Angry Tweets for 2012-08-22

  • So if there is "legitimate rape" can we have "legitimate stupidity?" Is there an ICD9 code for that? #
  • I have pill dust on the lower part of my shirt. I either am trying to get a crackhead BJ or had a 90yo man ejaculate on me. #
  • Whew! Im glad congressmen say stupid shit, or I might have to hear more about Jersey shore or the Kardashians. Thanks Congress! #
  • Im tired of all the rape/politic talk on twitter. Lets get back to stupid patients, buttholes, poop, etc. #
  • Congress in a nutshell: Bunch of whiny fucks who couldn't hold a real job if given one. Need to grow the fuck up and run the country. #
  • FUCK! A hefty prednisone taper for a pt who can barely hold a conversation. Good troll Doc. Well played.. Well played.. #
  • You can barely comprehend what im saying and you're being put on insulin? Welp, it was nice knowing you! #

Angry Tweets for 2012-08-18

  • There are two kinds of patients in the world, ones that makes you want to kill them, and ones that make you want to kill yourself. #
  • Pt is picking up vicodin/soma and talking about going home to take a nap. Boy, what a hard hard life you live. #
  • Ive realized that pts wont go where they can get personal service, they go for the cheapest, sloppiest, quickest service they can find. #
  • Then they nail you to the cross when their lazyness/stupidty ends up getting them hurt/killed. Welcome to America. #
  • Picking up your Rx's should not be like double parking at a whore-house, fast/sloppy isn't always better. #
  • Aint no party like a crackhead party cuz a crackhead party dont stop! #

Angry Tweets for 2012-06-26

  • A huge helping of Viagra to @drugmonkey you old fart! Happy fucking birthday! #
  • BELAY THAT LAST TWEET. @drugmonkey viagra will be ready after a 2.25 hour wait. Go have a seat and i'll call your name when its ready. #
  • Im sorry @drugmonkey but your insurance isn't allowing your Viagra to go through. It'll be 2 more hours until they get the auth in. #
  • You a pharmacist who works in the trenches? You agree with me on everything? Sign this: #

Angry Tweets for 2012-06-06

  • Theres nothing like a patient who doesnt speak english, doesnt believe anything you say, and wants everything for fucking free. #needplague #
  • Some of my patients say "Why cant you be happy?" I want to respond "Why cant you be less of a fucking idiotic freeloading dumbshit?" #
  • I wake up and deal with this bullshit every fucking day for my wife, my child, and for the 1% of my patients who I actually make a diff. #
  • Some days I feel like saying "fuck it", but then there would be one less awesome pharmacist out there to offset the tons of shitty ones. #
  • To my ungrateful patients: I dont even need a please/thank you anymore, I just need for you to stop treating me like dogshit. #
  • I dont need a new job. I need a massive disaster to make people realize how good they fucking have it, and how it can all be gone in a snap. #
  • Yeah, pharmacists get fucked out of watching the Venus transit the sun, we only see Uranus transit the counters. #
  • Since when does your lack of money suddenly become my problem or fault? If this were cigs or lotto tickets you'd find the fucking money. #
  • Oh right, i'm the greedy 1% who worked his ass off, didnt do drugs, and is in a ton of debt. Oh, my taxes are paying for your life too. #
  • Its people like me that allow people like you to eat 3 meals a day, have a roof over your head, and a nicer fucking phone than me. #
  • If it were up to me, you'd be shoveling shit so you'd appreciate all the taxpayer money you are blowing on car rims, bling, and other shit. #
  • Doctors, there is a special place in TAP hell for those of you who tell your pts a sig change but dont write them a new Rx to inform us. #
  • Because they come to us when they are out in 2 days, insurance wont pay for a refill, and your front-end girl cant understand words. #

An open letter to my patients.

Dear patient standing in front of me.

Yes, I mean you.  You standing at the counter eye-fucking my forehead.  Listen, I’m sorry its taking so long to fill your prescription.  I mean you’ve been standing there for a whopping 5 mins not including the time it took my girls to verify that all of the information is correct in our computer system.  I’m very sorry that its taking so long to bill your insurance, be it that you left your card at home a whole 5 min drive away and refuse to get it.  I really wish I could make your day happier, but regrettably I can’t stay in business if I dispense $400 worth of medication to you without some sort of guarantee of payment, and I can probably safely guess that your credit-card won’t be able to take that hit (if you even brought it with you).  Yeah, I hear your sighing as if its some huge inconvenience we are putting you through by actually making sure we get paid for this drug, not to mention checking to see if they will actually kill you or not.  Whats your rush? The 5 other patients that you managed to cut in front of don’t act the way that you do.  In fact, I’m sure your actions have brightened their day as much as you have brightened mine.

I really wish you could see it from my perspective, getting paid $5 over the cost of the medication only to be screamed at because you don’t feel you should have to pay your share of the cost that equates to about a 97% discount for you.  I wish you could see yourself acting like a spoiled child who didn’t get brand name frosted flakes because your mother is on a tight budget.  In fact, I wish your mother slapped some manners and common courtesy into you growing up.

When you snatch that bag out of my clerks hands and storm off like we just pissed in your cornflakes it sucks, not for you but for us.  We work hard to help you, and to be quite honest, we can only do the best we can with what we are given.  In your case you gave us nothing to work on, no information, no help.  Im sorry my crystal ball isn’t working properly today so your prescription took a bit longer than expected.  Your attitude ruined our day, because we have that feeling that we could have done something different to make you less angry, like rub your feet or give you a lapdance.

So I’m sorry patient who is screeching his tires as you leave the parking lot in anger, Im sorry we took so long to fill your prescription.  I hope we can do it better next time.

Oh, and go fuck yourself you worthless sack of shit.


Your Pharmacist.

Rants from the most trusted profession.

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