Category Archives: Nurses and Hospitals

You’re wrong, i’m right because I was a Nurse.

We all get those uppity patients once in a while who think they know it all. Give a patient an inch of information thats somewhat techincal and the’ll run a mile with it. Show one www.webmd.com and they think they know as much as a pharmacist. Suggest something and you’ll get 15 printed out pages from message boards from ‘medical professionals’ (we all know doctors just sit around on message boards all day) saying how wrong you are. Sometimes I hate the internet, and wish all the patients were dumb, compliant, and happy.
One class of patient though really really bug me. Ex-Nurses. Thats right, nurses. Especially older nurses that have long since been retired. We all know that once you become an RN, it doesnt matter how long you’ve been out of practice, you must know 1000x more than my dumb-PharmD ass about the latest treatments. You’ll argue me to death about therapies and shit that you cant even prounounce let alone know whats its MOA is. I want to tell these people:
“Bitch please! When you were a nurse you only had morphine, aspirin and digoxin! You’re so dumb that you still thing MAO-I’s are first line for depression! ”
(i can hear all the pharmacists laughing at the MAO-I joke, if you’re not a pharmacist you wont get it.)
But what gets me, is that now i’m seeing not RN’s getting uppity, but like Nursing Assistants and Medical Assistants. Just because you call in prescriptions doesnt mean that you know more about the medication as I do, or can belittle me with the “Yeah, i know, im an Medical Assistant” bit.
But ya know what, these people are quick to belittle you, but are the first ones to call up with a stupid question that they should know because “They are/were a nurse”.

This is a true story

Actual conversation between a pharmacist and a nurse.
-Phone Rings
RPh – “Hello, this is the pharmacy.”
RN – “Yes, hello. I am calling to inquire about Mr. Xs medication.”
RPh – “OK, what’s going on?”
RN – “Well, the problem is this: He’s supposed to get 20 mg of this medication, but you guys sent me a 40 mg tablet.”
Rph – “OK, so what’s the problem?”
RN – “Well now, that’s not the correct dosage.”
Rph – heavy sigh…. “Here’s what you do… Take the tablet, break it in half across the score in the middle and give half the tablet to the patient.”
RN – long pause…. “Which half?”
This is the type of crap that scares the hell outta me.