- Protip: If you need to bring in your wife to explain a early methadone fill, make sure shes less fucked up as you are. #
- OH GOD QUIT CRYING ON THE COUNTER! ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR LIFE SUCKS SO QUIT BLAMING ME. #
- Time to see whats in The Angry Liquor Cabinet… Fuck, this is either going to be a good night or a vomitorium. #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-16
- You can always tell if your female tech is married or not by how she shakes the amox suspension. #
- How do you make every female pharm tech on the internet self concious? Call out how they shake amoxicillin. #
- If politicians were pharmacists, they would make their techs do all the work, promise early narcs to everyone, and never show up to work. #
- Oh, and on a narc inventory, they would clam that 500 vicodin were 'smashed and broken' and had to be disposed of. #
- If there was a pharmacy reality show, I want to be on it. If someone made a pharmacy movie, I want a cameo on it. #
- I want to be like Stan Lee in all the comic-book movies. I think that would fucking rule. #
- In the movie, @Burbdoc can call in my Rx for Vicodin, Soma, Ativan, and Prometh with Codeine for which I will pay for with a check. #
- Then 2 days later, I will "leave it all on the bus" and call the pharmacy every 2 mins until @BurbDoc approves the early fill. #
- Best idea ever: Me having a cameo on House MD. "Early fill again House? You're as bad as the crackheads!" #
- I would say to House "Bitch, you play an asshole on TV, I play one in real life" #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-15
- Last night ended and today started shitty. #
- As long as theres coffee with your baileys thats okay right? #
- Im looking at my lab slip and im wondering how much I can throw off my AST/ALT ratio. #
- Im also wondering how I should answer the question "Do you consume more than 3 alcoholic beverages per week" without a red flag/lying #
- Students: 1/4 coffee, 3/4 baileys; drank down to 1/4th volume then qs'd with baileys. Use aliquot method to determine coffee content. #
- Man, from my tweets you'd think I had an alcohol problem, well fear not, alcohol has no problem going into my mouth. #
- Ive determined that I have drunk down and qs'd this bailies so much, that the coffee content now can be considered a homeopathic remedy. #
- Sometimes I wonder if its my wit or my insanity that makes me so popular/funny. #
- I'm thinking of being a demotivational speaker for pharmacy schools. Shit I do it now for free. #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-14
- Watch my friday the 13th be full of happy responsible patients who dont fuss and pay their copays w/o question. #
- "Dont got enough for my copays" but spend 2x the copay amounts on trivial useless OTC crap? GTFO you fucking waste of a soul. #
- Do hookers get to write off panties, lipstick, condoms and listerine as a business expense? #
- "No sir, I can't sell you that stock bottle of 100 sudafed 60 on account of your lack of teeth and transmission fluid on your shirt" #
- I love it when crackheads try to flirt with me. Bitch I know you dont want me, you just want the keys to the store. #gtfocrackhead #
- I hear a story being told out front involving narcotics. Glad to see friday the 13th is just another day in paradise. #
- I think in a past life i was an ER doctor. I have this urge to blowgun all my patients with Narcan laced darts. #
- Uh oh, hide, @burbdoc is all fired up on shitty parents (good thing he doesn't work here!). #
- There are 2 walks of life that do not follow me, one with the little verified check-mark, and ppl who have worked in porn. #
- Shit, I always thought if someone was nice to me and gave me stuff for free I was supposed to be grateful and polite, fuck was I wrong. #
- Friday, almost closing time, im waiting for the truckload of peeps with "Im going out of town RIGHT NOW" stories to storm in. #
- Oh, that didn't take long, one is out front telling their story right now. Avagadros FML. #
- HAHAHA NO IM NOT PAGING THE MD FOR AN EARLY NARC REFILL. #
- I swear, there is not a better cleanser than crackhead tears on your counter. Planning ahead, maybe now you'll learn. #
- WTF I just got asked for a price quote for 360 Oxycontin 80. I almost said "Your first born", but I might get what I asked for. #
- Corny joke of the day. Insurance doesnt pay for your atorvastatin and you don't want to pay for it, so you get no-vastatin. #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-13
- Bitching over a $5 copay on a $400 Rx is a sign that yes, you are a fucking tool, and yes, you deserve a punch in the throat. #
- "Im a Pharmacist" // "Can you get me some vicodin?" // "Oh sure, come on in and i'll just give you some you fucking druggie" #hsreunion #
- We have pts asking when "Obama is going to pay for their drugs!" They are Medicare/Medicaid…. Soylent green I tell you, soylent green. #
- Love your life? Think you have the world by the balls? On cloud-nine of joy? Fix all that by starting an exciting career in retail pharmacy! #
- Retail pharmacy is like being a female porn star; you get paid, you get dicked day in and day out, and only once in a while you get yours. #
- You may love the job, and love the profession, but getting deep dicked by insurance companies and the public make it miserable. #
- You may think the grass is greener on the other side, until you realize that you still get dicked, its just owned by a different person. #
- Students always say im being too negative, until they get out and work for a year. Then they praise how right I really am. Well Duh. #
- For those optimistic students who think "Oh, my career will be different", I have news for you. Its not. #
- I could participate in #top100Lies but I really would have 100 lies to get vicodin early. #
- I just used the words 'burning' , 'junk', and 'sadfaced' in a capsacian cream consultation. Who's got 2 thumbs and doesnt give a shit? #
- You want #Top100Lies for a living? Try retail pharmacy! You'll get 200-300-500 lies! #
- My grandbaby stole my vicodin #top100lies #
- My doctor said he faxed the early refill auth this morning #top100lies #
- Anything that starts with "Okay heres what happened…" #top100lies #
- Anything a patient says dealing with narcotics #top100lies #
- "Hi honey how was your day"….. "Oh Fine" <– #top100lies #
- I didn't pick up my pain pills from another pharmacy last week #top100lies #
- Yeah, I have my insurance card right here #top100lies #
- No, I didn't add 5 refills to that oxycontin prescription #top100lies #
- The doctor said I could get it early, I have a 'standing order' for soma #top100lies #
- My doctor called in my methadone #top100lies #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-12
- In pharm school I was thinking of getting the vancomycin chemical structure as a tattoo. Now im still thinking of it. #
- I dont mind if your mother calls in regarding your medication, but if you're almost 50 and your mother still does, it explains a ton. #
- http://t.co/rX4H9AXo So, shall we all troll this RPh masturbation fest and make me the winner? #
- The longer your story, the less I believe it. "I lost them i'm a dumbshit" >> "Okay heres what happened…… blah blah blah blah blah" #
- So your lazy, irresponsible, government spoon-fed lifestyle is somehow my problem now? When did I become your mother? When did I give a shit #
- So sit on your couch, smoke a bowl, watch Judge Judy, listen to some skrillex, and go fucking bother someone who gives a shit. #
- Sorry for the Skrillex hate, but when you make music that sounds like Mag Citrate bowel sounds through a synth, you deserve what you get. #
- Case in point: http://t.co/cZOXmpMD The "OH MY GOD" is the same phrase I used right before my asshole turned inside out. #
- And for those of you new, heres the mag citrate story: http://t.co/FucIrf9r #
- . @SatiricalShrink @burbdoc Any doc who writes for Intermezzo better send nude pix of the rep along with the Rx to prevent a knifing. in reply to SatiricalShrink #
- Shit is too serious on twitter tonight. We need more poop and drunken escapades! #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-11
- Todays pharmacy anthem/story of my life: https://t.co/hot0O36e #
- The same idiots who forget their insurance card/ID at home are the same idiots who forget condoms when they put it in. #
- Is the collection of empty hard alcohol bottles on my desk a sign of professional development or just the state of pharmacy in general? #
- People ask why im so hateful and bitter. I ask them why they collect a welfare check, refuse to work, and pop out children like pez. #
- "Is it okay to drink while on antidepressants" Official answer: No. Real-life answer: Fuck yeah! #
- I was going to have an easter egg hunt around the pharmacy with eggs filled with soma and vicodin, but the law prevents that. #
- Its been too quiet at work lately. This means that someone is either going to shit on my floor or hold me up at gunpoint. #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-10
- A baseball bat to the face doesn't seem like a bad idea.. For me, not my patients. #
- Am I a bad person for not stopping people from buying Niacin to "flush" their system for a drug test? #
- TAP'S MIRACLE DRUG-FLUSH SOLUTION! 500mg Niacin, 1 bottle of Mag Citrate, and a long car-ride. Pharmacist approved! #
- What the fuck is up with old people and talking about their turds. I dont care when the last time you pooped. #
- They talk like pooping is some monumental thing that I should be proud of. Next thing I should be proud of wiping your ass by yourself #
- Fellow patients: Dubstep sounds like shit when played through regular speakers, it REALLY sounds like shit when played as a ringtone. #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-06
- Hi! @nomnompaleo is a fellow RPh and a friend of mine. Vote for her site here: http://t.co/y18tOBG7 so RPhs are known for food + anger! #
- Seriously, vote for her, or i'll fucking transfer all my crackheads to your store and tell them you have Actavis Prometh with Codeine. #
Angry Tweets for 2012-04-04
- "Fill all my regular meds" = Too lazy/stupid to call in numbers or on 30 meds because a pill > taking care of themselves. #
- Oh, and "Fill all my meds" = Hoping the pharmacist wont notice my vicodin is 2 weeks early in the mess of Rx's i need filled. #
- 2 CRACKHEADS, 1 OC OXYCONTIN BOTTLE, 1 OCTAGON. WHO WILL LEAVE HIGH AND WHO WILL LEAVE DEAD. SEE IT LIVE ON PPV! best idea ever. #
- Ever wonder why patients who cant take care of shit themselves always have so many kids, they cant take care of 'stuff' themselves. OH ZING! #