SOMABOTS, TRANSFORM!

So enough with the serious posts about the idiots of the world.  This one is going to give you the knowledge to impress your friends, and frighten your enemies.  In fact, this information might get you laid!

Full disclosure: I did only enough research as look on Wikipedia.  Seriously, I was looking up what the half-life of Soma was (since my Lexi was on the shelf and I didn’t have the ambition to flip through it) and I found this information out.  Laziness provides you with yet more entertainment!

Oh, and before one of you crackheads nitpicks me for this, I use the brand names throughout this post.  Yes, I know that the only dispensed **Soma** out there is that stupid-as-shit 250 mg crap out there (which if you stock, you are a fucking tool).

We all know the drug Soma (or its generic name Carisoprodol).  We get calls about it, we get bothered about it, some of you may even be on it! (No, you can’t get an early refill).  But how much do you actually know about it?

Soma was intended as an antiseptic.  A superior antiseptic!  No bullshit!  I guess if you consider the people who are hooked on this stuff have killed all the neurons that product truthful statements, personal hygiene, common sense, month supply calculations and other socially acceptable behavior then maybe the drug did work at intended.

So it came out instead as a muscle relaxant.  For all of those chemistry nerds, I present to you two images for your consideration.

800px-Meprobamate.svg

 

 

 

 

One of these is Soma.  The drug we all know and love.  The other is a drug called Meprobamate also known as Miltown/Equanil for those of you who are close to retiring.  See a similarity?  Are you old guys out there chuckling?  (hint: Soma is on the left).

The funny thing about Miltown (other than having a stupid name) is that its a tranquilizer, and is no longer used in the United States because the benefits do not outweigh the risk.  It is considered addictive at doses not higher than therapeutic.  Gee, does this sound familiar?

Soma was a chemical modification of Meprobamate to make it better, less potential for abuse, and thereby less risk of overdose…… Where have we heard this before?  Oh wait…  Heroin!

Soma just -recently- became a controlled substance (January 2012).  Miltown has been a controlled substance since 1967.  Most countries other than the good old ‘Merica has banned or severely restricted the use of Soma due to its potentiating effects with the narcotics, alcohol, and other fun shit leading to shitty dancing, unwanted babies, pharmacist alcohol abuse, and sometimes (but not NEARLY ENOUGH) death.

Are you slapping your head yet and wonder what the fuck is wrong with this picture?  Let me spell it out for you.

Soma converts (probably a good chunk) into Miltown in the body.  Miltown has been a controlled substance since the 60’s due to abuse, and Soma JUST FUCKING RECENTLY (sorta) became a controlled substance.  Now I’m only a stupid pharmacist, but didn’t someone at the FDA and DEA a long fucking time ago look at these two chemical structures and say; “Gee, MAYBE we should make this a controlled substance right off the bat since that fucking isopropyl group on the end will just get whacked right off in the body and make Miltown.. A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE!”  Am I the first person on the planet to fucking realize this?