Angry Tweets for 2011-02-13

  • Hurray? Twitter updates facebook again? #
  • well SHITCOCKTOAST why the FUCK is this not working. #
  • Why the FUCK am I at work. Im about to kill this fucking robot. #
  • If this robot blows up today, Im going to fucking lose it (more). #
  • This coffee is so weak it looks like iced tea and has as much kick as nun-piss does. #
  • Cleaned robot sensors with alcohol & Q-Tip. Next time it'll be with piss and my boot. #
  • When I say "I need to get the OK on these", dont whip out a handful of new Rx's for the same drugs. Prescriptions are not bond papers. #
  • If you are anything like your ringtone, gtfo and find another pharmacy #
  • It really bugs me when people refer to drugs as "Free". No, $0 copay is not FREE. AIR is free, drugs are not free. #
  • Free implies no value. These drugs have a value, you just aren't paying anything for it. #
  • And the reason why you arent paying anything; is that us, the taxpayers, dont have a choice but to pay for you. #
  • Why am I angry? Its because I care about people, but its frustrating to care when they dont care about themselves/others. #
  • Just look, you're on $500 of meds that are FREE and you dont take them. What does that say about you and what you think about whats given. #
  • If you were given a free TV a month, you'd take it. However you value MATERIAL above your health b/c you know someones bailing u out #
  • If you don't care about society, why should society give 2 shits about you? #
  • Remember: The government that can give you everything, can just as easily take everything away. #
  • Take your housing, food, everything away. But HEY! You'll have a nice TV and iPhone! #
  • But thats okay, cry on the 11:00 news about how you "lost everything" and the'll just shovel it back at you. #
  • See that diner waitress working 2 jobs for her kids? She deserves it and she would thank you until she lost her voice. #
  • You get more than she does (without working) and you bitch because its not the 'grape cough syrup' or your vicodin wasn't filled fast enough #
  • She would sit quietly for an hour, while you cant be bothered to get off your FUCKING PHONE so I can ask you a question. #
  • Thats why I'm angry. Thats why I'm retail pharmacy's reality-check. #
  • APhA needs to stop patting each other on the back/giving out awards and start LISTENING TO US. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-12

  • Im writing to Nyquil and Jack Daniels saying they are not cures for illnesses #
  • How appropriate for #PENISFRIDAY that I FEEL like dick and i'm going to GET the dick (at work). #
  • Dear deaf old patient. Please make the $30k HIPAA violation worth it. Please order your viagra outside at shouting level. #
  • And if you expect me to service you with a straight face after shouting "PECKER PILLS", you expect too much. #
  • If I could meet the guy who decided to pull Entex-LA off the market, I'd cock-punch him. #
  • Im in a pharmacy, but cant take anything. I feel like Lancelot @ Castle Anthrax in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. #
  • Sim-vuh-stay-ten #HookedOnGeneticsWorksForMe #
  • Just got into a yelling match with BK-BJ tech who said its prefered to use tap water vs distilled to cut antifreeze in radiator #
  • Wow, a baby-doll T-shirt with a HUGE PREGGO STRETCH-MARK BELLY hanging nakedly out. Classy. #
  • coolant water argument – BKBJ: I went to mechanic school, I know this. Me: You also went to tech school, we see how well that turned out. #
  • Pt: "He called in pain meds and something else" Me (in my head): "Oh what the fuck does it matter about the 'other one'" #
  • This is the Starship Pharmaprise. To boldly serve those who dont give 2 fucks about themselves or anyone else. #
  • Dear Patients – If you treat me like shit, im going to want a copy FAXED over to waste YOUR time vs getting a verbal. #
  • As much as you EXPECT me to prevent you from dying, I EXPECT you to treat me better than a dog that shit in the house. #
  • Because when it comes down to it, if California goes broke, YOU WILL DIE DUE TO YOUR OWN LACK OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. #
  • I dont know why ungrateful fucks make me angry, I should lower my standards on humanity so I wont wake up to be disappointed. #
  • Maybe if you, ungrateful cunt, would WORK a day in your life you'd realize that I cant fill an Rx in 4 seconds. #
  • Bitch didn't even say thank you. Thats the youth of america. I hope when society collapses you get two fists of humble pie TO YOUR FACE. #
  • Jesus H Christ. Im the guy who always says please/thank you. Im the guy who NEVER sends food back. I tip at least 20% (for shitty service) #
  • Oh, Im sorry, but your ungrateful fuck ass got Prometh PP with Codeine. I replaced the VC with PP, hope you dont mind. #
  • Hey twat openly bitching about us on your cell phone. I can hear you, and the cash price of your perocet just went WAY UP. #
  • At this rate, I'll have an MI by 40. #
  • Dont waste my time with your life story, just say you need your fucking narcs refilled. #
  • Am I the only one with fantasys about shoving handfuls of vicodin in a crackheads mouth while saying HERES YOUR FUCKING VICODIN #
  • Am I the only one who cant spell to save his life? I hate you flu medication! #
  • Hello slutty looking teenagers in the pharmacy. Shall I get you prenatal vitamins now? #
  • WAIT, what part of ME is in the phrase "I ran out of MY medicine last week" #
  • The only way you're getting Tussionex tonight is if I break the bottle against your face. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-11

  • Hm. "REFILL ALL REGULAR MEDS" I'll just only run the vicodin/soma/narcs out and save myself the trouble of RTS'ing everything else. #
  • I want the Angry Podcast to be funny/classy, not stupid like 99% of webcam shit uploaded on youtube (that nobody cares about) #
  • NPR Voice: But the angry podcast depends on listeners like YOU to get @BURBDOC to pull this shit with me. #
  • With every passing hour of @BurbDoc's silence, my hope for this podcast dwindles. I should just give up now vs be butthurt. #
  • State assistance + Planning ahead = Vaccines + Autism. Yeah, figure that out. #
  • I wonder how many peeps claim me as their #twittercrush #
  • Ive got hoes (oh I got hoes)…… In different Claim Clarification Codes….. #
  • This loud bitch is on the phone bitching about the FREE care she got from a resident. Enjoy the long wait for your meds bitch. #
  • I'm going to market to MD's an automated prostate exam device. Mounted on the toe of a boot. #
  • Accupril? Who the fuck writes for accupril anymore! #
  • I seriously need a hug after today 🙁 #
  • I wonder if MTV can film a '16 and pregnant' episode in my store. Have to be subtitled in spanish though. #
  • Aww this babydaddy is cuddling with his babymomma – He'll bail once that kid gets squirted out. #
  • Work just sucks when you feel like shit. Coming down with the plague that has half my staff out sick 🙁 #
  • Woman just spent a full min's rumming through her bra to find her Rx. I touched her tit by proxy. #
  • If you saw what she looked like, you wouldn't want to be me. #
  • Purell isn't strong enough for this stank, time for the gasoline. #
  • Feel like shit. Thats pharmacist-speak for I FEEL LIKE FUCKING SHIT. #
  • The sheer amount of cock tomorrow is going to suck can only be expressed in scientific notation. #
  • And yes, I do have to work tomorrow. #
  • Nite internet. Hopefully Nyquil with a whiskey chaser makes me better. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-10

  • Dear Juan Valdez. You and your donkey have prevented the deaths of many a ASSHAT today. I thank you for your service for humanity. #coffee #
  • Ouch. Read about the Colorado RPh who gave 19 yo preggo MTX instead of antibiotic. Similar name, one born in 52 other 92. #
  • Bet dollars to doughnuts they asked her the name and DOB and she responded with "yeah, yeah, just gimme the rx! hurry my ride is impatient". #
  • Yeah, it sucks and all, but at what point do we have to interrogate the patient? #
  • Yanno, for how often we see media-dramatized misfills compared to how many Rx fills/day nationwide, we're doing damn well. #
  • Blame sudafed for the meth problem? Nope, blame the FDA for pulling PPA over a bullshit study. #
  • HAY Pharmacy Peeps. Is there a shortage of Vicodin 5/500 by watson? #
  • Normal speak: I just took sudafed for my congestion. (see next tweet) #
  • Media speak: Pharmacist just took a POWERFUL METH PRECURSOR that KILLS MINORITY CHILDREN for his congestion. #
  • Female Pt: "Didnt I go to HS with you?" Me: "Yup" Pt: "Damn, a pharmacist? I missed the boat! Are my norco ready" Me: "Due monday, c-ya!" #
  • Sorry Apple, but you've turned into just another Microsoft. I'm 'thinking different' now. #
  • Hey @BurbDoc, you know of any good weight loss clinics? #
  • My tech was dancing to Lady GaGa. This is the BK BJ'er. His new name on here is "BK-BJ". #
  • Just made BK-BJ a cheat card with the vicodin/lortab/norco strengths #techschoolfail #
  • Me: "You take your Flovent every day?" Pt: "Yes" Me: "Last filled was in October" Pt: "Oh, I might of ran out of it a month ago". #
  • Man, starting to feel that @BurbDoc isn't down with the angry podcast. The world crys cancer-curing tears. #
  • The Angry Medicine Podcast – Clinically Proven by Wakefield to Cure Cancer and Autism. #
  • Still no response from @BurbDoc about Yes/No on podcast. The world holds its breath. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-09

  • Might go to tahoe for the CHSP convention next month. CE? Nah, drinking with old classmates, YES! #
  • Hm, if I sneak booze into the CE, I can kill 2 birds with one stone. Drinking & Powernap while earning CE's? YES! #
  • This patient is a prime example of Avagadros Fail. Thats 6.022×10^23 or 1 Mole of Fail. #
  • Flattered that people think my snarky commentary is similar to @pennjillette No, he's not a pharmacist, but he's my hero. #
  • I'll believe in those "water saving" toliets when my turds either get smaller, or toliets develop telekinetic flushing augmentations. #
  • Farting -> Joke that never gets old // Sharting -> Day ruiner. Walk that line carefully. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-08

  • You can plan a fucking vacation, but you can't plan to refill your meds BEFORE you're out. #
  • Dear women of the ghetto. Babies are not Pez and your vagina is not a Pez dispenser. Close your legs or foot the bill yourself. #
  • Why am I somehow to blame for YOUR insurance plan/coverage? I didn't sign up for this piece of shit! I didn't get duped by a salesman! #
  • Being homeless is not an excuse for being fucking lazy. Just sayin. #
  • If you have the ambition to wipe your own ass, i'll show you where the paper is. However don't expect me to wipe your ass for you. #
  • Pt: "Well then I'll just die and i'll be your fault" Me: "*shrug* Its your life, do what you want" Pt: "WAIT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CARE!" #
  • I'm putting clonidine in root-beer with grenadine. I'm calling it DUUUURRRRRzip. #
  • I've eaten so much Fruit Nut Mix today that I'm going to shit out Mr Peanut riding a giant Baby-Ruth bar. #
  • If you are friendly and ask us how our day is going, you want an early refill on your narcotics #PHARMACYPROTIP #
  • Tech: "We are out of Golly-Telly!". Me: "wtf? OH, GoLYTELY!" #
  • No bitch, its not because we faxed the dr an hour ago for your rf, its b/c God hates poor people. #
  • WHERE THE FUCK IS @BURBDOC!?!?!??!?!?! #
  • Hey woman out front with the sour look on your face. Im at work every day to eat, you don't have to work to eat. I pay copays, you dont. #
  • If marijuana becomes legal, who wants to get the patent on Vicodin/Soma impregnated rolling papers with me! Anyone? #

Vaccines, Autism, and Dipshit Jenny McCarthy

By the time you read this, the Vaccine = Autism published by the BJM will be old news (Yes, I do write a bunch of rants at once and have them post at a later date).  However lets take a closer look at this whole situation.

Lets keep in mind that I don’t belittle Autism or think its “not important”.  I’m hoping to not only find out what the cause is, but how to prevent it.  Autism, like Down Syndrome, happens and we aren’t sure exactly why or how.   Take a look at how many drugs are out there (that kill people no less) that the mechanism of action is “Undetermined”.  Are you throwing a shit-fest over those? No.  Is some random dipshit actor standing on his/her soapbox about that? Nope.

First off, Jenny McCarthy.  The woman who is best known for her blond hair and big fake tits speaks the gospel about how vaccines contribute to autism. The whole fact that people LISTEN and BELIEVE her shit makes me want to blow the brains out of 99% of society.  She should stick to what she does best, being being eye-candy.  We don’t need “actors” to be the voice of medicine, politics, or anything else that they know jack and shit about.  Lets be realistic, if you listen (and believe) any non-medically trained person’s bullshit about medicine, you are an idiot. Do I ask the random homeless guy on the street how to fix the breaker box in my house?  No. Do people come into my store and ask me how to replace the water-pump in their Escalade?  No. However some random dipshit actor “speaks out” on a topic and people run and proclaim the word like it was given by Oprah herself.  Yes, it sucks that her child is autistic.  It sucks that /any/ child is autistic.  However it sucks MORE that kids need to suffer a preventable diseases because their mom listens to such propaganda given by a non-medically trained person.  I’m sorry Jenny, but I am no longer fapping to pictures of you out of sheer disappointment.  I hope we can still be friends.

Second on the chopping block, the Lancet.  I had somewhat high regard for the Lancet, having used their studies while I was in school.  How in the hell could they let such a bullshit study be published? A study group of 12?  A high school science project has more people in their study group!  But oh-no, its the whole “think of the children” mentality that got this clusterfuck of a study published vs good logical science.  Good going Lancet, now you can “think of the children” as the unwashed idiots don’t immunize their children and they die a preventable death.  I’m planning on releasing a study showing how Vicodin and Soma use cause laziness and stupidity.  My sample size is 20, I hope you publish my study.

Third, and most favorite: Andrew Wakefield.  Dude, when you publish a study with a sample group of 12 on a medication that MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people have received without incident, didn’t you take a step back and think to yourself “Man, maybe something is a bit wrong”.  No, you didn’t.  You published your bullshit to the Lancet, got your 20 seconds of fame, freaked the fuck out of a bunch of ignorant dipshits because you are were a licensed Doctor and thereby had the inherit trust that goes along with the degree.  If you were selling penis pumps (because thats really all you can do now), I wouldn’t even buy one of those from you because your study group would be 12 men who used it!  You did a huge disservice to the profession of medicine.  Your fellow colleagues hate you, nurses and pharmacists hate you, and to be completely blunt you and the Lancet should be brought up on criminal charges for the damage you have done.  You should go have sex with Jenny McCarthy so maybe the common sense recessive trait could be expressed in your children.

Fourth (and finally) the parents who refuse to immunize because of Autism:  I’m a parent – so this hits close to home. To be completely honest its not the job of the government nor any governmental authority to make you vaccinate your child.  Its your child, you can do whatever you want.  However, that being said, if your child develops any preventable disease because you decided to listen to an ACTOR via the INTERNET vs listening to your DOCTOR (I can see how you can confuse the two, they end in -CTOR) YOU should receive zero state aid while the CHILD gets the treatment he/she deserves on our dime (its not the child’s fault their parents are dipshits, so why should they get shafted out of treatment?).  That’s right, no welfare or any public assistance for YOU because YOU decided to not listen to someone who deals medicine for a living.  You can sleep soundly in bed listening to your child squeal with pertussis knowing full well they won’t get the evil Autism because of your good judgment. Right after that, please stick a road-flare up your vagina, because we don’t need more idiots like you breeding.

I will commend BJM to putting an end to this madness, unfortunately its too little too late.  The damage has been done, the lines have been drawn, and you aren’t going to change the opinion of the uneducated idiots.  After all, you are just a “propaganda machine for big Pharma”.  Oh, and calling Jenny McCarthy an actor is a stretch, even in my book.

But wait! Theres more!  For your enjoyment, straight from YouTube, I present my heros Penn (he should have been a Pharmacist!) and Teller’s episode of Bullshit about this very subject:

Part 1:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo97VouL0ls

Part 2:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_nYMEO82mo

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-05

  • If you see my work on the 5:00 news for anal rapage, I'm the victim. #
  • While some places have been getting feet of snow, I'm suffering a pandemic of stupidty. #
  • I should teach a pharmacy ethics class. Yeah…. I should… #
  • To get Ensure covered, you sorta need to shop in the non "Plus Sizes" area of the store. #
  • How does "I want my pills all filled at the same time" go with "I just saw the doctor and got this new Rx i want filled RIGHT NOW". #
  • So to all the MD's out there: "Do patients treat you all like absolute shit or is this only restricted to pharmacies?" #
  • The "Waaah I want 90 day supply but don't want to pay for 90 day supply" song and dance is getting REALLY FUCKING OLD. #
  • I think @BurbDoc is really me in a parallel universe where I went to med school instead of pharm school. If we ever meet, reality will tear. #
  • Argument out front. So not getting involved. Involves Soma. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-02

  • Tell me how you can be on TB Direct Observed Therapy and take a month long trip to the Phillipines? #
  • I think I should be @BurbDoc's social media manager. #
  • I wonder what the looks would be if a Dr wrote a standing order for a DRE. #
  • Pt: "I brought you a new Rx! Why isnt it ready" Me: "You brought it here?" Pt: "No, to Rite-Aid!" Me: *sigh* #
  • Its the first, im in a piss-poor shitty mood, and my tech is singing/dancing to the radio. Visit me in jail! #
  • He's singing that "Sensual Healing" song while dancing. Then he just said "IM ON TEAM TAP". Yeah, he's dead. #
  • TECH! PREPARE MY WOOD CHIPPER! NOW JUMP IN TO TEST IT OUT! #
  • Who wants to contest against me in the AST/ALT olympics? @BurbDoc? @bungeechump? #
  • What the world needs is more Donkey Punching. #
  • More Mail! Dear @BurbDoc. If a crackhead and a drug rep jump out of a plane without a parachute, which one will hit the ground first? #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-01

  • If I were Link, and today was Zelda; Id be facing Ganon with 1/2 a heart of life and no silver arrows. 🙁 #
  • RPh Friend who works @ Target: "Hey Interns, you ever hear of angrypharmacist?" Interns: "Nope" Me: ":( lame". #
  • Have to catch a plane RIGHT NOW and Dr wrote "Do not fill until 2/1/11 on your Methadone".i'm not the only who thinks your full of shit. #
  • I think @BurbDoc is either an ex-Pharmacist, or a pharmacist in disguise. #
  • I'd be happy if my store sold branded beer. "Pharmacist tested, Pharmacist approved *hic*"! #
  • I've warned you for 2 months that this drug is going to be taken off forumlary. Did you plan ahead? Nope. Enjoy your $500 lazyness tax. #
  • WTF is this song on the radio that has the lyrics "Buckle Front Seat". Obviously music writers are as intellegent as my patients. #
  • That cant be the right lyrics. I must be on crack. #
  • I'm going to start a new PPI, Placeboprazole. #
  • Oh shit, my patent is almost out. Introducing Desplaceboprazole! #
  • Also releasing Fuckyouprazole, stfuprazole, and asshatprazole. #
  • All of which have a better chance of succeeding over Livalo, and its active metabolite beatingadeadhorsestatin. #