Angry Tweets for 2011-11-30

  • Yeah, Lipitor goes generic soon, big fucking deal. Wake me up when they make Vicodin OTC, thats something that will wet my panties. #
  • The amount of shit I have seen in the last 2 days cannot be expressed in words, only shots of alcohol. #
  • The Twilight movie made a bazillion dollars, yet California cant even pay my cost on trade name medication on MediCal. FML #

Angry Tweets for 2011-11-25

  • People as we speak are lined up overnight in front of stores. These same people cant wait 20mins for their Rx's to be properly filled. FML #
  • I mean really, people are really that fucking stupid. They will wait in line OVERNIGHT yet bitch when YOU have to order something. #
  • To make matters worse, they are getting a $300 TV for 25-35% off, but their $500 drugs are 100% off. AND THEY ARENT FUCKING HAPPY. #
  • So this holiday season, be thankful your pharmacist has the patience and ethics to not tell your ungrateful sorry ass to fuck off and die. #
  • No.. Seriously.. There is a fucking LINE in front of stores right now. If Walmart blew up right now, i'd lose 80% of my patients. #
  • If I had a crooked MD with me and started selling vicodin and soma to these idiots in the lines, we could retire tonight. #
  • Oh wait, they would complain that its not fucking covered, and I couldn't count it fast enough. AS THEY WAIT IN A STORE OPENING LINE. #
  • These are the same fucks who "will pay me on the first" for their $3.10 copay, but will shell out $200 for a new TV TONIGHT. #

All in the same boat

Before I continue on my usual tirade of broad stereotypes, foul language, and shit that makes Drug Topics avoid me like a crackhead the night before a holiday weekend; this post is dedicated to the brave men and women who risk their sanity day in and day out so the ungrateful masses can focus on your petty first-world problems.

I’m talking about people who work with the public.  Hair dressers, Pharmacists, Doctors, cashiers. The kid who bags your groceries to the checkout line clerk to the nice lady who takes your order at the fast food joint.  You know who they are, they greet you with a smile and a silent anxious look in their eyes that you won’t rip their head off over something that is completely out of their control.

What sparked this?  A visit to the supermarket.  They were having problems with their ATM/Credit Card thingy.  The cashier said outright “Im sorry, but we’re having system problems processing ATM/Credit/EBT cards, it make take a try or two for it to go through”.  The ungrateful waste of skin proceeded to give her both barrels about how this was unacceptable, that they should have their system fixed, they should have a system in place to fix this, should have, should have, should have (notice I didn’t say ‘should of”? Be proud Mr Woo).

I was the next in line, and by the time this douchecanoe actually got his 6 pack of natural-ice with a carton of cigs ran through the one out of 3 credit cards that were not maxed out (after getting pissed that their food-stamp card can’t be used for that/it was tapped out), the poor checkout clerk nerves had been totally fried.  It only takes one asshole to ruin your day.  I gave her a smile as she rambled through the warning that the checkout computers were going in and out, blah blah blah, to which I said that there was no problem.  I realized the look in her eyes was the same look that I probably have when I miss filling a prescription that was buried in a profile and expect both barrels from the patient when they have to drive back to the store because I overlooked something.  I was kind and patient, and she gave me a sincere thank you.  I told her that I work with the public too and its like she knew that I understood her pain.

I’ll be upfront.  I have never sent back food anywhere because it wasn’t up to my standards.  Even if its the absolutely wrong thing I just eat it.  I tip the person who cuts my hair the same even if its a horrible job or the best job they ever did.  Someone fucks up putting the price in wrong at the grocery store and I don’t get that $0.50 discount I don’t say a word.  People say that I just reinforce the mediocre half-ass-is-okay work-skill that plagues our working class.  I say that I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ that makes people drink as heavily as retail pharmacists do.

You ever stop and realize that the assholes of the public will gladly wait in line for 15 mins for a seat at a restaurant, but can’t be bothered to wait 15 mins for their 5 (free) prescriptions?  Interesting isn’t it.

During the supermarket incident, I realized that all of us who work with the public are in the same boat.  We deal with the same assholes, the same impatient fucks, the same douches who bitch that their prescription isn’t ready yet when the power is obviously out and I’m trying to keep the pharmacy systems up while a generator is obviously screaming behind the store.  I can always tell when a patient of mine works with the public.  They are pretty nice, easy going, and realize that sometimes shit happens.  They patiently wait for their prescription, and use the foreign words we never hear like “please” and “thank you”.  They are mindful of our time and actually show appreciation to the service that we give them.  How foreign is that in a pharmacy?

Its ironic that the most important aspect of retail pharmacy isn’t all the drug-drug interactions, the kinetics (learned for the test, then quickly forgotten; never to be used again), knowing the pharmacology of benzodiazepines, or even the rationale behind giving someone an ACE-I in CHF; its dealing with the unwashed masses.  The most important aspect (and the #1 cause of burnout) that is just blatantly ignored in pharmacy school.  “You’ll just learn it on the job” they say as your day is shattered by someone yelling at you who have never worked a day in their life.  Thats like teaching you how to swim by throwing you into the deep end and yelling “You learn by doing” as you slowly sink to the bottom.

Pharmacy school should have a class that is like a boot camp, you get yelled at each class so you’re used to dealing with idiots who give you both barrels over the most stupid things. You learn how to defuse situations.  Ah shit, who am I kidding.  Pharmacy schools would probably teach you to use fruity ‘touchy phrases’ like:  “You know by saying that, you hurt my feelings and make me feel less about myself” to which the patient would reply “Good, you’re fucking stupid, my vicodin is due now, not next week”.  Color me surprised that pharmacy schools are so out of touch with the ‘real world’ that they wouldn’t know their poop-chute from a hole in the ground.

I realize that this post isn’t your usual swear word ridden bitchfest, but fear not, I take care of my readers (sorta).  If you want to re-post this article, this would be a good time to stop copy/pasting.

So to all of you ungrateful fucking assholes out there who decide to ruin the day of us who get our asses up every fucking morning so we can serve you, heres a fucking tip from the guy who double-counts your fucking dope so you don’t come back and say that I shorted you.  Get a fucking job, work with the fucking public, see what its like to deal with your own fucking kind.  Get your day shot to shit because you had to serve a fucking asshole like yourself with the social skills of a fucking steaming turd baking in the afternoon sun.  Get a dose of your own fucking medicine.  The world owes you shit.  Be thankful you live in a fucking world that we accept you for the shit you do to us day in and day out and don’t take you out back and shove our boots in your fucking yappy twatty mouths.  If you think you can take your bad day out on us, feel fucking free; but beware, theres nothing I can really do to you in pharmacy, but I’m sure the server would be more than happy to let your fucking food you sent back 3 times because your steak “wasn’t cooked enough” fall on the floor a few fucking times when you’re not looking.

I hope I filled your use of the fucking word ‘fucking’ per post requirement.

Angry Tweets for 2011-11-08

  • Man, my wrists sure are sore from the handcuffs. #occupypharmacy #
  • Why did I go into pharmacy? To get lied to? To get verbally abused by the entitled masses? Fuck helping people. #myfootoccupiesyourass #
  • I mean really, for that 1 patient that we truly help, we have to shovel the 5 patient-loads of lies, bullshit, and drama. #
  • If I do you a fucking favor, I expect a 'thank you'. Its not entitlement on my part, its being a decent fucking human being with manners. #
  • Because if it wasn't for us, you'd be dead already by some drug-drug interaction that a machine would have decided as 'insignificant'. #
  • Society needs a fucking punch in the face, a kick in the balls, and 2 scoops of earning what you fucking work hard for. Fuck handouts. #
  • The PBM's fuck us, the chain stores fuck us, APhA is too busy with MTM to care about fucking us, the patients verbally fuck us. #
  • The state boards are waiting until we drop the soap to fuck us. #
  • Pharmacy is getting fucked so hard that not even anusol-HC, Prep-H, and a total anal resection can fix the damage. #
  • You know what sucks? Ninjas. What sucks more? Ninjas who want their vicodin early. Dont ask me how I came up with this. #
  • Hey crackheads with a nicer phone than mine, ask Siri when your fucking vicodin is due. #
  • If I get an automated call from Siri demanding an early vicodin refill, I swear I'm going on a fucking rampage with a machete. #
  • "Siri, what pharmacy in town has the OC's instead of the OP's" #