Angry Tweets for 2011-02-26

  • Todays Fartcast includes a high pressure/high humidy area with slight chances of splattered showers. #
  • Tips on being internet famous: Be a patient of @BurbDoc and myself; Do something stupid/outrageous; ???; Enjoy fame on twitter. #
  • Are ER docs as annoyed as I am when I see ER-time being used as a ghetto primary-care clinic? You know, treating NON EMERGENCIES. #
  • I dont see the doctor. I just watch Oprah, Dr. Oz, "Ask the Doctors", and Dr. Phil. They give me the information I need to sur*AARRRG MI!* #
  • If your RPh is too busy to sit down for a lunch, the same rules should apply to the techs as well. #
  • Residents: If there is a choice between a textbook-taper, and a real-life taper; think of the pharmacist who has to deal with your choice. #
  • BKBJ was trying to take credit for my "Crackhead Octogon". I called him out on it, fucker isn't that creative. #
  • HAHAHA That Rx is for HYDROCHLOROTHIAZIDE 25 not HYDROCODONE 25. The look on sadness on her face was PRICELESS. #
  • If people treated food-service the same as pharmacists, there would be a pandemic in pubic/spit laden food. #
  • If Chuck Norris was a Pharmacist an early refill would come with a roundhouse to the face. #
  • #ChuckNorrisMD JCAHO doesn't inspect Chuck. Chuck inspects JCAHO. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-25

  • You say "Alright" like you understand, but the blank look in your eyes says otherwise. #
  • New pharmacist is telling patient about PFT on new amioderone patient. Yeah, thanks for scaring the shit out of him. #
  • I did a therapeutic substitution of a kick in the ass to a claw-hammer to the face. Your doctor approved the change. #
  • Orange-Book says that a claw-hammer is an approved AH-rated (#AssHat) substitution. #
  • Pt: "I want BRAND-X methadone." Yeah, well I want a blowjob and a Rolex. Guess you should be happy with what I give you. #
  • Amazing how crackheads are quick to point out a 31 day month, but somehow forget the 28 day month. #
  • HEY COOLIO! YOU SMELL LIKE WEED! YOU'RE STANKIN UP THE STORE! #
  • It smells a horrible mixture of residual weed, BO, cat-piss, and stank in here. #
  • BKBJ: What are Lidoderm used for? Me: Think about it…. THINK ABOUT IT WHILE DOING SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLINDLY STARING INTO SPACE! #
  • BKBJ (to clerk): I think ranitidine is for depression Me: I think you wasted $20k on schooling. #
  • HOW IN THE FUCK DID WE SURVIVE THIS LONG WITHOUT PLAVIX! Holy shit, 90% of the world does NOT NEED PLAVIX! #
  • I wonder if the medical future is as crappy as the pharmacy future. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-24

  • 55yo with her tounge pierced. Yeeaaaaaah. Honey, if you still need training wheels at 50, im sorry but you'll never be good at it. #
  • Guy out front says that if his Rx's arent done soon he'll shit his pants in the store. IM CALLING YOUR BLUFF. #
  • Oh, followup to shit-bluff. We let him use the restroom because cats were trying to bury him in the sand from his ass-vapor #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-23

  • I heard on the radio that Justin Bieber cut his hair. In other news I took an epic-level shit. Those two have the same newsworthly value. #
  • Welcome to Pharmacy Feud. We surveyed 100 people. The question is: Most common saying heard in a pharmacy. #
  • Second Question: Why cant I spell today. SURVEY SAYS: #
  • SURVEY SAYS: "Did mah Doktor OK mah vike-o-dans yet" #
  • #PharmacyFeud NEXT ROUND: A Pharmacists best friend is: #
  • Oh BKBJ, you always give me something to be angry about. #
  • BKBJ: "She sucks dick well enough to write to the president about" Me: "I dont know how to respond to that" #
  • Me (to BKBJ): Hey, go get that womans machine for me out front. BKBJ: HOLY SHIT I CANT BREATHE. Me: heh heh heh. #
  • I seriously have half a bottle of Purell dumped out on the counter to drown out the smell of BO and cat piss. #
  • Best feeling to see a patient walk in, and realize you're about to lose 20mins out of your day. #
  • Heh, Healthcare is a "Basic Human Right"? Sorta goes on with that "Driving is a Right". #
  • Guess if Healthcare is a right, taking care of yourself and living healthy is also a Right. #
  • Why does Barr name its Birth Control fucking useless fruity bullshit names? COME THE FUCK ON. #
  • I think the Bourbon and Beer aren't having a party in my tummy 🙁 #
  • In fraternity life, when did the word "Hazing" start being thrown around like the word "Terrorist" #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-18

  • Whoops, Think I pissed off an attending by calling him a resident for writing a C2 on wrong blank w/ refills. #
  • I love it when patients say "Just fill it, I'll pay cash" then backpedal really fast when a $500 bill gets plopped in front of them. #
  • I told a patient "Its your responsiblity to get your insurance fixed" and they looked at me like I farted in church. wtf. #
  • Pt: "I NEED MAH ZANAX NAO OR I'LL PANIK RIGHTHERE!" Me: *patiently waits for freakout* Pt: "OK FINE! I'LL WAIT FOR THE OK" #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-17

  • If you love pharmacy, and you love podcasts, I might hint at @AngryPharmcast COMING SOON (we hope) #
  • In Pharmacy Today – "Flordia student RPh's deliver MTM by phone." Good to see APhA supports retail and mail order-type pharmacy #
  • Have you noticed that in these APhA articles (that arent advertisements) it involves students or old retired pharmacist? #
  • Oh, and I LOVE the full-page CVS/Caremark ad in the APhA magazine. Glad to see APhA is doing something about the PBM's! #
  • Having RPh's charge for shit we do for FREE (ie MTM) is like McDonalds charging for ketchup packets or napkins. Its not going to work. #
  • Pharmacy is dying of a brain tumor, and APhA is focusing on treating an ingrown toenail. #
  • I've given up on you APhA, you obviously don't care about the small retail shops in favor of your corporate chain/pbm sponsers #
  • If you crackhead would work as hard getting a JOB as you do trying to get narcs filled early – you'd be set. #
  • Im on the verge of pissing in the pharmacy sink because someone is taking their sweet time ducing. #
  • Whenever I deal with an asshat patient (and equal asshat MD) I think: WWBD (What Would @burbdoc Do) #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-16

  • About 2 hours of feverish sleep last night, I feel like death and I'm at work. Actifed and coffee save me. #
  • 4square posting to twitter – possibly the worst idea on the planet. #
  • I just ousted Cracky McCrackhead as the mayor of Crackville on @foursquare! #
  • I'm at Walgreens picking up narcotics on @foursquare! (4 min later) I'm at Rite-Aid picking up narcs on @foursquare! #
  • Im amazed that the most anti-government-spying-on-you people out there post publically where they are on @foursquare! #
  • No matter how long you do this, you can never fully comprehend how absoutely ungrateful people can be. #
  • Farting while sick is like playing russian roulette with not only your undergarments, but your day as well. #
  • Med Resident: "Hows your day going" – Me: "I want to punch someone in the throat" – Resident: "Glad im not alone" #
  • Its gotten to the point where we need to handle insurance like credit-cards. No card, no sale, no exceptions. #
  • Good job Caremark. Mail order only plan and no override for antibiotics. #
  • Well, @burbdoc has been mighty quiet today. Must of broken a finger during a DRE. #
  • Med residents give me hope that the other side of medicine is just as bad as pharmacy. #
  • Hm, for the day after valenties day we sure haven't dispensed much Plan-B nor Valtrex/Zithromax 1gm #
  • Face, meet counter. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-15

  • BKBJ: "Dr wants gabapentin 1000 mg, do I use 2 of the 100's?" Me: *blank look* #
  • Today is brought you by the letter A. A is for ACTIFED which your pharmacist is taking. #
  • I want to buy a bike. A nice mountain bike, with disc breaks and shocks. #
  • Happy valentines day! Your soma is too early, come back thursday. #
  • Boy, #PENISFRIDAY and #VAGINAMONDAY Pfizer stock just went up 100000% from viagra sales. #
  • If I have to phone in Abstral Rx's like iPledge, then my pharmacy "cant get it". Not going to jump through their hoops for $2 profit. #
  • At some point, you just have to accept that stupid people will take themselves out. #
  • If you want to OD on Abstral or take Accutane while pregnant – hey, thats your bad. #
  • People who are prescribed a steroid MDI but refused to take it deserve to get a little asthma scare once in a while. #
  • Wee, lets just throw more money away giving this asshole Ventolin when he refuses to use any steroid! #
  • Hm, your asthma cant be too bad if you're screaming at me that "YOU CANT BREATHE AND YOU NEED YOUR DRUG RIGHT NOW" #
  • Me: "BKBJ, If we're both running Rx's out, who's filling? Sure as shit its not me, so gtf off the computer and start counting!" #
  • "Im Disabled" is like a flaming sword of pity +5 that people expect to do miracles for it. Sorry, wont go through yet. #
  • Instead of "Relay for Life", we should have prostate cancer awareness run "Relay for boners". #
  • To all the ladies spending valentines alone, The Angry Pharmacy has a sale on KY jelly and kleenex. #
  • Actifed: Do not exceed 4 doses in 24 hours (unless you're a pharmacist) #
  • If I fill an Rx, then later you decide to not want it and want your Rx back, I'm ripping my tags off of it in the most mutalating way poss. #
  • If you get your "brother who's a pharmacist on the phone" to tell me im wrong, he's going to get both barrels of TAP. #
  • Oh, the "brother who's a pharmacist" is a "brother who's a pharmacy TECH". Time for an ass-chewing. #
  • Valentines day on Twitter is like Valentines day in the 4th grade. Only without the little desk mailboxes. #
  • One of my patients gave me a valentines card.. With her methadone rx in it….. thats 10 days too early to fill….. lame. #
  • Afrin is like a cougar you pick up in a bar. Ok to use her for about 5 days, but any longer and you'll regret it. #
  • "Doctor changed my medicine but I lost the prescription and I dont know the doctors name" <– Guess you're SOL! #
  • I feel like shit. The Actifed isn't cutting it anymore. #
  • BKBJ is talking about going out tonight and getting laid. The decending aeorta is to the right or left of the spine if the pt facing away #
  • Dear big hand on clock. Please move to '12' so I can take another Actifed. TY <3 TAP. #
  • Whiny High Maint pt: "Hoooow do I take this!" Me (in my head): READ THE FUCKING LABEL YOU DUMBSHIT. #
  • If I didnt know better, I would say V-Day would be Vicodin-Day. #
  • Pt (narcotics): "BUT FEBURARY ONLY HAS 28 DAYS IN IT" Me: We aren't done with feb yet. Jan had 31 days in it. Come back friday. #
  • Pt: "Why cant you fill it early! Its only one day" Me: "If its only 1 day, then you'll have no problem waiting until tomorrow" #
  • Going home to die. Be good. #
  • My #twittercrush is alcohol and actifed #sick #