Angry Tweets for 2011-02-09

  • Might go to tahoe for the CHSP convention next month. CE? Nah, drinking with old classmates, YES! #
  • Hm, if I sneak booze into the CE, I can kill 2 birds with one stone. Drinking & Powernap while earning CE's? YES! #
  • This patient is a prime example of Avagadros Fail. Thats 6.022×10^23 or 1 Mole of Fail. #
  • Flattered that people think my snarky commentary is similar to @pennjillette No, he's not a pharmacist, but he's my hero. #
  • I'll believe in those "water saving" toliets when my turds either get smaller, or toliets develop telekinetic flushing augmentations. #
  • Farting -> Joke that never gets old // Sharting -> Day ruiner. Walk that line carefully. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-08

  • You can plan a fucking vacation, but you can't plan to refill your meds BEFORE you're out. #
  • Dear women of the ghetto. Babies are not Pez and your vagina is not a Pez dispenser. Close your legs or foot the bill yourself. #
  • Why am I somehow to blame for YOUR insurance plan/coverage? I didn't sign up for this piece of shit! I didn't get duped by a salesman! #
  • Being homeless is not an excuse for being fucking lazy. Just sayin. #
  • If you have the ambition to wipe your own ass, i'll show you where the paper is. However don't expect me to wipe your ass for you. #
  • Pt: "Well then I'll just die and i'll be your fault" Me: "*shrug* Its your life, do what you want" Pt: "WAIT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CARE!" #
  • I'm putting clonidine in root-beer with grenadine. I'm calling it DUUUURRRRRzip. #
  • I've eaten so much Fruit Nut Mix today that I'm going to shit out Mr Peanut riding a giant Baby-Ruth bar. #
  • If you are friendly and ask us how our day is going, you want an early refill on your narcotics #PHARMACYPROTIP #
  • Tech: "We are out of Golly-Telly!". Me: "wtf? OH, GoLYTELY!" #
  • No bitch, its not because we faxed the dr an hour ago for your rf, its b/c God hates poor people. #
  • WHERE THE FUCK IS @BURBDOC!?!?!??!?!?! #
  • Hey woman out front with the sour look on your face. Im at work every day to eat, you don't have to work to eat. I pay copays, you dont. #
  • If marijuana becomes legal, who wants to get the patent on Vicodin/Soma impregnated rolling papers with me! Anyone? #

Vaccines, Autism, and Dipshit Jenny McCarthy

By the time you read this, the Vaccine = Autism published by the BJM will be old news (Yes, I do write a bunch of rants at once and have them post at a later date).  However lets take a closer look at this whole situation.

Lets keep in mind that I don’t belittle Autism or think its “not important”.  I’m hoping to not only find out what the cause is, but how to prevent it.  Autism, like Down Syndrome, happens and we aren’t sure exactly why or how.   Take a look at how many drugs are out there (that kill people no less) that the mechanism of action is “Undetermined”.  Are you throwing a shit-fest over those? No.  Is some random dipshit actor standing on his/her soapbox about that? Nope.

First off, Jenny McCarthy.  The woman who is best known for her blond hair and big fake tits speaks the gospel about how vaccines contribute to autism. The whole fact that people LISTEN and BELIEVE her shit makes me want to blow the brains out of 99% of society.  She should stick to what she does best, being being eye-candy.  We don’t need “actors” to be the voice of medicine, politics, or anything else that they know jack and shit about.  Lets be realistic, if you listen (and believe) any non-medically trained person’s bullshit about medicine, you are an idiot. Do I ask the random homeless guy on the street how to fix the breaker box in my house?  No. Do people come into my store and ask me how to replace the water-pump in their Escalade?  No. However some random dipshit actor “speaks out” on a topic and people run and proclaim the word like it was given by Oprah herself.  Yes, it sucks that her child is autistic.  It sucks that /any/ child is autistic.  However it sucks MORE that kids need to suffer a preventable diseases because their mom listens to such propaganda given by a non-medically trained person.  I’m sorry Jenny, but I am no longer fapping to pictures of you out of sheer disappointment.  I hope we can still be friends.

Second on the chopping block, the Lancet.  I had somewhat high regard for the Lancet, having used their studies while I was in school.  How in the hell could they let such a bullshit study be published? A study group of 12?  A high school science project has more people in their study group!  But oh-no, its the whole “think of the children” mentality that got this clusterfuck of a study published vs good logical science.  Good going Lancet, now you can “think of the children” as the unwashed idiots don’t immunize their children and they die a preventable death.  I’m planning on releasing a study showing how Vicodin and Soma use cause laziness and stupidity.  My sample size is 20, I hope you publish my study.

Third, and most favorite: Andrew Wakefield.  Dude, when you publish a study with a sample group of 12 on a medication that MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people have received without incident, didn’t you take a step back and think to yourself “Man, maybe something is a bit wrong”.  No, you didn’t.  You published your bullshit to the Lancet, got your 20 seconds of fame, freaked the fuck out of a bunch of ignorant dipshits because you are were a licensed Doctor and thereby had the inherit trust that goes along with the degree.  If you were selling penis pumps (because thats really all you can do now), I wouldn’t even buy one of those from you because your study group would be 12 men who used it!  You did a huge disservice to the profession of medicine.  Your fellow colleagues hate you, nurses and pharmacists hate you, and to be completely blunt you and the Lancet should be brought up on criminal charges for the damage you have done.  You should go have sex with Jenny McCarthy so maybe the common sense recessive trait could be expressed in your children.

Fourth (and finally) the parents who refuse to immunize because of Autism:  I’m a parent – so this hits close to home. To be completely honest its not the job of the government nor any governmental authority to make you vaccinate your child.  Its your child, you can do whatever you want.  However, that being said, if your child develops any preventable disease because you decided to listen to an ACTOR via the INTERNET vs listening to your DOCTOR (I can see how you can confuse the two, they end in -CTOR) YOU should receive zero state aid while the CHILD gets the treatment he/she deserves on our dime (its not the child’s fault their parents are dipshits, so why should they get shafted out of treatment?).  That’s right, no welfare or any public assistance for YOU because YOU decided to not listen to someone who deals medicine for a living.  You can sleep soundly in bed listening to your child squeal with pertussis knowing full well they won’t get the evil Autism because of your good judgment. Right after that, please stick a road-flare up your vagina, because we don’t need more idiots like you breeding.

I will commend BJM to putting an end to this madness, unfortunately its too little too late.  The damage has been done, the lines have been drawn, and you aren’t going to change the opinion of the uneducated idiots.  After all, you are just a “propaganda machine for big Pharma”.  Oh, and calling Jenny McCarthy an actor is a stretch, even in my book.

But wait! Theres more!  For your enjoyment, straight from YouTube, I present my heros Penn (he should have been a Pharmacist!) and Teller’s episode of Bullshit about this very subject:

Part 1:


Part 2:


Angry Tweets for 2011-02-05

  • If you see my work on the 5:00 news for anal rapage, I'm the victim. #
  • While some places have been getting feet of snow, I'm suffering a pandemic of stupidty. #
  • I should teach a pharmacy ethics class. Yeah…. I should… #
  • To get Ensure covered, you sorta need to shop in the non "Plus Sizes" area of the store. #
  • How does "I want my pills all filled at the same time" go with "I just saw the doctor and got this new Rx i want filled RIGHT NOW". #
  • So to all the MD's out there: "Do patients treat you all like absolute shit or is this only restricted to pharmacies?" #
  • The "Waaah I want 90 day supply but don't want to pay for 90 day supply" song and dance is getting REALLY FUCKING OLD. #
  • I think @BurbDoc is really me in a parallel universe where I went to med school instead of pharm school. If we ever meet, reality will tear. #
  • Argument out front. So not getting involved. Involves Soma. #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-02

  • Tell me how you can be on TB Direct Observed Therapy and take a month long trip to the Phillipines? #
  • I think I should be @BurbDoc's social media manager. #
  • I wonder what the looks would be if a Dr wrote a standing order for a DRE. #
  • Pt: "I brought you a new Rx! Why isnt it ready" Me: "You brought it here?" Pt: "No, to Rite-Aid!" Me: *sigh* #
  • Its the first, im in a piss-poor shitty mood, and my tech is singing/dancing to the radio. Visit me in jail! #
  • He's singing that "Sensual Healing" song while dancing. Then he just said "IM ON TEAM TAP". Yeah, he's dead. #
  • Who wants to contest against me in the AST/ALT olympics? @BurbDoc? @bungeechump? #
  • What the world needs is more Donkey Punching. #
  • More Mail! Dear @BurbDoc. If a crackhead and a drug rep jump out of a plane without a parachute, which one will hit the ground first? #

Angry Tweets for 2011-02-01

  • If I were Link, and today was Zelda; Id be facing Ganon with 1/2 a heart of life and no silver arrows. 🙁 #
  • RPh Friend who works @ Target: "Hey Interns, you ever hear of angrypharmacist?" Interns: "Nope" Me: ":( lame". #
  • Have to catch a plane RIGHT NOW and Dr wrote "Do not fill until 2/1/11 on your Methadone".i'm not the only who thinks your full of shit. #
  • I think @BurbDoc is either an ex-Pharmacist, or a pharmacist in disguise. #
  • I'd be happy if my store sold branded beer. "Pharmacist tested, Pharmacist approved *hic*"! #
  • I've warned you for 2 months that this drug is going to be taken off forumlary. Did you plan ahead? Nope. Enjoy your $500 lazyness tax. #
  • WTF is this song on the radio that has the lyrics "Buckle Front Seat". Obviously music writers are as intellegent as my patients. #
  • That cant be the right lyrics. I must be on crack. #
  • I'm going to start a new PPI, Placeboprazole. #
  • Oh shit, my patent is almost out. Introducing Desplaceboprazole! #
  • Also releasing Fuckyouprazole, stfuprazole, and asshatprazole. #
  • All of which have a better chance of succeeding over Livalo, and its active metabolite beatingadeadhorsestatin. #