Angry Tweets for 2011-02-26

  • Todays Fartcast includes a high pressure/high humidy area with slight chances of splattered showers. #
  • Tips on being internet famous: Be a patient of @BurbDoc and myself; Do something stupid/outrageous; ???; Enjoy fame on twitter. #
  • Are ER docs as annoyed as I am when I see ER-time being used as a ghetto primary-care clinic? You know, treating NON EMERGENCIES. #
  • I dont see the doctor. I just watch Oprah, Dr. Oz, "Ask the Doctors", and Dr. Phil. They give me the information I need to sur*AARRRG MI!* #
  • If your RPh is too busy to sit down for a lunch, the same rules should apply to the techs as well. #
  • Residents: If there is a choice between a textbook-taper, and a real-life taper; think of the pharmacist who has to deal with your choice. #
  • BKBJ was trying to take credit for my "Crackhead Octogon". I called him out on it, fucker isn't that creative. #
  • HAHAHA That Rx is for HYDROCHLOROTHIAZIDE 25 not HYDROCODONE 25. The look on sadness on her face was PRICELESS. #
  • If people treated food-service the same as pharmacists, there would be a pandemic in pubic/spit laden food. #
  • If Chuck Norris was a Pharmacist an early refill would come with a roundhouse to the face. #
  • #ChuckNorrisMD JCAHO doesn't inspect Chuck. Chuck inspects JCAHO. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-25

  • You say "Alright" like you understand, but the blank look in your eyes says otherwise. #
  • New pharmacist is telling patient about PFT on new amioderone patient. Yeah, thanks for scaring the shit out of him. #
  • I did a therapeutic substitution of a kick in the ass to a claw-hammer to the face. Your doctor approved the change. #
  • Orange-Book says that a claw-hammer is an approved AH-rated (#AssHat) substitution. #
  • Pt: "I want BRAND-X methadone." Yeah, well I want a blowjob and a Rolex. Guess you should be happy with what I give you. #
  • Amazing how crackheads are quick to point out a 31 day month, but somehow forget the 28 day month. #
  • HEY COOLIO! YOU SMELL LIKE WEED! YOU'RE STANKIN UP THE STORE! #
  • It smells a horrible mixture of residual weed, BO, cat-piss, and stank in here. #
  • BKBJ: What are Lidoderm used for? Me: Think about it…. THINK ABOUT IT WHILE DOING SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLINDLY STARING INTO SPACE! #
  • BKBJ (to clerk): I think ranitidine is for depression Me: I think you wasted $20k on schooling. #
  • HOW IN THE FUCK DID WE SURVIVE THIS LONG WITHOUT PLAVIX! Holy shit, 90% of the world does NOT NEED PLAVIX! #
  • I wonder if the medical future is as crappy as the pharmacy future. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-24

  • 55yo with her tounge pierced. Yeeaaaaaah. Honey, if you still need training wheels at 50, im sorry but you'll never be good at it. #
  • Guy out front says that if his Rx's arent done soon he'll shit his pants in the store. IM CALLING YOUR BLUFF. #
  • Oh, followup to shit-bluff. We let him use the restroom because cats were trying to bury him in the sand from his ass-vapor #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-23

  • I heard on the radio that Justin Bieber cut his hair. In other news I took an epic-level shit. Those two have the same newsworthly value. #
  • Welcome to Pharmacy Feud. We surveyed 100 people. The question is: Most common saying heard in a pharmacy. #
  • Second Question: Why cant I spell today. SURVEY SAYS: #
  • SURVEY SAYS: "Did mah Doktor OK mah vike-o-dans yet" #
  • #PharmacyFeud NEXT ROUND: A Pharmacists best friend is: #
  • Oh BKBJ, you always give me something to be angry about. #
  • BKBJ: "She sucks dick well enough to write to the president about" Me: "I dont know how to respond to that" #
  • Me (to BKBJ): Hey, go get that womans machine for me out front. BKBJ: HOLY SHIT I CANT BREATHE. Me: heh heh heh. #
  • I seriously have half a bottle of Purell dumped out on the counter to drown out the smell of BO and cat piss. #
  • Best feeling to see a patient walk in, and realize you're about to lose 20mins out of your day. #
  • Heh, Healthcare is a "Basic Human Right"? Sorta goes on with that "Driving is a Right". #
  • Guess if Healthcare is a right, taking care of yourself and living healthy is also a Right. #
  • Why does Barr name its Birth Control fucking useless fruity bullshit names? COME THE FUCK ON. #
  • I think the Bourbon and Beer aren't having a party in my tummy 🙁 #
  • In fraternity life, when did the word "Hazing" start being thrown around like the word "Terrorist" #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-18

  • Whoops, Think I pissed off an attending by calling him a resident for writing a C2 on wrong blank w/ refills. #
  • I love it when patients say "Just fill it, I'll pay cash" then backpedal really fast when a $500 bill gets plopped in front of them. #
  • I told a patient "Its your responsiblity to get your insurance fixed" and they looked at me like I farted in church. wtf. #
  • Pt: "I NEED MAH ZANAX NAO OR I'LL PANIK RIGHTHERE!" Me: *patiently waits for freakout* Pt: "OK FINE! I'LL WAIT FOR THE OK" #