
  • How is @burbdoc above me on http://www.followfriday.com? This is outrageous! #
  • I want @BurbDoc and I to start our own version of "Scrubs" #
  • HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCKIN CRACKHEAD WALKED IN SPORTIN A DESIGNER SNUGGIE. #
  • Oh WOE IS YOU. Going on vacation tomorrow and have NO MONEY FOR YOUR EARLY FILLS. Life is tough on the state tit. #
  • My tech: "I can tell how angry you are with your tweets but how hard you hit the enter key". #