Angry Tweets for 2012-09-29

  • All in favor of putting winning lotto numbers on the Rx label so the pts will actually READ THE FUCKING THINGS say Aye… AYE! #
  • "Have my meds been ok'd yet?" *Looking through 5 non-narcs and one vicodin thats not been ok'd* "Nope, not your vicodin" "DAMN OKAY BYE!" #
  • If you call more than 3 times a day nagging me about your narc refills, you get a complementary CURES report faxed to all your doctors. #
  • You want to fix the profession of pharmacy? Allow us to drink on the job, allow us to charge a restocking fee, and dump gift cards. #
  • No joke, QOTW: "But Walmart filled 240 soma for me last week, why cant I get these from you today." Soma, killing brain-cells since 1959. #

Angry Tweets for 2012-09-22

  • I hate it when random idiots walk up when we call someone elses name as if its them. Learn your fucking name dipshit. #
  • Even my fucking dog knows its own name. Theres no reason why you cant learn how your own name sounds. #
  • And dont give me this "Well its not their native language" bullshit, they know enough to collect a fucking check every month. #
  • Unless you're a fan of giving an idiot someone elses medicine because they walk up all derpy when its busy to someone elses name. #
  • Warning stickers have done more harm to the human race than anything else put together. Way to shit in the gene pool warning stickers! #
  • Jesus fuck its been an uphill day today. Fucking shit be over please. #
  • FUCK! Friday after all the MD's have their phones rolled over. Cue the PITA pt who needs his shit OMFG RIGHT NOW. #
  • Some days all we need to keep from drinking ourselves to death is a smile and a thank you. Thats all. #
  • Okay, tell me twitter, how fucking hard it is to read on your bottle "0 refills remaining"? #
  • Its like we're asking the patients to do quantum physics by calling in early when they have no refills left. #
  • Is it really that fucking hard? They can work the lotto machine but cant read a fucking pill bottle? #
  • But oh, they sure can remember how many refills they had on their fucking vicodin and soma Rx's can they. They call those in 4 weeks early. #
  • I mean for crying out fucking loud, READ THE FUCKING BOTTLE. You can buy the right brand of Cigs so I know you can fucking read. #
  • I swear, sometimes I think the only way to get a simple concept through their brain is write it on a scratcher or a pack of cigs. #

Trying to not kill your patients.

Yeah yeah, I havent been posting.  Lets get the fuck over that and go into how I almost ended a patient’s life today with nothing more than a counting tray, and a glass pint bottle of prometh with codeine (dont even start to tell me you haven’t thought of doing it).

There is a little known fact that when you, the patient, call in your prescription numbers we usually get started on filling them.  Oh, by ‘little known fact’ I really mean common fucking sense.

So when you, the patient, call in 10 rx numbers, you can probably safely assume that we are going to start filling them.  We are going to fill them with staff that the store pays for to fill prescriptions.  The store gets to pay for their employees with money gained from filling your prescriptions.  Again, I realize this is fucking rocket science to some people, but to the majority of the non-paste eaters out there this is as surprising as not-winning when you play the Lotto.

Therefore, when you the patient come in to pick up your 10 rx’s (which if you didnt think they would be filled why the fuck would you come in), and decide to tell ME (of all people) “Oh, well these are a bit expensive can you transfer them to Walmart”  why in the fuck would you would be shocked when I say “No”.  I mean its not like you paid THE EXACT SAME FUCKING COPAYS LAST MONTH.  So this month copays shouldn’t be any surprise you dim-witted sack of shit.  Did the medication-fairy magically make the drugs free? Did we have a bumper crop on the Soma tree so we’re just giving it away now?  Fucking shit I was two seconds away from taking those drug bottles and shoving them up their ass sideways.

Not only that, you have the nerve to glare at me when I say “You know, its pretty rude when you called all these in, we spent all this time filling these, and now you want them to be transferred to a Walmart.  Its like ordering food at a place then sending it back once it gets put on the table saying ‘I’m going to another restaurant because their steak is cheaper’.”  I realize that the concept of analogy is hard to understand with your two brain cells, but the point I’m trying to get through your thick skull is that its a pretty dickish mood to have me do all this work to undo it an hour later.  I don’t give a fuck about your “limited income” excuse that you throw around to get what you want.  Being on a limited income isn’t a license to be a fucking twat and waste the stores “limited income” and my time when I could be helping patients who actually have their shit together.

FUCK.  I feel better now.  Really, no bullshit, I really do feel better.

So to answer the question you all may be asking; yes, I did transfer the prescription.  However I called Walmart and warned them about this dillhole’s antics.  The pharmacist said “Oh I absolutely hate it when they do that, i’ll make them stand here before we even think about starting them.”  Problem solved.  Although pharmacy as a whole is going down the shitter, I’m glad that us, as Pharmacists, are willing to stand up and get even on behalf of each other, especially for uncalled for bullshit like this.

 

Angry Tweets for 2012-09-13

  • Theres no mistake why Fentanyl, Friend, Fantastic, and Fabulous all start with the same letter. Oh, Versed is good too. #
  • QOTD during my procedure "I need more fentanyl. My face isnt numb and I haven't asked for an early refill yet" <– WTF? #
  • Then I got Versed, and the next thing I remember I was drinking out of a juice box while eating Wienerschnitzel. #
  • I dont remember how I got dressed, the car-ride home. My wife just said that I just repeated "I LOVE FENTANYL" over and over and over. #

Angry Tweets for 2012-09-12

  • Alright bitches, its almost showtime. GoLytely is chillin in the fridge.. The 4 docusate are ready to go, and im fucking starving. #
  • Alright, 4 ducolax are down, time for glass #1 #tapLytely #
  • Oh sweet jesus, this stuff tastes like ice cold piss #
  • Like seriously, this crap tastes horrible, and the flavor packets just give it a nasty after-taste. #tapLytely #
  • I have this sorta full bloaty feeling like my insides are going to have sex with a garden hose any moment. #taplytely #
  • You should see me. Shirtless (dont wanna hold it up the entire performance, pants around ankles, with magazines and OH SHIT. I FEEL SMTHING #
  • fuck you trilyte flavor packets, I bought green gatoraide powder. I want to use a blacklight afterwards to see how bad i splattered the can #
  • Good seal around toliet seat.. CHECK. Good hand holds for leverage.. CHECK. Plenty of TP.. CHECK. Phone so I can call for help.. CHECK. #
  • Pre-Lytely checklist is done. Waiting for launch. Currently waiting on the launchpad. #tapLytely #
  • Almost time for glass #2 The green tint of gatoraide makes this appear half way appealing. #tapLytely #
  • Oh my god its like the incredible hulk just came in my mouth. This shit can't be made palateable! #taplytely #
  • I just ran to get the power adapter to my laptop and a spoon. Its like the hot-potato game but with fluid in my asshole. Daring! #taplytely #
  • Man, I dont like this.. Nothing yet and im almost glass 3 in. When it goes, its going to be like a sewer main breaking #taplytely #
  • Glass 3, this time i actually stirred in the gatoraide and OH FFS WAY TOO MUCH POWDER #
  • fuck pants, im sitting on the can butt naked with just my socks on. I feel like a male porn star. #
  • If my wife comes in seeing me butt naked on twitter with just my socks on, im going to have a lot of explaining to do #tapLytely #
  • Oh damn Gina. I think its showtime! #
  • Glass 4. HULK SMASH! HULK FINISH IN TAPS MOUTH! HULK MAKE TAP PEE OUT OF BUTTHOLE! #tapLytely #
  • I swear that APhA should give me an award for the advancement of pharmacy via social media. #tapLytely #
  • glass 4 and nothing.. Oh.. wait.. I think its time for launch? #
  • I must say that #tapLytely is a whole lot more entertaining than the typical twitter politics and 9/11 rehashing thats going on today. #
  • Glass 5. Thats 40oz of fluid in my GI track #
  • My gut holds the same quantity of fluid as a bottle of Old English. Probably tastes the same too. #
  • So for drinking 40oz i dont feel nearly as bloated as you would think #
  • OH MY FUCKING GOD. #
  • I can see why the non-compliance of this treatment is so high. #
  • I'm going to post a full write-up of my experiences on my site when i get done. Patients need to be informed on what to expect. #
  • 10 min's go by so fast, and the fluid level in this jug goes down so slowly. #tapLytely #
  • I'm still alive. Its pretty anticlimatic. Sit around, asspee, sit around.. asspee. I think the exciting part has passed. #
  • I have never been so afraid to sneeze in my life. #tapLytely #

Angry Tweets for 2012-09-11

  • Reminder, my live tweetcast of a gallon of go-lytely doing the indy 500 through my GI track starts tomrorow, ~7pm Pacific. #
  • Regarding Tomorrow: "This shit is going to be off the hook! And down my legs, and splattered on the back of my balls, my ass, etc" #
  • I have instructed the wife go stock up on toliet paper. Or maybe a ShamWOW. #taplytely #
  • There must be an impatient asshole crackhead virus going around. Day has been nothing but them. #
  • In 24 hours I will be preventing lift-off and nursing the biggest hickey on my ass-cheeks ever. #
  • So if I swallow a bag full of gummi-bears whole, then chase it with go-lytely, i wonder if ATF would consider that a firearm. #