A pharmacist example for non-pharmacists.

Holy shit, its almost been a year.

No, Im not dead.  Just took a small vacation from the site.  Family, work, etc.  It happens.

Ive been going through the (years worth) of comments posted to this site, and from what I can see, they seem to follow a common trend:

  1. Im an asshole, and all pharmacists are assholes.  All of them, but when its time to refill your Norco they are your savior and best friend.
  2. Fibromyalgia is real, I’m an asshole for thinking otherwise.  Santa is also real.  Ever notice how spell-checkers always get hung up on fibromyalgia like its a word that doesn’t exist?  Interesting. (OH COME ON, LET ME POKE SOME FUN)
  3. Tell me your entire life story to justify your usage of pain pills to try to convince yourself that you’re not a crackhead.  If you don’t think you are a crackhead, then you probably aren’t. Convincing the internet with some 10 page paper on how you got hurt, and SSI denied you, and you’re on ALL THESE MEDICATIONS and the mean pharmacist wont refill them early because your crackhead kid’s friend “stole them”, blah blah blah isn’t going to help your issue.

That pretty much sums it up.  Im sad for humanity.

On a lighter note, I want to put something into perspective for those non-pharmacists out there who think we just stand there, drink coffee, and deny your pain pills while laughing manically.  Just bare with me.

Imagine you own a small cell-phone dealership.  You carry all sorts of cell-phones, from the latest Android, to the iPhone, to the big bricks in the bag from back when we all had mullets.  So many fucking cell phones people come in and go “holy fuck! you have a lot of cell phones”.  You also have a big button to make them all ring at once just because you are that much of a badass.  Is your dick hard from cell-phone envy? Mine is; I’m typing this one handed actually.

Anyway, a customer comes in with a letter from T-Mobile.  The letter says “Dear badass cell-phone dealer, please allow my member to purchase ONE iPHONE”.  You happily take the letter, and give your customer a shiny new iPhone.  Your customer is so fucking happy because his baby-momma keeps on calling, and his old phone just isn’t working as well as it should be.  You go to the cash register;

“That’ll be $200 for the phone please” you ask with a smile.

“What the fuck! I don’t have any money! This is supposed to be free! I have a VISA card” the customer yells rudely like you insulted his mother

“Okay, do you have the card so I can process it through VISA?” you respond.

“No.  Call up VISA and get the number for me” as the crackhe..er..customer caresses his new iFre..er..iPhone.

Let me pause the exercise right here.  Would you, as a customer who goes ANYWHERE make the store clerk/cashier/etc CALL YOUR CREDIT CARD COMPANY for your credit card number?  Am I the only one who thinks if you asked this you would be laughed all the way out the front door?  No? Good.  Lets continue.

After 20 mins, you finally get the VISA number of your BELOVED customer.  You punch it into your little device and an error spits out:

“TRANSACTION DENIED, VISA CUSTOMER MUST USE ANDROID PHONE”

Oh shit, looks like Google is fucking Visa.  You gingerly tell the customer that his card will not pay for his nice iPhone because his credit card company wants him to use an Android phone.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN! T-MOBILE SAID I NEED AN iPHONE!”

You kindly explain that if he wants an iPhone, that he would either have to pay for it, or you can contact T-Mobile to see which Android phone would be the best fit for you so Visa will cover the cost.

The customer throws the iPhone at you, and storms out mumbling that the cell-phone shop down the street will get him his iPhone.  You restock the iPhone and proceed to repeat this same conversation about 4 times before you get to go home.

So the story ends.  That customer was a dick right? I mean it wasn’t the pharmaci..er..cell store owner’s fault that his insur-….credit card company didnt cover his iPho..damn…medications!  I mean what kind of asshole would blow up at someone who is doing their best to help them out?

One word answers this question: EVERYONE.  EVERY-FUCKING-SINGLE-ONE.  Welcome to retail pharmacy, here is your tough skin and alcohol habit.

It sucks to get yelled at, and it sucks even more when you are getting yelled at over something that is 100% out of your control.  If you are one of those “Oh, well they make 100k a year to get yelled at” idiots go fuck yourself.  Any decent human-fucking-being with a soul doesn’t like to be yelled at day in and day out while doing their job of helping people.  Especially when you are getting yelled at while you are trying to HELP them.  The money is there for our knowledge to keep you from doing something stupid and dying, not to be your own personal fucking punching bag.

Its good to be back bitches.