Angry Tweets for 2012-04-26

  • "This genetic drug dont work for me!" "Well then you can pay for brand name." "This genetic drug works damn good for me!" #
  • So for those of you NOT in pharmacy, when I talk about a "genetic" drug, I mean generic, because patients love calling generic "genetic". #
  • I got interviewed today: "What is advice you would give to someone going into your profession?" "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *snort* HAHAHAHA!!!" #
  • If I used 4square it would be: Work, home, liquor store, home, work, liquor store, titty bar, liquor store, titty bar, work, home, work. #
  • I think I just found my long lost twin. This isn't good if we get together. #
  • I dont always deny your early fill… But when I do I lol at you after you leave the store #pharmacymemes #
  • PUBLIC! Y U NO TAKE SHOWER! #pharmacymemes #
  • Not sure if playing dumb….. Or on too many vicodin….. #pharmacymemes #
  • Does anyone else but me think that if we shaped aerochambers like penises it would be funny? The MDI could be the balls. #drunkTAP #
  • Pharmacy Protip: "For Rectal Use Only" aux stickers have 100000 + 1 uses for making your day a little funnier. Dont ask. #

Angry Tweets for 2012-04-19

  • Protip: If you need to bring in your wife to explain a early methadone fill, make sure shes less fucked up as you are. #
  • OH GOD QUIT CRYING ON THE COUNTER! ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR LIFE SUCKS SO QUIT BLAMING ME. #
  • Time to see whats in The Angry Liquor Cabinet… Fuck, this is either going to be a good night or a vomitorium. #

Angry Tweets for 2012-04-16

  • You can always tell if your female tech is married or not by how she shakes the amox suspension. #
  • How do you make every female pharm tech on the internet self concious? Call out how they shake amoxicillin. #
  • If politicians were pharmacists, they would make their techs do all the work, promise early narcs to everyone, and never show up to work. #
  • Oh, and on a narc inventory, they would clam that 500 vicodin were 'smashed and broken' and had to be disposed of. #
  • If there was a pharmacy reality show, I want to be on it. If someone made a pharmacy movie, I want a cameo on it. #
  • I want to be like Stan Lee in all the comic-book movies. I think that would fucking rule. #
  • In the movie, @Burbdoc can call in my Rx for Vicodin, Soma, Ativan, and Prometh with Codeine for which I will pay for with a check. #
  • Then 2 days later, I will "leave it all on the bus" and call the pharmacy every 2 mins until @BurbDoc approves the early fill. #
  • Best idea ever: Me having a cameo on House MD. "Early fill again House? You're as bad as the crackheads!" #
  • I would say to House "Bitch, you play an asshole on TV, I play one in real life" #

Angry Tweets for 2012-04-15

  • Last night ended and today started shitty. #
  • As long as theres coffee with your baileys thats okay right? #
  • Im looking at my lab slip and im wondering how much I can throw off my AST/ALT ratio. #
  • Im also wondering how I should answer the question "Do you consume more than 3 alcoholic beverages per week" without a red flag/lying #
  • Students: 1/4 coffee, 3/4 baileys; drank down to 1/4th volume then qs'd with baileys. Use aliquot method to determine coffee content. #
  • Man, from my tweets you'd think I had an alcohol problem, well fear not, alcohol has no problem going into my mouth. #
  • Ive determined that I have drunk down and qs'd this bailies so much, that the coffee content now can be considered a homeopathic remedy. #
  • Sometimes I wonder if its my wit or my insanity that makes me so popular/funny. #
  • I'm thinking of being a demotivational speaker for pharmacy schools. Shit I do it now for free. #

Angry Tweets for 2012-04-14

  • Watch my friday the 13th be full of happy responsible patients who dont fuss and pay their copays w/o question. #
  • "Dont got enough for my copays" but spend 2x the copay amounts on trivial useless OTC crap? GTFO you fucking waste of a soul. #
  • Do hookers get to write off panties, lipstick, condoms and listerine as a business expense? #
  • "No sir, I can't sell you that stock bottle of 100 sudafed 60 on account of your lack of teeth and transmission fluid on your shirt" #
  • I love it when crackheads try to flirt with me. Bitch I know you dont want me, you just want the keys to the store. #gtfocrackhead #
  • I hear a story being told out front involving narcotics. Glad to see friday the 13th is just another day in paradise. #
  • I think in a past life i was an ER doctor. I have this urge to blowgun all my patients with Narcan laced darts. #
  • Uh oh, hide, @burbdoc is all fired up on shitty parents (good thing he doesn't work here!). #
  • There are 2 walks of life that do not follow me, one with the little verified check-mark, and ppl who have worked in porn. #
  • Shit, I always thought if someone was nice to me and gave me stuff for free I was supposed to be grateful and polite, fuck was I wrong. #
  • Friday, almost closing time, im waiting for the truckload of peeps with "Im going out of town RIGHT NOW" stories to storm in. #
  • Oh, that didn't take long, one is out front telling their story right now. Avagadros FML. #
  • HAHAHA NO IM NOT PAGING THE MD FOR AN EARLY NARC REFILL. #
  • I swear, there is not a better cleanser than crackhead tears on your counter. Planning ahead, maybe now you'll learn. #
  • WTF I just got asked for a price quote for 360 Oxycontin 80. I almost said "Your first born", but I might get what I asked for. #
  • Corny joke of the day. Insurance doesnt pay for your atorvastatin and you don't want to pay for it, so you get no-vastatin. #

Angry Tweets for 2012-04-13

  • Bitching over a $5 copay on a $400 Rx is a sign that yes, you are a fucking tool, and yes, you deserve a punch in the throat. #
  • "Im a Pharmacist" // "Can you get me some vicodin?" // "Oh sure, come on in and i'll just give you some you fucking druggie" #hsreunion #
  • We have pts asking when "Obama is going to pay for their drugs!" They are Medicare/Medicaid…. Soylent green I tell you, soylent green. #
  • Love your life? Think you have the world by the balls? On cloud-nine of joy? Fix all that by starting an exciting career in retail pharmacy! #
  • Retail pharmacy is like being a female porn star; you get paid, you get dicked day in and day out, and only once in a while you get yours. #
  • You may love the job, and love the profession, but getting deep dicked by insurance companies and the public make it miserable. #
  • You may think the grass is greener on the other side, until you realize that you still get dicked, its just owned by a different person. #
  • Students always say im being too negative, until they get out and work for a year. Then they praise how right I really am. Well Duh. #
  • For those optimistic students who think "Oh, my career will be different", I have news for you. Its not. #
  • I could participate in #top100Lies but I really would have 100 lies to get vicodin early. #
  • I just used the words 'burning' , 'junk', and 'sadfaced' in a capsacian cream consultation. Who's got 2 thumbs and doesnt give a shit? #
  • You want #Top100Lies for a living? Try retail pharmacy! You'll get 200-300-500 lies! #
  • My grandbaby stole my vicodin #top100lies #
  • My doctor said he faxed the early refill auth this morning #top100lies #
  • Anything that starts with "Okay heres what happened…" #top100lies #
  • Anything a patient says dealing with narcotics #top100lies #
  • "Hi honey how was your day"….. "Oh Fine" <– #top100lies #
  • I didn't pick up my pain pills from another pharmacy last week #top100lies #
  • Yeah, I have my insurance card right here #top100lies #
  • No, I didn't add 5 refills to that oxycontin prescription #top100lies #
  • The doctor said I could get it early, I have a 'standing order' for soma #top100lies #
  • My doctor called in my methadone #top100lies #