I admit, my shit is far from smelling like I rose. I fuck up as much as any pharmacist out there (yes, we do fuck up, more than you think and a lot more than we want).
However, you must choose your battles with your pharmacist carefully.
Its sorta okay for you to give me both barrels when you call in “all my regular monthly meds” and I miss that albuterol MDI that you filled 9 months ago because (silly me) I didnt realize it was part of your “regular monthly meds”. I mean in my world, meaning common-fucking-sense-land, the world ‘regular monthly’ means the shit you take every month; like your vicodin, soma, and the other unimportant non-narcotic shit that you take to keep your sorry ass alive. Usually I’ll send my apologies (and raise the price on your narcs for next month) and kindly ask that next time you tell me if you need anything that you dont pick up every month. Oh, and I’ll be sure to remind you of this conversation next month when I fill your albuterol and you scream at me that you don’t need it, and ask why did I fill it.
Fuck I hate not having the power to read minds… Or blow people up with a thought. I’d be the shittiest X-Men around.
However dont you ever, fucking EVER give me both barrels because your lazy sorry ass didnt realize that you had 0 refills remaining and I haven’t heard back from the doctor (and of course you’re out). Thats your fucking fault, not mine. If you want me to hold your hand like your mother, then I reserve the right to slap the living shit out of you for being fucking stupid like your mother should have.
Don’t ever make me drop everything Im doing because you need your hospital discharge meds filled RIGHT NOW that were written a fucking week ago. You waited a week to get them filled? You obviously can wait for me to get to them after I finish the Rx’s of the people patiently waiting who do have their shit together.
Don’t ever put me in the middle of your fucked up family issues because your ‘caregiver daughter’ (who has picked up your narcs for the last year) decided to sell them to get that new tattoo and you want me to get the drugs from her. Don’t even get me started with your daughters crackhead boyfriend who ‘stole’ your oxy 30’s.
Don’t ever give me both barrels and throw down the race/poverty/etc card as an excuse on why I wont fill your narcotics early. Oh, and by early, I dont mean like a day or two, I mean like 2 weeks early. Race/poverty/etc isn’t a excuse card for being stupid and not taking responsibility for your actions.
Going on vacation? See 0 refills on your bottle? Obviously you planned enough ahead to get plane tickets for your 3 month trip to a far away land yet were mentally incapable of at least giving me a week’s notice to try to get auths for your medications that (you know) you need to survive. Must be nice to go on vacation for 3 months.
Fuck, I need a drink after writing this.